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Old 03-22-2017, 03:15 PM
 
Location: Alabama!
5,844 posts, read 15,901,573 times
Reputation: 4322

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While you may have made $18,000 more in NYC, your cost of living is probably much less in Florida.

I always say to give a place a year, and then decide. It takes that long to settle in and find your favorite grocery store, dry cleaners, bookstore, movie theatre etc. Don't be a snob - look around and see what's available to you rather than concentrating on what you left.

Aftera year, if you still hate it, go back. As many have said, life is too short to be miserable!
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Old 03-22-2017, 03:24 PM
Status: "Stranger than Fiction" (set 15 days ago)
 
8,551 posts, read 10,768,083 times
Reputation: 12533
Quote:
Originally Posted by tf2014 View Post
Moved to South Florida from the NYC area last summer to move in with boyfriend. I'm a teacher, and teachers make horrible money down here (seriously, like $18K less a year than my last job), and the conditions are pretty awful from what I have seen. I love my BF, but I hate Florida. I'm far from my kids (grown), friends and family. I'm barely making ends meet. I'm bored with the landscape, the lack of interesting things (to me) to do. Homesick? Probably. But I hate getting up every day knowing I'm still here, and I have no money to even go visit anyone in my family or any of my friends.

I know people say, "give it time", but how much time is one required to give it when you're miserable every day? For the record, if it weren't for the BF I would NEVER have moved to this state. We're here because he owns I house and I was renting where I was. I thought I would give it a shot, I thought there would be SOMETHING I liked, but I've gained weight, I'm drinking more than ever, I can't sleep...Again, how much time am I supposed to feel like this?


I hated Florida w/ a passion, too, when I lived there. One day, I met my husband in the driveway and told him I was leaving. Told him "you can come or stay, but I'm going"! And, he came w/ me.
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Old 03-22-2017, 04:07 PM
 
312 posts, read 339,605 times
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Seriously... get off the pity party boat and make changes for YOURSELF.

Are you just there for a guy? If you are not committed to him, pack it up and GO.

OR give it an all in 100% college try and no more complaining. Just try and find something good every day in your day. 18K less? Awwww.... BUT YOU HAVE A JOB !!! That is huge. Do you have a car? You woke up today? You don't have a terminal disease, right? Find anything positive and focus on it.

Ummm the booze is not helping here, just saying... I have moved around a lot - overseas and in the U.S. It takes at least a year - 18 Months of really making an effort to get readjusted to a new place.

NY will still be there in a year, so will your kids.
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Old 03-22-2017, 04:36 PM
 
Location: Boston
277 posts, read 203,828 times
Reputation: 755
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanny Goat View Post
I hated Florida w/ a passion, too, when I lived there. One day, I met my husband in the driveway and told him I was leaving. Told him "you can come or stay, but I'm going"! And, he came w/ me.
I'm curious why you hated living in Florida. I live in New England and hate the cold weather with a passion. If you are lucky it will warm up around here some time in May.

Is it really that bad down there?

I have two relatives who live in St. Augustine who are very happy. They'll never move back to Massachusetts.
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Old 03-22-2017, 04:42 PM
 
Location: Kansas
19,187 posts, read 14,944,669 times
Reputation: 18248
Quote:
Originally Posted by SOON2BNSURPRISE View Post
I guess you need to decide it the boy friend or the place is more important to you. Last I checked they still make boy friends in other areas, girl friends too.
This ^^^.

It takes about two years to really know if a place is a winner or not.

Perhaps you realize you are giving up more than you are getting with the boyfriend. He could move if he wanted to be with you. Could you go home for a couple weeks or a month? I think that would help you make the decision. When someone is homesick, they often remember things to be much better than they really were. There are reasons you chose to leave, review those.
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Old 03-22-2017, 05:05 PM
 
5,423 posts, read 2,892,270 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shooting Stars View Post
Well, Florida is not a monolith. Some places are more cultural than others. Sarasota, for instance, is more cultural. Of course, it depends on what you're comparing it to.
NYC, Boston, Chicago, LA, Washington DC, to name a few.

I have several cousins living in Florida, different parts. I just couldn't do it.

The OP is from NYC area and bored with the landscape and lack of things to do and misses being around friends and family. It is a drastic change living in Florida. I can understand the OP.
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Old 03-22-2017, 08:18 PM
 
Location: WA
878 posts, read 464,891 times
Reputation: 2681
You should give a new place about a year before deciding if it's for you or not. Go through a full year of seasons. Same thing with a new job.
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Old 03-22-2017, 10:39 PM
 
Location: NW Oregon
391 posts, read 231,771 times
Reputation: 1239
I would move to where you want to be. Nothing is worse being miserable for the sake of another person. You will end up resenting them in the end.
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Old 03-23-2017, 03:40 AM
 
Location: Canada
5,701 posts, read 4,119,924 times
Reputation: 15286
Quote:
Originally Posted by tf2014 View Post
Moved to South Florida from the NYC area last summer to move in with boyfriend. I'm a teacher, and teachers make horrible money down here (seriously, like $18K less a year than my last job), and the conditions are pretty awful from what I have seen. I love my BF, but I hate Florida. I'm far from my kids (grown), friends and family. I'm barely making ends meet. I'm bored with the landscape, the lack of interesting things (to me) to do. Homesick? Probably. But I hate getting up every day knowing I'm still here, and I have no money to even go visit anyone in my family or any of my friends.

I know people say, "give it time", but how much time is one required to give it when you're miserable every day? For the record, if it weren't for the BF I would NEVER have moved to this state. We're here because he owns I house and I was renting where I was. I thought I would give it a shot, I thought there would be SOMETHING I liked, but I've gained weight, I'm drinking more than ever, I can't sleep...Again, how much time am I supposed to feel like this?
There isn't any simple solution. You have a decision to make: Boyfriend OR move back to NY.

The house and income are secondary IMO.
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Old 03-23-2017, 07:43 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
10,204 posts, read 4,779,668 times
Reputation: 21511
I noticed the OP never mentioned how she feels about the boyfriend. Perhaps things aren't going well with him so that plus her hatred of Florida is making her feel very overwhelmed? Perhaps she is living in some tiny town like Muse where there is nothing to do? Big culture shock from the NE.


Florida is definitely an acquired taste. I've been back since 1999 and it's only been the last two years that I have started liking it here.


She hasn't been back but like was mentioned, she has to make the decision. She should list the pros & cons and make up her mind what is most important to her.
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