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Old 01-27-2016, 03:39 AM
 
Location: Colorado
722 posts, read 502,088 times
Reputation: 1043

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I've lived in this town for 40 years. I married my husband here and our kiddos were born here. We are so happy with our move, it will provide better things for us in many ways. But as I was packing it hit me yesterday, we will only be here for a few more short weeks. I haven't even had time to think about this or really say goodbye to anyone. Since my husband works I'm the main purger and packer and I've been pretty consumed with that. I don't really have time for a tiny emotional meltdown but I'm feeling sad right now. I need to make sure the kids say goodbye to everyone in their activities, etc. Just part of the process I suppose.
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Old 01-27-2016, 07:02 AM
 
174 posts, read 185,311 times
Reputation: 176
Although we won't be moving for another 6 or 8 months, I can identify with what you are saying. I too, have had some of the same feelings. We are a lot older than you, retired, with married adult children who have their own homes and are very independent. After living in CT our entire life, we are making a move down south. We are looking forward to warmer weather, lower taxes, a smaller house and easier living. Because we've only had two homes in over 40 years, we had a lot of stuff. I've been purging and packing for about 6 months and the process has been emotional. I kept a camera handy and a box of tissues. I keep telling myself that I can always look at the pictures of the good times and family gatherings that we had in this house. And no one can take those memories away. But now it's time for a change. A positive change to our life which will include a new house which we will make into our home, just like we did here. We'll have new places to explore and new people to meet. We recently had an estate sales person in to talk about have a sale for us. So now, as the weeks go by it is getting more "real". I feel sad every now and then too because I feel we're leaving what was a good life here. But then I realize that we can create a good life somewhere else. It's within our power to do that. I think it's important to move forward and not to think that we're "losing the past", for it will always be a part of us. If we stay where we are and don't make any changes, we could miss out on lots of great opportunities for growth and happiness. We should look forward to an exciting new chapter in our life. You are not alone, know that many people are feeling the same thing and, as you said, it is part of the process. Wishing you the very best with your move.
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Old 01-27-2016, 07:38 AM
 
Location: Brooklyn,NY
10,582 posts, read 13,046,495 times
Reputation: 16091
Quote:
Originally Posted by DoodlemomCoS View Post
I've lived in this town for 40 years. I married my husband here and our kiddos were born here. We are so happy with our move, it will provide better things for us in many ways. But as I was packing it hit me yesterday, we will only be here for a few more short weeks. I haven't even had time to think about this or really say goodbye to anyone. Since my husband works I'm the main purger and packer and I've been pretty consumed with that. I don't really have time for a tiny emotional meltdown but I'm feeling sad right now. I need to make sure the kids say goodbye to everyone in their activities, etc. Just part of the process I suppose.
Sounds totally normal. Home is always "home" I think, Even if we start elsewhere. Like the poster above those memories are always part of us. In the meantime, Maybe you can do some extra packing work one or two days to free up time to spend with friends or family who will remain? Or just take a walk and spend time in places in town you enjoyed going?

Also, If you are moving from NM to CO you are not super far away so a visit back when time permits should not be too difficult. Best of luck to you on a new chapter for you and family!
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Old 01-27-2016, 08:03 AM
 
1,824 posts, read 2,575,719 times
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Totally understand as I've also BTDT. After living in the same house for almost 34 years and raising two children there we did the same. Downsizing, packing, etc all takes time. I'm sure you've been taking pictures of stuff, or at least that's what I did as I got rid of things. I know it's busy time for you now but if you have enough pictures of your house, or even the area, you may want to look into making them into a book on one of the websites like ****terfly. I did that for our children, and myself. It's not perfect, but I feel I have one place that catalogs at least the high points of what happened over the years in that house. Be sure to carve out sometime to have a chance to say goodbye, maybe a happy hour at a local restaurant or something low key. Good luck in your new adventure.
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Old 01-27-2016, 09:27 AM
 
Location: New Orleans, LA
1,721 posts, read 3,115,150 times
Reputation: 2923
Change is tough! Still, without change (moving, in this case) we can't move on to better places and situations.

I think it helps to realize that others will enjoy the house we loved, and it's not like it's being demolished or anything like that. I moved last summer and it was really cool to discover that the buyers of my old home, were a young couple expecting a baby and this was their very first house ever. They were so thrilled with it and were so happy at closing, and maybe that house really IS a better fit for a young family than for one old lady like me. So, I felt I had left my house in good hands. I have plenty of photos of that house when I lived in it. But honestly, I have been so busy with my new home that I haven't looked at them lately.

What amazed me, and I hope this happens for you too, is that when I got settled in my new home, with my very favorite things around me, almost immediately it felt more like home than my prior home. Also, I sold my old home empty (after I moved out, and unstaged), and it seemed so lifeless and sterile. I began to realize that what really makes a home is the people in it, not the walls, flooring, and ceilings.

Moving is so psychologically and physically stressful and it hits each of us differently. But soon this move will be behind you and you can focus on your future and moving ahead as you have planned.

Overall, I'm glad I moved last summer although I am still recovering from the move itself. I hope you feel the same way in half a year.
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Old 01-27-2016, 12:53 PM
 
Location: southeast Wisconsin
161 posts, read 358,937 times
Reputation: 98
I went through a mini melt-down in 2014 when we moved out of Northwest Indiana to the north coast of California. I had lived in NW Indiana for 40 years. I wanted out. Unfortunately after spending some months here my hubby became allergic to the climate. Because of that and a multitude of other reasons, we are planning to move again. At least this time I am already downsized, so packing should be easier.

The thing I missed most from moving the first time....my mom's wooden mortar and pestle and the second pestle made from a wooden darning egg. It was a darning egg she used when I was a child. My dad sawed off the rounded end and sanded it smooth. When I was packing "everyone" said, "What do you want with that old thing? Donate it." Be very careful about "unimportant little things".
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Old 01-27-2016, 01:06 PM
 
Location: Florida
4,468 posts, read 3,854,824 times
Reputation: 9846
I hear you.


We sold our house much faster than we expected. There are people who we never said goodbye to and it does make me sad. But in the end we did what we had to.
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Old 01-28-2016, 06:46 AM
 
Location: Philaburbia
32,304 posts, read 59,450,764 times
Reputation: 53748
It's completely natural. I cried like a baby when I moved, even though I was leaving to live with my fiance and to take a new job.

There were friends I didn't say goodbye to as well, and I deeply regret it. But there are only so many hours in the day.

Good luck to you.
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Old 01-28-2016, 08:46 AM
 
Location: DFW/Texas
758 posts, read 683,668 times
Reputation: 2494
I went through the same thing, OP. I had lived in the same place for my entire life (34 years) and was trying to get out of it for years. When the opportunity finally came up for my DH and I to move 3 states away, we took it. It was a terribly emotional decision and was made knowing that while it would be incredibly sad to leave so much we knew and loved behind, it was going to provide the thing that we wanted most for our little family: security.

On the last night in our house, while our children were sleeping on air mattresses and our bags were by the front door, I just sat on our fireplace hearth and sobbed my heart out. I had gotten into a mini-fight with my DH, as we were stressed to the max, and I just needed to let a flood of emotion out that was 2 years in the making. My husband found me and just held on. It was one of the saddest moments in my life, saying goodbye to our life and that house. We didn't even own the house but we'd been there for 5 years and it was where we had brought our babies home and we'd started to raise them.

Saying goodbye to a part of your life is never easy. Don't ever be afraid to be sad about things that are changing in your life. Just let it happen. Good luck with your move
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