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I'll admit I just happened on this thread and have "scanned" through about 40% of the posts.........
Check out Santa Fe, N.M.
IMO your "life-style" would possibly fit well in that city.
Having worked for 40 of my 82 years in a position that put me in contact with "management" people on a daily basis, as I traveled through approx 40 of the 50 states................I feel that I have a good grasp with regard to people and their various types of personalities and life styles.
Think of situations in life as related to the "RISK/REWARD ratio.." No risk...very little reward!!!!!!!
As an 82 yr old, straight, widower after 51 yrs of marriage............I hope my opinion(s) might be of some benefit.
Good Luck........
Sana Fe, NM is a beautiful place but you must have resources to live there. I remember the intoxicating smell of pinions which will live inside me forever.
Because you are an 82 year old intelligent person perhaps you can answer a question for me...
Scenario:
42 year old divorced mom of a seven year old, graduating from graduate school in four months. Embarking on a new career.
Would you move to: Houston, TX area where the economy is thriving? Lived there before and really liked it.
Would you move to: Northern Virginia where the economy is strong, lived and loved before but expensive?
Would you move to Tampa, FL to start the new career in a new place?
I have lived in many states but it is now time to hunker down for my son to have the opportunity to meet his full potential.
My degree is a Masters in Substance Abuse Addiction...obviously there is a need out there!
How do I figure out what to do?
Do you think it's a good idea to pursue employment and plan to relocate somewhere that sounds good on paper, but you've never visited even once?
A couple years ago, I did tons of research and concluded that I wanted to move to Denver. However, when I visited Denver afterward, the general area did not appeal to me at all. I was a bit shocked at how hippie/liberal it was, and my research didn't quite paint an accurate picture enough as to how the place was in real life. I mean, I KNEW that it was a liberal environment, but just the way people carried themselves, their appearances/styles, flannel shirts, guys with long hair, goth girls, snow hats, etc. just weren't quite captured in my research. I just couldn't see myself fitting in there culturally. I spent hours looking at various spots in the area on Google Maps street view, but in real life it just appeared and felt different than I had imagined. So I decided not to move there.
But now my research is telling me that a few places in the country might be good for me, but I've never been to them. So I don't know what to do.
What would be your best advice on this matter?
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NO to your question. Let me qualify that- First, need to clarify about "pursue employment". You mean, look for a job before moving...or after moving? If the job was offered beforehand....you can always ACCEPT the offer and allow enough time between acceptance and Enter on Duty date to give you a little time to research the area where the job offer is. Usually several weeks...during which time you can always change your mind. My wife and I have moved WITH THE JOB a few times. The reassuring thing is that...knowing there is continued income...one generally need not worry much about this part of relocation. We usually get ample information about the place we have to move to for the job. My jobs have always provided full relocation expenses...and assigned a sponsor at the location to provide us with lots of info we need and help us relocate, make arrangements for our temporary stay, and pick us up at the airport when we arrive. Great so far. Not all the places we've moved to (13 times, so far) lived up to our expectations.
Now, if you have to pursue a job...it is an entirely a different matter. Unless you're in that highly marketable career field...then you're in luck. Nowadays, however, even people I know who possess all sorts of academic credentials and extensive experience...are struggling to find decent-paying jobs. So, my advice is...don't go before you have a job available. You have an idea what the grave consequences would be should the job you're pursuing doesn't materialize. Unless, you have a lot of money to blow away....and don't mind spending a lot on such ventures. Sure go ahead.
Not long ago we were (wife and I) in the same situation. After doing extensive research about the places we thought we would like...pinpointed it down to one or two places, then I did an initial exploratory visit. Stayed a few weeks, checked out all those nice things we researched, talked to people...and everything just seemed as we imagined them to be. So we proceeded to make the big move. We found a temporary place to stay...month to month, no lease, and has all the amenities of a regular home...and stayed a few months. Not the same. Not enough. Even for some folks who have stayed the entire length of their year lease...may discover, that it is not what they thought it would be!
Conclusion: There really isn't such a place called PERFECT. Not even near perfect. Maybe "ideal".
The people you meet when you visit...may not be there anymore when you move to the place. The perfect weather you experienced when you came to visit the first time (to check things out)...is not so perfect anymore (as weather system are likely to do). So it is wherever you go....it only seems so, but never quite like you hoped for.
From the northwest corner of the U.S. (Blaine, WA...right at the Canadian border...yes, by the beautiful Pacific Ocean!)...we left for various reasons. Mostly the weather...grey overcast, almost seems to be drizzling, raining most of the time...very short summers (fabulously comfortable)...hardly any vehicular traffice (our town didn't have traffic lights nor parking meters). If there were 4 cars on the streets passing by...that's heavy traffic congestion already. We went to Prescott, AZ. 5,300 ft elevation.. not so hot summers, snowy winters...but not heavy snow accumulations..stayed a couple of months...didn't find the right home for us....so we moved on (again).
Now we are in Florida...near St. Augustine. At least, we've lived here before and pretty much know what to expect. But times have changed. Not many of the former friendly folks we met a few years ago are around anymore. Now, mostly snow-birds, with their fancy homes and bad habits they brought with them from the north..northeast...or wherever they came from. I'm sure there are some good ones. But they never seem to be around when you need them. Traffic is horrendous...even in small cities. And far too many rude drivers now than there were years back when we lived here.
After all these years of traveling (around the world...twice) and across the U.S. a few times, you'd think I would have learned my lessons, right? I think it's just my stubborness....still hoping there's hope out there...somewhere.
But maybe I've gotten a little wiser lately (about time). Happiness is never (if you think you found it...it usually fades away after a while...then you're out searching for it again) found outside of yourself. It is inside us. In our minds. We've always had it....just didn't know where to find it...because we have been looking in the wrong places...outside ourselves.
Best to you in your search.
Location: Approximately 50 miles from Missoula MT/38 yrs full time after 4 yrs part time
2,308 posts, read 4,122,467 times
Reputation: 5025
Quote:
Originally Posted by breakingbad
Sana Fe, NM is a beautiful place but you must have resources to live there. I remember the intoxicating smell of pinions which will live inside me forever........................................... ......................
Because you are an 82 year old intelligent person perhaps you can answer a question for me...
Scenario:
42 year old divorced mom of a seven year old, graduating from graduate school in four months. Embarking on a new career.....................
Would you move to: Houston, TX area where the economy is thriving? Lived there before and really liked it.
Would you move to: Northern Virginia where the economy is strong, lived and loved before but expensive?
Would you move to Tampa, FL to start the new career in a new place?............................................ .................................................. ..........................
From the minimal info you have provided, I would think that Houston would be the most logical. However I am in-no-way qualified to suggest what decision you should make.
Do as much "research" as you can regarding your potential job opportunities in the city that you think would meet your desires.
Arrange to have discussions with "advisors" (regarding your specific situation) from the college or university you are getting your degree from ............their input should be of some value.
Good luck to you & I certainly commend you for getting your advanced degree..........I'm sure it has not been an "easy road"!
Sana Fe, NM is a beautiful place but you must have resources to live there. I remember the intoxicating smell of pinions which will live inside me forever.
Because you are an 82 year old intelligent person perhaps you can answer a question for me...
Scenario:
42 year old divorced mom of a seven year old, graduating from graduate school in four months. Embarking on a new career.
Would you move to: Houston, TX area where the economy is thriving? Lived there before and really liked it.
Would you move to: Northern Virginia where the economy is strong, lived and loved before but expensive?
Would you move to Tampa, FL to start the new career in a new place?
I have lived in many states but it is now time to hunker down for my son to have the opportunity to meet his full potential.
My degree is a Masters in Substance Abuse Addiction...obviously there is a need out there!
How do I figure out what to do?
Recent articles I've read include the TX large cities booming too fast for their infrastructures (water, electricity, less traffic). They'd rather not increase taxes as per the original ideas that made them such nice cities to relocate to in the first place. I never followed up on this, but barring that as a potential issue, they do have allot of nice qualities (low CoL, lots of Nov opps).
I've lived in northern VA (NoVA) for 8 years. It's a nice place. There will be $$ there due to all of the government activity. Any place inside the beltway is considered nicer. However, if you have no need to go into the city, you can always live further out in a larger place for cheaper. Otherwise, compromise and leave access to Metro Rail or Metro Busses.
There are a few inconsistencies from the OP in this thread. I'm not knocking the OP for anything, just some observations I've made while reading this topic.
The OP asked if it was a good idea relocate to a place without visiting first. I'm not saying it's a bad, or irresponsible, idea, but of all the people that relocate each year, it's a very small percentage of people that do this without visiting first or at the very least having family or friends in the area they're moving to. It can obviously work for people if they are willing to take the risk and they aren't especially picky. Anyway, the OP asks this question, but considered moving to Denver I believe without visiting first, but then once he visited the place, decided it wasn't the place for him. There is nothing wrong with that, but since you've already seen that one place you were considering wasn't a place you wanted to live, you might want to visit places from now on or at least ask friends or family if any of them have visited the city and what they thought.
The OP is also worried about appearing irresponsible to employers. Well, if you're so worried about appearing irresponsible, then maybe you should actually visit the places you're considering. One of the things mentioned earlier was that you are worried about lying to employers when/if they ask you if you've ever been to the city before. Obviously, if you visit these places, you can honestly tell interviewers that you've been to their city.
You're 30 and have $60k saved up. That is impressive and shows you've more than likely made some sacrifices in your life in terms of fun. It also shows that you probably haven't done much in your life without researching it first, not big decisions anyway. I respect your discipline to be able to save money and you're desire to research these places you're considering, but if visiting them is a way to research them also and it can be done fairly cheaply. As EllysBelly said, you can fly r/t and get a hotel for a couple nights for under $1000 most places. I'd gladly spend $1000 to see if the place I'm moving to is a place I'd like. More than likely, a couple days in a place won't tell me if I'll like it or not, but I would definitely be able to see if I don't like it. If you visit these places, get out of the tourist areas if there are any and go places that locals would go.
$60k is a lot of money and most of us that relocate would love to have that type of money. I know somebody that moved from Indiana to Texas with just money for gas and a little over 2 weeks in a cheap motel. They found a job pretty quick and with their first check, they moved into a fairly cheap apartment. Now they own a pretty nice house and have moved up in the company. This person's situation was different than the OP's though because they had visited the place and did feel that it was the place for them. When and if you move, you don't have to move into the nicest place you can find to start out. Instead of $1750/month, see if you can find a place you like for $700-900/month for maybe 6 months. If at the end of that time, you haven't found a job, you can move again and your financial exposure has been limited. If you've found a job and you like the city, you can move into a nicer place and begin your new life the way you want to. If I had $60k, I would gladly risk $10k-15k of it for my own happiness, especially as a single person.
Moving away from your friends and family is a scary concept for anybody. I will be moving by the end of this summer, possibly to Arizona. I'm excited, but I'm also scared to death. I will have anywhere from $17k-25k and if I do happen to have a trouble finding a job, I know that I'll only need a small portion of that to get back here if I need to. My family isn't well off. They might be able to send me money for a couple months rent or money to get me back home if I need it, but they can't do that for very long. Even if they send me money to get me home, it would most likely be just enough for gas and maybe some food, probably not hotels, not nice ones anyway.
My point here is that if you're unhappy in your current location, you have the means to change that. You can wake up one day and say, "I've had enough of this place, I'll move to ________." Then just do it. You may not get your idea of the perfect job right off the bat, but more than likely, you will get one and you can just go from there.
There are a few inconsistencies from the OP in this thread. I'm not knocking the OP for anything, just some observations I've made while reading this topic.
The OP asked if it was a good idea relocate to a place without visiting first. I'm not saying it's a bad, or irresponsible, idea, but of all the people that relocate each year, it's a very small percentage of people that do this without visiting first or at the very least having family or friends in the area they're moving to. It can obviously work for people if they are willing to take the risk and they aren't especially picky. Anyway, the OP asks this question, but considered moving to Denver I believe without visiting first, but then once he visited the place, decided it wasn't the place for him. There is nothing wrong with that, but since you've already seen that one place you were considering wasn't a place you wanted to live, you might want to visit places from now on or at least ask friends or family if any of them have visited the city and what they thought.
The OP is also worried about appearing irresponsible to employers. Well, if you're so worried about appearing irresponsible, then maybe you should actually visit the places you're considering. One of the things mentioned earlier was that you are worried about lying to employers when/if they ask you if you've ever been to the city before. Obviously, if you visit these places, you can honestly tell interviewers that you've been to their city.
You're 30 and have $60k saved up. That is impressive and shows you've more than likely made some sacrifices in your life in terms of fun. It also shows that you probably haven't done much in your life without researching it first, not big decisions anyway. I respect your discipline to be able to save money and you're desire to research these places you're considering, but if visiting them is a way to research them also and it can be done fairly cheaply. As EllysBelly said, you can fly r/t and get a hotel for a couple nights for under $1000 most places. I'd gladly spend $1000 to see if the place I'm moving to is a place I'd like. More than likely, a couple days in a place won't tell me if I'll like it or not, but I would definitely be able to see if I don't like it. If you visit these places, get out of the tourist areas if there are any and go places that locals would go.
$60k is a lot of money and most of us that relocate would love to have that type of money. I know somebody that moved from Indiana to Texas with just money for gas and a little over 2 weeks in a cheap motel. They found a job pretty quick and with their first check, they moved into a fairly cheap apartment. Now they own a pretty nice house and have moved up in the company. This person's situation was different than the OP's though because they had visited the place and did feel that it was the place for them. When and if you move, you don't have to move into the nicest place you can find to start out. Instead of $1750/month, see if you can find a place you like for $700-900/month for maybe 6 months. If at the end of that time, you haven't found a job, you can move again and your financial exposure has been limited. If you've found a job and you like the city, you can move into a nicer place and begin your new life the way you want to. If I had $60k, I would gladly risk $10k-15k of it for my own happiness, especially as a single person.
Moving away from your friends and family is a scary concept for anybody. I will be moving by the end of this summer, possibly to Arizona. I'm excited, but I'm also scared to death. I will have anywhere from $17k-25k and if I do happen to have a trouble finding a job, I know that I'll only need a small portion of that to get back here if I need to. My family isn't well off. They might be able to send me money for a couple months rent or money to get me back home if I need it, but they can't do that for very long. Even if they send me money to get me home, it would most likely be just enough for gas and maybe some food, probably not hotels, not nice ones anyway.
My point here is that if you're unhappy in your current location, you have the means to change that. You can wake up one day and say, "I've had enough of this place, I'll move to ________." Then just do it. You may not get your idea of the perfect job right off the bat, but more than likely, you will get one and you can just go from there.
Very thorough and helpful....thank you.
Well, I suppose to minimize the risk of failure, I could select a place that is strong with accounting jobs. I would be terrified of moving to a place that is weak on accounting jobs, even if I preferred to live in that place. But my resume is very good indeed and even though I've only been at my current job for 11 months, I frequently get contacted by recruiters from LinkedIn on a weekly basis.
I really don't want to live in a large metro area though, since I'm a laid back person who needs plenty of breathing space and quiet. I want to live in a metro of less than 2 million, that's not too expensive. And a decent gay population. Also, I am generally not interested in Florida, because everyone moves there, and I am not a jump-on-the-bandwagon kind of person. After careful thought, I don't think Houston or any Texas city would be right for me. I just can't stand traffic/congestion, crowds, etc. Some places that I have in mind would be cities in upstate NY, southern New England, Columbus OH, Raleigh NC, Jacksonville, FL, New Orleans, and possibly smaller metros.
I am from the Hartford, CT metro area and thought it was a perfect size to live in (1.2 million).
Well, I suppose to minimize the risk of failure, I could select a place that is strong with accounting jobs. I would be terrified of moving to a place that is weak on accounting jobs, even if I preferred to live in that place. But my resume is very good indeed and even though I've only been at my current job for 11 months, I frequently get contacted by recruiters from LinkedIn on a weekly basis.
I really don't want to live in a large metro area though, since I'm a laid back person who needs plenty of breathing space and quiet. I want to live in a metro of less than 2 million, that's not too expensive. And a decent gay population. Also, I am generally not interested in Florida, because everyone moves there, and I am not a jump-on-the-bandwagon kind of person. After careful thought, I don't think Houston or any Texas city would be right for me. I just can't stand traffic/congestion, crowds, etc. Some places that I have in mind would be cities in upstate NY, southern New England, Columbus OH, Raleigh NC, Jacksonville, FL, New Orleans, and possibly smaller metros.
I am from the Hartford, CT metro area and thought it was a perfect size to live in (1.2 million).
Ever consider Des Moines? Metro of around 650K. Gay friendly (I have a lot of gay friends there) and they put on a fabulous Pride Fest every year, and home to my favorite place for a drink.
It seeks small towns but many of the towns mentioned are near large metro areas so it might be worth a look. From all you've said it seems as though you might be out of your element outside of New England. That kind of comfort level is important. You could visit these areas a little more easily since they're in your "neck of the woods", and you can check out job prospects. Speaking of comfort, we all yearn for warm weather but that's what vacations are for! Good luck!
Ever consider Des Moines? Metro of around 650K. Gay friendly (I have a lot of gay friends there) and they put on a fabulous Pride Fest every year, and home to my favorite place for a drink.
I loved Des Moines. For a city its size there is always something to do.
Yes, I actually have considered Des Moines, quite thoroughly. I've also driven through the area on I-80 and stopped at a Walgreens near there, but that's it lol.
From what I've seen, it looks like a pleasant, laid back place to live, with some decent scenery, too.
But I heard it's a rather family oriented area without much of a gay singles scene.
I also have read MANY reviews about transplants who moved to Iowa and Des Moines in general and they said that Iowan people are a bit strange (for lack of a better term) and insular to outsiders. Who knows though.
But yeah, on paper it seems like a decent place. Not sure how I'd feel about living that far isolated in the middle of the Midwest with no family or friends though. Might make me depressed.
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