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Old 03-03-2016, 10:05 AM
 
676 posts, read 741,263 times
Reputation: 403

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My husband and I have been searching for property in Fl for about a year now. FHA is so picky and owners were not willing to repair. I put an offer on a property and now am getting the shakes again. Spent over 400.00 for the last inspection and the well and septic were too close to one another. Money gone. Now I will pay for an new inspection. Hope this time it passes. However, not my immediate problem. I have been wishing for this for some time now and it may be coming true for me and my DH. I am very nervous about the thought of picking up and moving 800 miles away. There is no one to help me drive down with a U Haul. My husband has mild Dementia and cannot drive. It is the fear of the unknown, what if, what if. I wish I could see the bright side of things but one minute I am ready to go , can't wait and the next I am shaking. Anyone have the thought of moving meltdown even you know it is the best thing to do ? I am afraid of "cutting the cord" so to speak from familiar place to new place even we know the area very well. Thank you for any input or experiences.
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Old 03-03-2016, 10:17 PM
 
Location: New Orleans, LA
1,725 posts, read 3,123,342 times
Reputation: 2928
Quote:
Originally Posted by tarajane2013 View Post
My husband and I have been searching for property in Fl for about a year now. FHA is so picky and owners were not willing to repair. I put an offer on a property and now am getting the shakes again. Spent over 400.00 for the last inspection and the well and septic were too close to one another. Money gone. Now I will pay for an new inspection. Hope this time it passes. However, not my immediate problem. I have been wishing for this for some time now and it may be coming true for me and my DH. I am very nervous about the thought of picking up and moving 800 miles away. There is no one to help me drive down with a U Haul. My husband has mild Dementia and cannot drive. It is the fear of the unknown, what if, what if. I wish I could see the bright side of things but one minute I am ready to go , can't wait and the next I am shaking. Anyone have the thought of moving meltdown even you know it is the best thing to do ? I am afraid of "cutting the cord" so to speak from familiar place to new place even we know the area very well. Thank you for any input or experiences.
Tarajane, I can't even imagine how stressful it would be to move with a spouse that has dementia, mild or not.

I don't think I could do it! Well, not alone in a uhaul, anyway. I wonder if you could get a friend or relative to go with you, to help.

In any case, good luck and I hope it turns out all right.
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Old 03-04-2016, 08:40 AM
 
4,787 posts, read 9,244,776 times
Reputation: 12632
TaraJane do you really want to move ?. Dementia never gets better- it only gets worse. At some point in time, we don't know when, could be sooner, could be later, your husband will have to be in a care facility.

What will you do then ? Can you financially carry a house on your own ? Your husband's income will have to go toward his care and medical expenses.
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Old 03-04-2016, 12:07 PM
 
Location: Prescott AZ
6,096 posts, read 9,014,686 times
Reputation: 11450
Oh enough already !
Tara you can do anything you set your mind to. You just need to talk to yourself and build some confidence. Anytime those wiggly little doubts come intruding in, just say "DELETE" to yourself, or outloud, and go back to the exciting things you know you want to do. It's an adventure and will turn out to be good if you think it will.
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Old 03-04-2016, 10:54 PM
 
Location: Tennessee at last!
1,886 posts, read 2,010,070 times
Reputation: 3790
Tell the realtor that you are using that you will be getting an FHA loan, and can the realtor please per-check the home to point out anything that will not meet the requirements.

Decent realtors know the rules for various programs and should be able to show you homes that will qualify under that program.

And just take one day at a time, make a list of what you need to do for each day/week/month and just keep going.

Things will get better, find and use a support system, even adult day care for your husband can be a life saver when you need a break!
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Old 03-05-2016, 08:55 AM
 
676 posts, read 741,263 times
Reputation: 403
Default Fl

Thank you so much for the advice. Wow, I wish you could come with us, you are so uplifting.......!
How did you get so wise???? Tell me please !



Quote:
Originally Posted by PhxBarb View Post
Oh enough already !
Tara you can do anything you set your mind to. You just need to talk to yourself and build some confidence. Anytime those wiggly little doubts come intruding in, just say "DELETE" to yourself, or outloud, and go back to the exciting things you know you want to do. It's an adventure and will turn out to be good if you think it will.
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Old 03-05-2016, 12:14 PM
 
676 posts, read 741,263 times
Reputation: 403
Default Realto

I do have a really good realtor and lender. My lender and realtor are going out Monday to pre-inspect the house and see if she would be happy there. She knows what I like and if there is any question she will tell me she would not live there and that is good enough for me. She has done this before and turned one down for me. I am really lucky. Thank you for the advice.




Quote:
Originally Posted by lae60 View Post
Tell the realtor that you are using that you will be getting an FHA loan, and can the realtor please per-check the home to point out anything that will not meet the requirements.

Decent realtors know the rules for various programs and should be able to show you homes that will qualify under that program.

And just take one day at a time, make a list of what you need to do for each day/week/month and just keep going.

Things will get better, find and use a support system, even adult day care for your husband can be a life saver when you need a break!
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Old 03-10-2016, 06:52 AM
 
676 posts, read 741,263 times
Reputation: 403
Update. .my lender AND realtor went to see the property and my lender said it is beautiful and she would live there ! I totally can go by her word. I have pictures of the house in detail. She said there should be no reason for FHA to deny. I am so excited and at the same time very nervous and have many worries but as someone said, take one day at a time but it is so hard to do not to get in the "what if" mode....Thank you for your support. My husband is very excited as well. He has very Mild Dementia right now so I know the time is right and he really seems tickled.
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