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Forty-nine years ago, we had to move because the job moved. We had three teens and a three year old. One of the teens, (the eldest) was very resentful, didn't want to move, planned to return "home" as soon as he was 18. Too bad. I wasn't feeling guilty.
We moved and the kids soon met new friends and adapted to the change.
Today, they still live in the area, except for the eldest. He lives an hour away, (he moved for his job) but never returned "home" as he swore he would.
We moved almost 5 years ago with a 3 and 6 year old from the North East to TX.
Moved for work and it's been great experience, new adventures and new friends. It has given us a chance to see more of the USA than we would have on just vacations
Kids adapted although they were young and pretty portable.
Toughest on the grandparents.
Now work is offering a move to Europe...we are considering doing a two year stint if the $ make sense.
Adventure!
Hell you can always move back if it all goes badly.
We moved when I was 10 from a heavily populated part of New England to a very sparse, rural area of Northern New England.
At first I was a bit excited about the change but once there I began hating the place and to this day I really do not like where I grew up. The weather was a huge factor as was the isolation. I moved back to the larger populated area of NE when I turned 18.
However, I was 10. I was not consulted about the move and nor should I have been. The move was important for my mother. To this day I am very grateful to have seen this part of New England, taken part in agricultural work ( grateful now - not back then! ), seen how farms work and so on. I met some amazing, interesting people there.
But you have an opportunity to move to one of the nicest cities in the United States! I would jump on that chance.
California is a fantastic place to live. I've a number of friends who moved from New England to Southern California and while they come back for a visit every so often moving back here is never going to happen. They love California.
I think your kids will get over it in short order. Who knows, maybe a visiting Grandparent or two might decide to move out there too after seeing how beautiful it is.
I have been to both cities a number of times and enjoyed my visits. But if I had to make a choice between the two for living it would be San Diego without question.
Average high / low temp for Chicago in January 31 / 17
Average high / lo temp for San Diego in January 65 / 49
We moved almost 5 years ago with a 3 and 6 year old from the North East to TX.
Moved for work and it's been great experience, new adventures and new friends. It has given us a chance to see more of the USA than we would have on just vacations
Kids adapted although they were young and pretty portable.
Toughest on the grandparents.
Now work is offering a move to Europe...we are considering doing a two year stint if the $ make sense.
Adventure!
Hell you can always move back if it all goes badly.
That move to Europe sounds exciting. Hope it works out and you have a great adventure!
Before the recession a friend of mine in a very good job in the financial sector was given the chance for a massive promotion and a job in Hong Kong. Huge income increase included.
But the wife is from NE, they have teen aged kids and really didn't want to go. So, he gave in and turned it done. Was not happy about it at all.
FF to the recession hitting and this guy is out of a job. He still does not have a position close to anything that he once held. He is certain his job in HK would not have been eliminated by the recession...not happy at all to this day.
My brother was 11, my sister 7 and I was 12 when my parents uprooted us from the only home any of us could remember in Toronto Ontario and moved us to Whitehorse, Yukon. What an adventure. Best thing my parents ever did for us (or themselves) in our/their lives. We drove up and that was a journey and a half itself (took several weeks, camping all the way, going through both the US and Canada) - but, we all fell in love with it in no time and I think even my parents (were they still around to tell you) would say we all adjusted very well indeed.
We had a huge neighbourhood picnic the day before we departed and everyone said their teary goodbyes - and I do remember writing to my best friend (snail mail only in those days) a few times and she to me but horrible as it is to say, I soon had new friends and the 'old world' rapidly faded from importance in our lives.
In Toronto we were only a day's drive from my mother's parents (my grandparents) and cousins/aunt/uncle in the NYC area so we did miss seeing them of course but everyone survived.
Your family may be different but I think in general most kids adjust (particularly if they like adventures and you don't act as though this is a calamity around them - just be matter of fact - this is life - you will love it there - here is what we can do if we move there, etc.) quite well and they will benefit from a good move for the rest of their lives most likely.
I lived all over the world. We went where the job went. No debate.
When your kids are grown up and supporting themselves, they can live where they want to live. Their choice. Today it's your choice. Go where you want to go!
Sometimes you just have to be parents and say, "We're moving. Deal with it."
It really isn't their decision to make at this point. If they were seniors in high school, I could see letting them have more of a say, but at their age, it's your call, not theirs.
I think it is wonderful you are giving a lot of weight to how your children may handle the move. We made two major moves with our children. In the first move, our children were all under the age of eight, and it had its pluses and minuses. Two of our children adjusted quickly. Our middle child took two years though to really be happy and fully comfortable with her new home.
In our most recent move a couple of years ago, our children were all older than eight. This second move has been much harder. The problem with moving is the unknown. We did as much research as possible, but I'm not entirely happy with our school choice here even though we supposedly are in an area with strong schools. One of our kids in particular had a hard time making friends when we arrived here, and they have all had some bad teachers. Some of the after school activity choices here haven't been as strong either, and generally our kids are on electronics more since they no longer have good friends next door like they did in their old neighborhood. Overall, I think the move definitely has had its share of challenges for our kids.
The job market where we live now is better than where we used to live, but sometimes I do wonder in what ways our move has affected our kids' future. They have adjusted as kids tend to do, but I do think it is important to remember that the grass is not always greener on the other side. I enjoyed moving to new places when I was single, but I didn't really enjoy our last move because it was hard to watch our kids say goodbye to their friends and then struggle in their new environment. However, there have been advantages. The biggest for us is that we now live closer to family, and I'm sure all families that move find some advantages to their change. Good luck with your decision!
Location: In a rural place where people can't bother me ;)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jedi5
Have an opportunity to possibly relocate from Chicago to San Diego.
While my wife and I entertain the idea, our kids are completely against it.
The move is work related. We can say no to the offer and nothing happens.
So it's not like we have to move or else we are out of a job.
We say no, keep our jobs in cold windy Chicago and think of palm trees and warm weather.
Our kids are 10 and 11.
Still sorta young. They'd be leaving all our family behind.
They don't want to move and leave the grandparents behind.
I don't blame them, they are close to them.
Once the novelty and newness wears off, reality kicks in...
You aren't on a vacation and going back home after a week.
So we are really trying to think thing out over here.
We want to make sure we really thought this possible move through.
question to you parents who have done this before is...
How did go with your kids and relocating to another part of the country?
Did you leave family behind?
Did your kids adjust?
How long did it take for them to adjust?
Was it a bust and you had to move back?
What would you have done differently?
What advice would you give to other families faced with a relocation dilemma ?
Did you regret the move and wished you never did it?
Ask your kids if they can afford to stay in Chi town on their own. When they answer you, remind them that your the parents and that when they are all growed up and make their own money, they can make big decisions like you can. Until then, their kind of at the mercy of you and wife.
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