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Old 01-03-2015, 05:00 PM
3 posts, read 3,883 times
Reputation: 12


Hello, everyone.

I recently lost my mother on christmas day of thyroid cancer. I need to leave michigan because it just hurts me too much to be here and not have her by my side.

I would like to know what are the best places to start a new life in. I mean in terms of employment and education and nightlife. I thought about going to San Diego but that town looks a bit pricey online.
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Old 01-03-2015, 08:58 PM
Location: Portland, OR
603 posts, read 564,370 times
Reputation: 578
Wow, i'm very sorry for your loss. I'm going to say that in my opinion, it's best not to make a drastic decision so soon after a life-changing event. Since it just recently occurred, you may want to go through your grieving period before uprooting the life you have. It's hard to give anyone advice about moving - without knowing your specific circumstances (your skillset, education level, current funds available, etc.). I myself am going through a life-changing event as well (sudden divorce from my husband), and am moving - but I am moving to my support system (my parents and siblings), since where I lived with my soon-to-be ex-husband, I was very much isolated. Is there somewhere you can go where you'd have a support system? I.E., other family or friends who can help you through these tough times? I'm just offering my condolences and my two cents. I hope whatever you decide, it turns out good for you.
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Old 01-03-2015, 11:02 PM
Location: Myrtle Beach
1,493 posts, read 1,180,246 times
Reputation: 3787
I'm sorry about your loss. I completely understand your pain and wanting to get away, but you should proceed with caution. What worked for me was to get in touch with a grief support group. Most areas have them connected with your church or a local hospital. I wish you the best
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Old 01-04-2015, 02:55 AM
Location: Austin
595 posts, read 672,132 times
Reputation: 1091
Kimmimay707, I am very sorry for your loss.

I agree with what Annilyna wrote about not making drastic decisions and changes while you are still grieving. I can relate somewhat to your situation. My sister and I lived together as roommates for 18 years until her passing last March. It seemed like everywhere brought up memories and was a constant reminder of losing her. However, moving to a new area is in itself a stressful change. Perhaps you could delay your move for a time and allow yourself to grieve without adding additional stress from the changes of moving. Also, your current area may offer valuable support from friends and family. This can be very important during this period. By moving so quickly, you could find yourself even more overwhelmed with the addition problems and stresses of relocation and having to deal with it alone.

After giving yourself some time, the move to a new area could be fantastic for you. I plan on doing just that myself but wanted to wait one year to give time to cope with changes. I don't mean to sound preachy. Someone gave this advice to me last spring when I wanted to move quickly, and looking back, it was great advice.

Once again, I'm very sorry for your loss.
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Old 01-04-2015, 09:08 AM
3,492 posts, read 4,933,570 times
Reputation: 5377
Not sure what good there is to grieving where she (or he) is rather than somewhere new. It's not like work is going to allow paid time off to deal with emotional issues. We don't have unions or respect for the rights of "workers", also known as "the little people" by management.


My condolences on your loss. If you decide you want to move to a new area and have the necessary resources, lay out your requirements for the new city and toss me a PM with a link to your thread and I'll provide some guidance on cities that fit your criteria. I've studied most of the country, so I can usually locate the cities that best fit almost any criteria.

If you do decide to go to San Diego, look a few miles in from the shore and the prices start dropping off dramatically. It is still fairly expensive relative to cities in other states, but that is simply the California factor.
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