Sense of being "lost" vs "at home" when you move away vs stay in familiar area for life.

[Rocky Rose]

I'm moving in a few weeks, and I'm tired of where I grew up. All the familiarity is lost because I've felt like I haven't belonged here since last year.

I also want to travel beyond that though. Staying in one place sounds boring to me.

[A1eutian]

Raised in a military family and after that have lived in 5 states since 2004. I survive by doing mid to low level contract finance jobs. There are a lot of these types of positions available all over the US so jobs can be found pretty quickly.

I value experience over material wealth, but am not against having money. Moving every 4-5 years on average gets expensive. You start getting rid of anything that takes up space or weight. Right now I have the bare essentials of life fitting in mid-sized sedan. Not much, but it still seems heavier than it needs to be.

There is great appeal for most people to have a house and dreams of a secure financial future. I do envy people who have stable lives. My dreams of retirement would be to spend the last 5-7 years growing vegetables in a warm place and having some dogs. That's it!

[fallingwater]

I can totally relate.

I always wanted to move from where I grew up. I married young and my husband was more of a homie to the area we lived. We did move several times but stayed in the same general area. I feel that I kept thinking if we tried moving to another city it would be better since I knew my husband was so opposed to leaving the state. I really enjoy the adventure of a new home and new place. Finally got my husband to think about leaving the state all together when he realized he wasn't going anywhere in his career. Turned out he took a job in a place I never would have thought of and honestly did want to move to. It did turn out to be good deal for us. The low COL enabled us to live a lifestyle that wouldn't have happened in our home state due to the high COL living there.

Now I am itching to move again. The company he works for is experiencing problems and the solid future we thought we would have is becoming questionable. Having that security is what made this move worthwhile. Now that my child has gotten through school and thinking about building his own life, I have become incredibly homesick these past few months. A part of me wants to move "home" but I know it won't be the same. Family drove me nuts but I miss just calling up my sister or mother and going to Target or whatever. Someone to hang out with. Making friends in my current local never happened. I work from home so that isolates me even more but also gives me the opportunity to live anywhere I want in the U.S. as long as there is a high speed internet. I get a little sting of jealously when I see people from high school on Facebook that are still friends and have shared so much of their lives and milestones together. Or when family posts photos of things they have done together. Then I have that adventurous side that puts me on city data late at night reading posts from the states section dreaming of a new place. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever have that truly settled feeling.

[Eeko156]

Interesting thread. I am a nester. I wish I had a more adventurous spirit, but I do not. When I had to sell my childhood home and move to a new city - well, let's just say I am very depressed and I have been here for a few months now.

I wish I had a gypsy spirit - I don't feel emotional attachment to a house or city is healthy. Your life can change so quickly.

[c983c]

I have been feeling the same way. I live in NYC. I have been here my whole life. There's got to be more to life than this. I just don't know where to go. There's nothing holding me back here.

[Berrie143]

When I was a teenager I discovered something about myself: I wasn't meant to stay in the same smaller city (65K while I was growing up, 75K when I left) forever. I didn't have wanderlust, per say, but I just knew that I didn't want to be in that place forever and that there was someplace else I was meant to be. Telling people how I felt wasn't an option, as the vast majority of people I knew were either too scared to leave what they knew or they actually wanted to stay. The only person I shared my feelings with was my husband and he shared them.

I always dreamed of being in the South and being on the East Coast. The books I read were about these places, the movies I loved the most were set in these places. I know, I know, you can't get a realistic picture of what a place is really like from books and movies but I was still inspired.

The older I got and the more un-affordable, caustic and self-absorbed CA got, the need to leave kept getting stronger. Texas had been on my radar for years and years and my DH and I finally got the courage up to leave everything we knew and everyone we loved, behind, and moved to TX last year. Some still say that it was a crazy move and how could we stand being away from our families??? All I think when asked that is this: being away from the enmeshment? From the holidays filled with stress? From the boundary-pushing and crazy behavior? What's that like??

It's freaking great!

Seriously, for us, moving was what saved our sanity and that trickled down into our marriage and our family life. For us, it was the right move, no matter what some of our family believes.