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Old 04-11-2015, 09:00 AM
 
Location: right here
4,127 posts, read 4,761,053 times
Reputation: 4862

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Yes, I regret moving back to Denver. I'm a Colorado native and own a house...a relationship didn't work out so I couldn't wait to move from Tampa to Denver. I've been back since September 2013..and I can't find a decent job-I'm making 50% less than what I was making in Florida...the cost of living here is insane...I just read an article that there are 80 jobs for every 1,00 residents. I'm broke, depressed and need to do something. I'm in my prime earning years..and I'm earning what a new college grad would earn.
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Old 04-12-2015, 08:19 PM
 
Location: The middle of nowhere
8,754 posts, read 4,025,691 times
Reputation: 7483
Yes,

I moved back to Oklahoma City in 2012 after a decade away. I absolutely loved my adopted hometown on the east coast and wanted to stay there for life, but thanks to the Great Recession (and pressure from family to move back to Oklahoma) I made the decision to move back home. It was the worst decision of my entire life.

I didn't grow up in OKC but I lived here from 1998-2002 and my family is still in a small town nearby so this is as close to "home" as I have. In addition to the Great Recession, nostalgia and desire to return to the simpler days of childhood and adolescence brought me back, but as others have said, people change and I have changed. Living in your hometown again will not be the same as it was when you were there before. It was within a couple of weeks after settling into my new apartment that I realized I had made a severe mistake. My prior years in OKC before really were not all that great but we tend to look back at the past through rose-colored glasses. I had forgotten every reason that I left, and every negative emotion associated with this place came back full force immediately upon my returning. Quite frankly, these past three years have been the most miserable years of my entire life. I am also semi-permanently stuck in OKC without an easy way out.

My advice is to really think this through hard. It seems like you have inhibitions about moving back and to me, I would say that is a sign you should probably not do it. You left for a reason. Maybe you can find some place close to Portland, ME that will better suit you. I am currently working towards leaving Oklahoma City for the DFW area, even if it takes me years to do it, but the city for me would be the best of both worlds. Close to family but it is the type of city and it has all the amenities that I desire and is a place I could actually be happy.
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Old 04-26-2015, 09:03 PM
 
Location: St. Petersburg, FL
114 posts, read 185,131 times
Reputation: 165
Quote:
Originally Posted by #1soonerfan View Post
OP I did this about a year ago. My advice to you? Remember Thomas Wolf's quote, "you can never go home again."

I moved back to my hometown about a year ago (to the day) after being gone nearly a decade. I really enjoyed my adopted hometown but I was frankly a bit burned out by it. I got a great opportunity back home and I wanted to be near my parents. Plus I still had a small network of friends and relatives in the area, so I wouldn't be starting over completely. Within 60 days of moving, I realized I made a mistake. Friends and family who I thought would be there have been a no show. I have become very close to my sister, but I actually speak to my parents less living 30 minutes away than I did 3+ hours. Plus, all of the things that I hated about my hometown when I lived there but faded out of my mind over time revealed themselves with a vengeance.

I don't hold it against my friends and family that they did not necessarily fully embrace me when I cam back. People and places change over time. And it was probably a bit unfair for me to expect us to just pick up our relationship where we left off after being gone for so long. I can't speak on COL since my expenses increased considerably now that I've moved back home....I seriously get angry every time I pay my rent compared to what I was paying. My plan is to give this area another year but outside any major events I will probably move back sometime in 2016.

Think long and hard about this and understand your romanticized view of Portland that is based in your past now may not be the reality today. Posting a "how are things now" in the ME forum is a good suggestion. I have a close friend in San Jose so I know the Bay Area is crazy expensive; however if you really enjoy it and are making due with your current costs, I would be hesitant in leaving it for that reason alone. You also may be underestimating how deep your roots are in SF as well. Its funny where "home" becomes over time.
I could have written nearly every word of this! I moved away when I was 19, planning to never live here again. 13 years later, I came back so that I could have a closer relationship to my mom. We definitely see each other more than when I was living across the country, and I'm glad for this time that we've had, but I have GOT to get out of this hole! I guess the time away dulled just how bad it is here for me. I've been back for 2 years, and I'm planning to leave in about 6-8 months.
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Old 04-26-2015, 09:09 PM
 
Location: The middle of nowhere
8,754 posts, read 4,025,691 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zelavie View Post
I could have written nearly every word of this! I moved away when I was 19, planning to never live here again. 13 years later, I came back so that I could have a closer relationship to my mom. We definitely see each other more than when I was living across the country, and I'm glad for this time that we've had, but I have GOT to get out of this hole! I guess the time away dulled just how bad it is here for me. I've been back for 2 years, and I'm planning to leave in about 6-8 months.
Congratulations.

At least you didn't get yourself into a financial situation that trapped you as I did. My target date of moving has changed from 2016 to 2020. I believe family is important, but not at the cost of living somewhere that you are miserable.
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Old 04-26-2015, 10:30 PM
 
451 posts, read 381,277 times
Reputation: 838
I could never move back. MPLS is a popular city, but I personally hate it. My parents are both deceased but I still have siblings living there as well as in-laws. But in the grand scheme of things... "See ya next Christmas"! (Never going back).
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Old 04-30-2015, 01:10 PM
 
1,056 posts, read 957,747 times
Reputation: 2417
I would say it depends on your hometown. If your hometown is a thriving big city or suburb of a thriving big city, it might be a good thing to move back, assuming you really liked living there while you were growing up. If your hometown is like mine, a city of 75k with a economy that isn't really growing in a rural state, then no it probably wouldn't benefit you to move back.

My parents still live in the city where I grew up. I moved to a different part of the state for college and after graduation moved to a large city in another state. What I've noticed when I go back is that most of the people who graduated the same time I did and stayed in the city have not really excelled in their lives. Most of them have sub-par jobs with minimal growth potential and are making half of what they could make in a big city. The few exceptions are folks like me who went to college and graduated with marketable degrees; some of them have pretty good jobs but they are still making far less than what they would make in a big city. It seems like most of the people who had motivation left and most of the folks who stayed were just too lazy or scared to move somewhere with better opportunities. The costs of real estate in my hometown are just as much if not more than many major cities in the US so the people who stayed are making due with a lot less overall money than they would if they moved somewhere else.

Something else I've noticed about my particular hometown is that while it hasn't grown much, it has changed. Rose-colored glasses seem to exist about places where you spend your childhood because now when I look at my hometown, it doesn't seem how I remember it. I remember it being more attractive, I remember stores and restaurants I used to go to that seemed great at the time but are mediocre compared to what I'm used to now; basically I remember it being a much better place than it seems now.

I will say the lifestyle in my hometown would be pretty nice at times such as a 10 or 15 minute maximum commute and the opportunities for outdoor activities better than most places, but overall the negatives far outweigh the positives. I would take a 25 to 50% pay-cut, my husband would be lucky if he could find any jobs at all in his field and if he did it would be a 50 to 75% pay-cut and price of housing is maybe only 25% less than the urban area we live in now. A 50% cut in income with only a 25% cut in the cost of housing accompanied by a flat economy and limited leisure activities = no I would never move back to my hometown.

Just make the decision with this in mind: assume nothing will be the same as it was before. If you move back expecting to jump back into the same life you had before, you will be very disappointed.
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Old 05-06-2015, 02:28 AM
 
62 posts, read 66,585 times
Reputation: 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by stanjuza View Post
Hi,

as when we left, were happy to leave the small city as we were not happy there at the time. I don't want to get there and have a long winter and realize I made a huge mistake.

Has anyone moved back home and regretted it? Any advice?
Yes, I moved back to my home town and feel it was possibly the worst decision I've made in my life to date.
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Old 05-08-2015, 10:20 PM
 
Location: Spurs country. "Go, Spurs, Go!"
3,367 posts, read 3,930,846 times
Reputation: 8660
Moved to Texas from Michigan, lived in Texas for 8 years, moved back to Michigan when my life turned upside down to be close to what little family I have left, and was back "home" in Texas within 5 months! I learned the old adage "you can't go home again" is true in my case. Not only had the family dynamics/relationships changed, but my whole lifetime of memories had changed. In reality, nothing was the same anymore. Texas had become my home, and I have blossomed since I returned. I have no plans to ever return to Michigan after the disaster I experienced several years ago.
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Old 06-09-2015, 05:26 PM
 
2 posts, read 30,408 times
Reputation: 10
Thank you all for the insight and advice. We are still not sure what is the right thing to do, as it's such a hard decision. We will think about this more and we may go back east and rent for a year to feel things out, as it's just so hard to say if we should move permanently.
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Old 09-27-2018, 06:49 AM
 
1 posts, read 1,832 times
Reputation: 10
What is the current status? What did you decide to do Stanjuza?
We moved from the Bay Area 2.5-years ago to VT (closer to home) and are thinking of moving back. I feel like we are crazy though but we feel the pull to ‘home’ (my husband had been there 25-yrs and me 17-yrs).
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