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Old 05-09-2014, 08:21 PM
 
90 posts, read 257,115 times
Reputation: 49

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I am a mess. I must decide by Monday morning whether our family will move from Minneapolis, MN to Dallas, TX. Every time think I know what to do, I change my mind and it is tearing me apart. My entire life I have struggled with the cold weather here in MN and I never wanted to stay. Ten years ago we started talking about moving to Dallas, went several times, and liked it. My husband never really wanted to move as he likes MN and has a snake phobia, the job situation never aligned, and we stayed put. Every winter is a challenge, but the past 2 winters especially have been brutally cold and extremely long. I suffer from severe SAD and getting anything done in winter is a real struggle; I feel trapped and isolated and have intense fear of driving on slippery roads so for the most part we stay put in winter. I have tried light therapy, vitamins, and exercise but nothing has helped. I feel cold all the time and cannot warm up; my hands and feet are always ice cold. I wear long underwear under my winter clothing from October through April or May with a fleece jacket or robe inside the house and my lips still turn purple. We have 3 kids ages 15, 13 and 10 and I can no longer go outside for half the year to play with them because I cannot tolerate the cold. It got so bad this winter I couldn't take it anymore, we went back down to Dallas for another visit where my mood and energy level improved within the first day, and my husband asked work to allow him to work remotely from Dallas. It took several months for an answer, but two weeks ago we found out they are granting his request, but the first three months are on a trial basis (more of a formality than anything).

The problem is we will be giving up a wonderful life here. Our kids are in good schools which offer programming that is geared to their interests, we live in a gorgeous home we built two years ago which is in a phenominal family neighborhood crawling with kids, and in September I started a well paying job at my husband's work after staying home for 10 years (which I cannot keep if we move). We are financially set if we stay. My husband and I work together, commute together, have a great work environment, flexible schedules, and lots of advancement opportunities. We live 40 minutes from work and the length of the commute is a concern for me with the kids being home during summer/days off school and their activities. After I let my boss know about our plans this week, I really started to have second thoughts because everything in our life is great except the weather. But that piece is really, really bad for me. I hate to move my family for this one thing, but it is such a big thing that it really cripples my life. On the other hand, moving is full of complete unknowns. Things could work out great, or they could be miserable and then we would have given up so much. I would have to find a new job and I would definitely take a large pay cut. My husband would work from home and would be there for the kids, yet he would be isolated. It would be a huge adjustment for the kids, especially because they just switched schools two years ago when we built our house (that was a great move and they adjusted well). I feel like it seems obvious that it's better to stay, but then I step outside and feel miserable. And after all these years of wanting to move, it would be really hard to pass up the opportunity as I know it will not come again. Please provide guidance.

Last edited by QueenBee; 05-09-2014 at 08:38 PM..
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Old 05-09-2014, 08:43 PM
 
Location: Aiken, South Carolina, US of A
1,762 posts, read 3,833,696 times
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QueenBee,
If you are really in doubt, do nothing.
I'm serious.
It's a big change, and will effect your entire family, so if you
have THIS much doubt, stay where you are.
I have SAD too, and I would go into a bad depression in the
winter, by February, it was hard to get out of bed, and I was
very young. I would just push myself beyond belief, I had to.
Mabey looking into other methods of getting warmth and sun is
something you will have to look into. Seriously.
I moved 6 years ago, 600 miles away from PA, and I have never regretted
it. Not one day.
But, my kids are all grown, not minors, so I was in a different situation.
The time will come for you when you will have no doubts, not at all.
You will know when this time happens, and you will move.
So, in the meantime, go out and enjoy the nice weather now, and stop
worrying, and relax with life, it's too short.
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Old 05-09-2014, 08:51 PM
 
Location: Des Moines Metro
5,047 posts, read 5,959,698 times
Reputation: 9419
Quote:
I have tried light therapy, vitamins, and exercise but nothing has helped. I feel cold all the time and cannot warm up; my hands and feet are always ice cold. I wear long underwear under my winter clothing from October through April or May with a fleece jacket or robe inside the house and my lips still turn purple.
I'm not a doctor, but I think you should schedule an appointment at Mayo Clinic ASAP. There are several medical conditions that can cause that problem. Please heed this advice. One of them has the potential to get a lot worse and could become life-threatening if left untreated.
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Old 05-09-2014, 08:54 PM
 
7,099 posts, read 24,438,116 times
Reputation: 7301
Stay inside the house, in bed, and sleep a lot. Don't try to live a "normal" life. I think I sleep about 18 hours a day during the winter. The warm bed is the best!

Turn the heat up and get a stack of books to read and don't even think about going outside. Don't think about driving. That will help a little, but you could still have the same sort of thing, no matter where you moved. Think about your family first.
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Old 05-09-2014, 08:57 PM
 
90 posts, read 257,115 times
Reputation: 49
Thank you all for your advice.

Meemur, on the medical issue, I have been to doctors already this winter, had testing done, and nothing abnormal was found.

Butterfly4U, I will always have doubt because that is my nature; I agonize over every decision If we do not go now, I do not see we will ever go as I do not want to move away from my children. Part of me feels you are right with your advice to do nothing, yet the other part feels the disappointment of a dream dying. I cannot enjoy the warm weather just yet as it is still cold here
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Old 05-09-2014, 09:11 PM
 
Location: Des Moines Metro
5,047 posts, read 5,959,698 times
Reputation: 9419
Quote:
Originally Posted by QueenBee View Post
Meemur, on the medical issue, I have been to doctors already this winter, had testing done, and nothing abnormal was found.
For what it's worth, we had to drag my cousin to OSU Medical before she was accurately diagnosed with hypothyroidism and treated. The medical people she saw weren't on top of things. That's why I suggested Mayo because they're usually good. Disregard if they did the testing, but if not, consider another opinion.

Something isn't right because it's not normal to be that cold. ):
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Old 05-09-2014, 09:20 PM
 
90 posts, read 257,115 times
Reputation: 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meemur View Post
For what it's worth, we had to drag my cousin to OSU Medical before she was accurately diagnosed with hypothyroidism and treated. The medical people she saw weren't on top of things. That's why I suggested Mayo because they're usually good. Disregard if they did the testing, but if not, consider another opinion.

Something isn't right because it's not normal to be that cold. ):
I know it's not normal to feel this cold, but nothing I can really do. They did test for hypothyroidism.
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Old 05-09-2014, 09:32 PM
 
Location: Des Moines Metro
5,047 posts, read 5,959,698 times
Reputation: 9419
Yeah, if your cold is anything like my mom's, it's miserable.

We lived in Michigan, and she insisted on moving to Florida and thought that would cure her. It didn't. She had heart problems that affected her circulation. If we had known about that sooner, more could've been done, but no one knew until it was too late. And that was back in the 80s before some of the new technology was in wider use, so I shouldn't say too much, but I miss her, a lot! She was barely 60 when she passed.

But anyway, you could try setting medical issues aside for a moment and doing a pro/con list and see if that helps at all. When I have something large to decide, it helps to see my thoughts in black and white.
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Old 05-09-2014, 10:05 PM
 
Location: TOVCCA
8,452 posts, read 11,357,104 times
Reputation: 12301
Consider buying an infrared sauna. Seriously. They are completely different from conventional saunas that transfer heat by circulating hot air. Infrared heat rays warm your body directly, by penetrating up to 2 inches inside the body. You don't have to get the sauna that hot. You can even have the door wide open. I have one. It really warms me up and I stay warm for a long time. I have a Health Mate.
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Old 05-09-2014, 10:12 PM
 
Location: Sugarmill Woods , FL
6,235 posts, read 5,852,224 times
Reputation: 13639
Change is good, don't regret not doing something. Go with your gut and don't over think the situation. If you hate Texas you can always go back north , but at least you will KNOW for sure.
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