U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > General Moving Issues
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 08-21-2016, 10:21 PM
 
1 posts, read 681 times
Reputation: 10

Advertisements

Hi first time posting anything like this but I've been so depressed lately I don't really know what to do. So the thing is I'm 26 and I just moved for the first time ever, I grew up in NH and had always wanted to see more of the u.s. And the world so when I had the chance to go stay with a friend I decided why not, only I've been down here for three months now and for the past few weeks have been absolutely miserable.
I'm currently living on the TN/VA border, am working at a job I hate ( and a company I've worked for before and left because I hated it) and while living with my friend is fine I should point out that she and now me, lives with her grandparents and mom. And while they are nice I feel suffocated by them. I have yet to make any friends down here and honestly I just really miss all my friends back home the thing is I feel like if I go now I'm giving up. I was hoping to make it at least 6 months but the way I'm feeling lately I want to pack up my car and drive north as soon as I can.
Do you think how I'm feeling will pass and I just need more time to adjust or would I know by now if this was a good fit for me?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 08-21-2016, 11:05 PM
 
Location: Des Moines Metro
5,040 posts, read 5,934,403 times
Reputation: 9417
Here's what I'm getting from your post:

1. You've been down there for 3 months.
2. You hate your job (and you had a similar one for the same company, which you previously quit).
3. You haven't made any friends (and feel lonely).
4. You feel suffocated by your friend's mom and grandmother.

OP, I think that #2 is your largest problem right now. Can you find another position in the area? Is this something that you will want to do? If not, can you keep working where you are now and go to a community college for a certificate or other training for something better? Maybe work during the day and take one or two evening classes?

Be sure there are jobs available in whatever you are studying if you go back to school. Be sure the job pays a salary you can live on. For example, it is silly to spend $30,000 on a degree in early childhood education when those positions barely pay minimum wage.

If you go back to school, you will meet a lot of new people. Also, you will be busy studying and going to classes, and won't have as much time to feel suffocated by the rest of your friend's family.

As for #1, 3 months isn't long enough, especially since you really hate your job. If you had a job that you liked and some more friends, would you want to stay?

I would suggest getting another job and trying it for at least another 3 - 6 months. After that, if it's just not working out, you might consider going home. But I think your experience is being colored by these other aspects at the moment and that "Home" wouldn't be a lot better because a lot of your friends are moving on with their lives, and the real problem may be that the jobs you are getting with your present skills are boring.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-22-2016, 03:03 AM
Status: "On The Lookout" (set 11 days ago)
 
Location: The Triad (NC)
28,359 posts, read 61,582,221 times
Reputation: 31880
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kray329 View Post
I'm 26 and I just moved for the first time ever,
I've been down here for three months ...on the TN/VA border,
am working at a job I hate
living with my friend she and now me, lives with her grandparents and mom.

I have yet to make any friends down here
miss all my friends back home

I was hoping to make it at least 6 months but the way I'm feeling
Do you think how I'm feeling will pass
Nope.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-22-2016, 03:51 AM
 
5,407 posts, read 2,880,754 times
Reputation: 24235
It is hard to say. It takes time to get adjusted to a new place. I commend you for trying it.

I think the part of feeling suffocated is a red flag. You might not be allowing yourself to be open to making new friends because you are hooked in living with "her".

Working at a job you hate is never a good thing either.

TN/VA border and NH are totally different worlds. I would think that would be a hard one to adjust to--for me I have always been a Northeast woman, putting me more South would not be good for me. Missing friends back home is normal.

I don't know you at all--but some how I feel if you would have moved to NY, CO, CA --places like that you may have given yourself a better chance of embracing a new place to live. NY, CO, CA, places like that are more trendy, upbeat, modern. Nothing wrong with TN/VA border--but I would think that is an entire different feel to what you are used to. I am not feeling that your feeling will pass. Unless you were really looking for a city like this I don't think it is a good fit. Again, I don't know you and not sure what you were looking for.
Seeing more of the USA is one thing, picking a place to live is another.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-22-2016, 05:18 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas, NV
57 posts, read 45,131 times
Reputation: 80
You're feeling trapped. I have a feeling, as someone else said, that if you had a different job and made some friends, you may feel differently. But maybe not. I grew up in MA and would sell my soul to get back there, but it's not in the cards with expenses. I'll make do because I have a husband and son and have no other choice. Good on you for trying to see more of the US, but try and get a place of your own or with your friend where you're not feeling suffocated. Look for another job and see what happens. Good luck. I wish you the best. Do it now before you're tied down.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-22-2016, 09:36 PM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
4,925 posts, read 3,401,234 times
Reputation: 10350
It may be time for you to go home. Then maybe later dwn the line you can visit a place before making a drastic move.

Good luck to you. By the way, if you feel you have to explain why you moved back just say, wrong place, wrong time.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-22-2016, 10:14 PM
 
4,787 posts, read 9,223,006 times
Reputation: 12627
I think it's time for you to go home.

None of this right now is a good fit. You took a job you hate with a company you quit once before. You live with too many other people and have no independence. At 26 you have no need to be living with friend's parents & grandparents.

I would suggest you go home and regroup. Figure out what you want to do career wise. Take classes, etc.
Wages are low in NE TN, so figure out where in the country you can live with your employment.

Save as much money as you can while you're at home. When you move again, try to do so by renting a small apartment, even a studio by yourself. If you feel you need a room mate make sure it is just one person and it's an apartment. Try to move somewhere with good wages and good job prospects.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-22-2016, 11:26 PM
 
358 posts, read 587,547 times
Reputation: 539
You're 26?

It sounds like you're homesick at camp.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-25-2016, 04:49 PM
 
1,362 posts, read 1,096,943 times
Reputation: 2151
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kray329 View Post
Hi first time posting anything like this but I've been so depressed lately I don't really know what to do. So the thing is I'm 26 and I just moved for the first time ever, I grew up in NH and had always wanted to see more of the u.s. And the world so when I had the chance to go stay with a friend I decided why not, only I've been down here for three months now and for the past few weeks have been absolutely miserable.
I'm currently living on the TN/VA border, am working at a job I hate ( and a company I've worked for before and left because I hated it) and while living with my friend is fine I should point out that she and now me, lives with her grandparents and mom. And while they are nice I feel suffocated by them. I have yet to make any friends down here and honestly I just really miss all my friends back home the thing is I feel like if I go now I'm giving up. I was hoping to make it at least 6 months but the way I'm feeling lately I want to pack up my car and drive north as soon as I can.
Do you think how I'm feeling will pass and I just need more time to adjust or would I know by now if this was a good fit for me?
Nope it won't pass. And Im speaking from experience with this same issue. I relocated for a job once and knew within 2 weeks that I hated both - the city and the job. I quit after 7 months and relocated back where I'd come from. Wasted 7 months of my life because as I said, I knew after 2 weeks in. Why wait six months when you know now? You're not a quitter, you just know what you want. Go home. Or someplace else other than where you are now.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-25-2016, 05:48 PM
 
Location: Lakeland, Florida
6,943 posts, read 12,410,218 times
Reputation: 8588
I'd also recommend going home at this point. If you were in a financial position to move, and try another location. Then I would say go for it. However it sounds like that is not the case. You are not happy in your situation, so why continue in it. Go home and regroup if that is possible. Your young you need to rethink what is best for you. Chalk this experience up to a learning one.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > General Moving Issues
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. | Please obey Forum Rules | Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top