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Old 03-21-2017, 07:28 AM
 
134 posts, read 123,963 times
Reputation: 187

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Moved to South Florida from the NYC area last summer to move in with boyfriend. I'm a teacher, and teachers make horrible money down here (seriously, like $18K less a year than my last job), and the conditions are pretty awful from what I have seen. I love my BF, but I hate Florida. I'm far from my kids (grown), friends and family. I'm barely making ends meet. I'm bored with the landscape, the lack of interesting things (to me) to do. Homesick? Probably. But I hate getting up every day knowing I'm still here, and I have no money to even go visit anyone in my family or any of my friends.

I know people say, "give it time", but how much time is one required to give it when you're miserable every day? For the record, if it weren't for the BF I would NEVER have moved to this state. We're here because he owns I house and I was renting where I was. I thought I would give it a shot, I thought there would be SOMETHING I liked, but I've gained weight, I'm drinking more than ever, I can't sleep...Again, how much time am I supposed to feel like this?
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Old 03-21-2017, 07:30 AM
 
Location: Florida
22,092 posts, read 9,386,958 times
Reputation: 18038
Quote:
Originally Posted by tf2014 View Post
Moved to South Florida from the NYC area last summer to move in with boyfriend. I'm a teacher, and teachers make horrible money down here (seriously, like $18K less a year than my last job), and the conditions are pretty awful from what I have seen. I love my BF, but I hate Florida. I'm far from my kids (grown), friends and family. I'm barely making ends meet. I'm bored with the landscape, the lack of interesting things (to me) to do. Homesick? Probably. But I hate getting up every day knowing I'm still here, and I have no money to even go visit anyone in my family or any of my friends.

I know people say, "give it time", but how much time is one required to give it when you're miserable every day? For the record, if it weren't for the BF I would NEVER have moved to this state. We're here because he owns I house and I was renting where I was. I thought I would give it a shot, I thought there would be SOMETHING I liked, but I've gained weight, I'm drinking more than ever, I can't sleep...Again, how much time am I supposed to feel like this?
Nothing personal, but you appear to allow others to make all your decisions, including a forum full of total strangers.

Why don't you decide?
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Old 03-21-2017, 07:35 AM
Status: "Harlan Ogilvy was right!" (set 11 days ago)
 
Location: Bel Air, California
21,266 posts, read 21,770,741 times
Reputation: 33368
are you at all interested in hunting alligators or giant snakes?
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Old 03-21-2017, 07:37 AM
Status: "On The Lookout" (set 23 days ago)
 
Location: The Triad (NC)
28,397 posts, read 61,782,091 times
Reputation: 31955
Quote:
Originally Posted by tf2014 View Post
Moved to South Florida from the NYC area last summer to move in with boyfriend.
I'm a teacher...
How long? End of the school term seems about right.
Start planning where you want to go.
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Old 03-21-2017, 08:46 AM
 
Location: Living on the Coast in Oxnard CA
15,691 posts, read 26,668,043 times
Reputation: 20267
So you make $18,000 less in Florida. OK that would be a negative for me as well.

You also paid rent in NYC and you say that your BF owns a home so you don't pay rent in Florida. I have heard that it cost a lot of money to rent a place in NYC. If it is like where I live in California a small one bedroom place can set you back at least $1,200 a month. That would be a savings of $14,400 a month. When you consider the income tax on that extra $18,000 I am betting that just not having to pay rent is saving you money. So the less money thing is kind of a wash, don't you think?

I am betting that you paid more than $1,200 for rent each month.

So lets figure this out. If you make less money but you have less expenses then how is it that you have less money? Your extra money, pre tax is just a little more than your expenses after tax. So that $18,000 is not really $18,000 take home but that savings is savings that you can take to the bank. well, since you are covering the $18,000 pre tax that you are missing, you should at least come out even.

If we look at your life in NYC and your life in Florida, I would want to know what changed. Are you spending more money to live in Florida? From what I hear it is a lot cheaper to live in Florida than it is in NYC. I looked at a cost of living calculator and found that you can live a lot cheaper anywhere in Florida than either Manhattan or Brooklyn. In fact with a $60,000 income in the NYC area you would only need $38,000 in any major city in Florida.
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Old 03-21-2017, 10:59 AM
 
134 posts, read 123,963 times
Reputation: 187
While Florida is cheaper in some aspects of daily living, in most it's not, at least in this area. I didn't live in NYC, I lived in the area, and actually, my housing cost was pretty cheap. I was foolish to believe those cost of living calculators, which is partly how I wound up in this pickle. I also worked two jobs before, but can't find a second one that pays worth a damn here.

I'm trying to figure out if I'm just being a big baby and suffering from 'homesickness', and wondering if it will pass and if so, how long it takes, or are there just times when it doesn't work out because you just don't like the new area.
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Old 03-21-2017, 11:38 AM
Status: "On The Lookout" (set 23 days ago)
 
Location: The Triad (NC)
28,397 posts, read 61,782,091 times
Reputation: 31955
Quote:
Originally Posted by tf2014 View Post

I'm trying to figure out if I'm just being a big baby and suffering from 'homesickness',
or are there just times when it doesn't work out because you just don't like the new area.
You have to leave to learn that...
and it'll still take 5 years to know
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Old 03-21-2017, 11:49 AM
 
Location: South Carolina
13,781 posts, read 18,690,385 times
Reputation: 24349
There are just those times that nothing works and then you say to yourself I'm leaving here and going back to ___________________-. Whatever works for you do it and don't look back . would bf leave too if you were to leave ? if not , then there is your answer . I hope you get happy again soon . try to make new friends if you cant go back or maybe you should go back because of your kids living there and it wont be any easier when and if grandkids come along . good luck to you whatever you decide to do .
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Old 03-21-2017, 12:41 PM
 
Location: Living on the Coast in Oxnard CA
15,691 posts, read 26,668,043 times
Reputation: 20267
I guess you need to decide it the boy friend or the place is more important to you. Last I checked they still make boy friends in other areas, girl friends too.
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Old 03-21-2017, 02:20 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles
1,256 posts, read 786,434 times
Reputation: 1063
I just moved across the country from the NYC tri-state (not NYC proper) to CA. I knew literally no one, when I did this.

To speak to the cost of living: depending where you worked in NY (NYC proper, vs right outside, like Yonkers, etc) you were not only paying state taxes (which FL does not have,) you were potentially paying city taxes (be it NYC or the Yonkers residence/non residence, etc.) So, while you may make that much less yearly...it still <somewhat> balances out.

My parents live in the most expensive county/towns in FL. They have for over 5 years, now. I actually researched moving down there and, if I had not taken the job I did out here, I would have. Gas is cheaper, food is (mostly) cheaper, and living expenses are definitely cheaper than the NYC area (I'm assuming the tri-state or Long Island, as you stated you didn't live in NYC, but near there.) Even if you get out of the tri-state and up to the New Haven/Hamden part of CT, costs are still cheaper in FL.

While you may not be 100% ahead--if you are not having to pay any expenses for the house (meaning mortgage...I'm not including utilities/food/insurance) then even with cheap rent, I don't see how the salary can be that much of a difference overall--maybe 5K less, when balancing out no rent, less for groceries, etc(again if you don't have any.) Even $800 in rent a month, would have been 9600 a year. Not including insurance, etc.

Are you not meeting friends? What is your age range, if you don't mind my asking? As I said, I moved out to CA with knowing NO one (and into a higher cost of living than NYC, proper) and have found numerous ways to make friends. That has helped my homesickness.

You need to give it time. Unless you just really don't want to make an effort...
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