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Thanks everyone for all the suggestions.
So much information here to digest and think about.
There really is no reason to move If I'm being honest.
It is a really great (we think) job opportunity for us to explore that is being offered.
It's one of those offers that many would say this is a no brainer, majority would say I'm going to the west coast.
And the job relocation is to sunny California to boot.
I can have palm trees in my front yard, what's not to like about that.
I mean it's not like they are saying job offer in Alaska or one cold location for another cold location, LOL.
Fear of the unknown is what is putting doubt in our heads.
Fear of leaving our families behind going to another state where we know no one.
Fear of being by ourselves with no one to lean on.
Fear of our kids not adjusting.
We know adjusting won't happen over night.
We know adjusting will take months for all of us.
We just don't want to regret this possible move because we were blinded by the
$$$ and great weather and didn't pay attention to the minor details.
Have you ever visited the location where the potential new job is? I don't mean as a vacation. I mean as a place to live. Vacationing and living are 2 entirely different things.
Of course our kids will not decide if relocate or not.
That's something my wife and I will have to decide once we have put more thought into this.
But as parents, you feel guilty because the kids are resisting.
Either way, we just want to make sure we have really thought this through.
I asked this question here to see if there was something, anything that we hadn't thought about it.
Last thing we want to do relocate and then kick ourselves because something comes up and we both
say we never thought about that.
We moved almost 2 hours away this past May. We literally moved the weekend after our kids were out of school. They are 10 and 8. Of course they were against it and didn't want to leave their friends. Up to that point they have only been in one school (besides preschool). As the move got closer I felt bad we were ripping their worlds apart, but for our family it was for the best. I think it was easier that we moved in the summer. It gave them time to adjust and they started the new school year fresh in the fall. When we moved in we painted their bedrooms and unpacked the kids stuff first. We got them involved in activities and walked around the neighborhood a lot to meet our neighbors and their kids. We have now been in our new home for 6 months and the kids LOVE it here! They love their new schools, have made lots of friends and like their new home.
Bottom line, you are the parent and you need to do what's best for your family. If a new job or promotion is going to be best for your family and career, then you relocate! Kids will adapt. Not to mention the friends they have now will probably won't be the same friends 2 years from now. I asked my children just a week ago how they like their new schools and they love it! Your children will be fine!
On a side note, we also moved from Chicago (moved to Indiana). Illinois is a fiscal mess. Things to also consider though is the cost of living there. Have you looked online www.Realtor.com to check what homes cost to purchase or rent? Property taxes? I'm sure the taxes have to be less as Illinois is ranked #1 in having the highest property taxes, but make sure your pay would make sense in regards to housing.
Last edited by CGab; 11-30-2016 at 07:25 AM..
Reason: add
First of all, we didn't ask our children's opinion. We just moved.
As in your case, we moved for good reason. We explained that. And they understood.
Yes, we left extended family behind. They didn't follow us. But OUR FAMILY was moving.
They adjusted very well. I would say it took one about two months. The other about a year.
My best advice is this - the bigger production you make about of it, the more anguish and emotion that you pour into this - the more emotion, anger and resistance you will receive.
If you feel guilty about it, they will feel off your guilt and it will emerge as sadness and possibly acting out behavior. Don't feel or act guilty - you will make this into a traumatic event, when it's just a normal part of life. Something that you are experiencing as a family.
Families move all the time! Many parents are transferred from one place to another - and kids go along with them. I happen to think that one significant move during childhood is probably desirable.
My children lived through three. Two were out of state.
They lived. And I think they are better for it.
We have no regrets or apologizes. Nor any desire to move back.
What advice would you give to other families faced with a relocation dilemma ?
If the move is positive, giving your family more stability financially, with better education, then I would consider it. Keep in mind that California is extremely expensive. Your cost of living is going to go way up, so don't get blinded by a raise that might be considered a windfall for you where you live right now. I would definitely make sure I'd be able to also afford plane rides for the kids to go back to see the Grands at least twice a year as part of my plan.
However, if the family isn't really gaining anything out of it other than sunshine, then I wouldn't do it.
In either case, I am the parent and I wouldn't allow my kids to dictate to me. Of course, I take their needs into consideration, but I would never give them that much control. They would not be the final say in my decision.
I would think most kids would love to be out of Chicago and living in San Diego. I agree with the posters that said they are young enough to make a new start but what about you? Are you going to miss the familiar things from Chicago? Family and Friends?
Take the grandparents with you. Grandparents love San Diego. It never gets cold there, and never very hot. Grandparents are more affected by weather than younger people are, so they need it more. The only real problem with San Diego is the cost of living. But if you can afford it, it's a very nice place to live. Especially if you live near the ocean.
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But OUR FAMILY was moving. 
