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View Poll Results: Where do you live in relation to where you were born?
The same city I was born in 19 7.51%
A different city in the same region 64 25.30%
A different city in the same country 140 55.34%
A country in the same continent 7 2.77%
A country in a different continent 23 9.09%
Voters: 253. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 12-14-2017, 01:35 PM
 
1,010 posts, read 1,262,022 times
Reputation: 1795

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About 20 miles away in the San Francisco bay area.

 
Old 12-14-2017, 03:02 PM
 
1,099 posts, read 393,420 times
Reputation: 1557
I'm a New Englander ,My family and my spouses family have lived here for generations.now not to say we have never traveled.but we like the northeast especially being separated from most of the USA by the Hudson River.
Our children have moved away ,I like New England so much we bought several Sections of land in Northern New Hampshire and have a thriving hunting and fishing camp .
 
Old 12-17-2017, 04:58 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
938 posts, read 403,550 times
Reputation: 454
Default What is your opinion on moving far away from family (nosiness and independence)?

I am 19 years old and I am a sophomore in college here in my home state New Jersey (I live here and I grew up here as well). When I graduate college in the next 2 Ĺ years, I would like to get a job and move out west in places like Washington state, Oregon, or California and I am open to a few other western states as well.

When I was a little kid I used to love New Jersey to death and I was a completely different person and now I just really hate New Jersey and the east coast in general. The main reason why (sort of the only reason) I want to move out of here is because I want a better climate (I donít mind the drowsy climate in the Pacific Northwest). I also would prefer a climate that does not reach below 40 degrees Fahrenheit. Also, I would like a better quality of life, less crowded place, less overdeveloped place, beautiful scenery, and NJ doesnít suit my future outdoorsy lifestyle. But, there are ďplusĒ reasons for moving out of New Jersey.

It would be cool if my family lived near me. As an introvert, I donít mind climate over people. My family that lives in New Jersey and the east coast are my dadís entire family and a few of my momís relatives that live in NYC. My momís relatives mostly live in California. Donít get me wrong, but both sides of family did really nice things that I should be very grateful for. They give me spending money at times, my grandparents sometimes pay my college bills, etc. I have a big family and they all live in different states. I love my dadís side of the family and they were better when I was little (talking about the NJ relatives only), but nowadays they changed. They got really nosy since my college years. Iím tired of our house phone ringing every day and having to pick it up. Theyíve changed ever and became more uptight after a ďbaby sprawlĒ of little kids were born into the family during my middle school days.

Example: Yesterday, we were celebrating my grandmotherís birthday, since we couldnít celebrate a month ago. I couldnít go, because I was studying for this semesterís finals. My aunt (my dadís sister who lives with my grandmother) calls the phone before we go asking me to come for one hour and then sheís telling me I am overdoing it with studying and I will burn myself out. Ever since my high school days, every time I go to my grandmotherís house, it's always a dumb part, and my little cousin is there with her little kid friends. My aunt always enjoys having little kids over and itís just annoying when she wants me to come just to visit little kids who arenít even part of the family and not the actual relatives. I hate having to see little kids and I donít plan on having my own kids at all! When I was little and up to my middle school days, NONE of this was a problem! It was peaceful going to see my grandmother at her house. I could go and relax and nobody was uptight. All my dadís relatives were better. The 2000s were the best.

Nowadays, I like my California relatives better than my NJ relatives. My NJ relatives are so uptight these days and not the same as my California relatives. I have two cousins around my age that live in California (but of course they will grow up and move to wherever eventually).

Also, I canít stand living under my parents roof. My parents are way better compared to most people in my parentís generation though. I started not liking my parents when I was a sophomore in high school. Theyíve changed a lot. They always act like they should not be married. My momís always acts like she hates her inlaws. Honestly, half the world should not be married today. I feel like they criticize other drivers when theyíre the ones who act like they canít drive and they always struggle to back out a car, cross a 4-way stop sign intersection. Going on vacations with them sucks these days especially when they struggle driving (in terms of bad sense of directions) instead of enjoying the trip. Things were better before my sophomore year of high school. I have a brother that lives in our house, but he plans on staying in New Jersey forever (he canít stand my parents either). I am close to my brother even though I sort of dislike him nowadays.

I feel very trapped living in my parentís house and living in New Jersey in general. Iím tired of going out somewhere and seeing people I donít want to see, tired of the annoying NJ relatives and their excessive phone calls. I hate my hometown and it is annoying when I go shopping or something, I have to bump into someone from my snobby hometown who I no longer keep in touch with after high school (except for my best friend). I feel that there is no need to live in New Jersey when I grow up. I can find a better life and better place and I want to be a better person than I am now with a better lifestyle.
Not only am I looking for a better quality of life, I am looking for a better ďpersonal quality of lifeĒ / ďpersonal lifeĒ. I need my distance and need to be away from the people I grew up with (people I dislike) and my annoying NJ relatives. I know a few people my age who are just madly in love with their parents and they donít care if they are still in college in their mid and latter 20s.

Have any of you actually moved far away from family to be in a better climate, get away, etc?
 
Old 12-17-2017, 07:00 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
77,963 posts, read 69,907,126 times
Reputation: 75754
OP, you need a marketable profession, if you want to move to the West Coast after graduation. What's your field of study?

NJ has some beautiful, outdoorsy, natural areas. Ever been to Lambertville? It's right on the river--great place to kayak or canoe, and hike around. Probably anyplace along the border with PA would be very pretty and mellow. I have no idea what the employment situation is in places like that, nor what your chosen field is.

California's expensive. Portland and Seattle are less so, but still pretty expensive, unless you're a techie making good money. But there are other towns and cities in Western WA that would be good places to live.
 
Old 12-17-2017, 08:08 PM
 
7,289 posts, read 4,383,643 times
Reputation: 8898
Quote:
Originally Posted by potanta View Post
[color=#000000][font=Arial]
Have any of you actually moved far away from family to be in a better climate, get away, etc?
I moved from NY to Southern California. I didn't do it for the climate OR to get away from family. I married someone from Southern California and I was 28 when that happened.

I've been here 35 years now, and, while California is now "home" for me, it is not by any means a perfect place to live. It's extremely expensive, parts are very crowded, and we have fun natural disasters like wild fires on a pretty regular basis.

When I moved out here, I left my entire family and all of my friends back in NY. While I certainly tried to keep in touch with everyone, and saw my parents at least once a year, I will be honest with you: I never really had the same relationships with my family and friends in NY again. At the time, this didn't seem like a big deal - after all, I was, in a sense gaining a new family by getting married. But now, looking back, I see all of the family things that I AND my children missed out on over the years. Sure, I talked to my family regularly, and we visited my parents once a year (or they visited us), but now that they are both gone, I realize that my memories of them sort of are clustered in the years before I moved, rather than after wards.

That's not to say that you shouldn't move somewhere else after you graduate from college. But, there ARE other options besides moving 3,000 miles away. There are plenty of places on the East Coast where the weather is nicer than NJ that might be just as good places to start your career and experience life on your own as San Diego or Portland.

Also, nice weather is nice, but it doesn't pay your rent or put food on your table. So, as Ruth4Truth wisely noted, your first order of business after you graduate from college should NOT be moving just for nicer weather or to get as far away from home as possible, but rather finding a job that will help launch your career. That may be on the East Coast; it may be in the Midwest ow West; it may even be in NJ.

So, for right now, try not to get too antsy about living with your parents. I know it is annoying, but this too shall pass. And don't spend too much time dreaming about moving to California (or elsewhere) just yet.

Instead, your focus right now should be on building the skills and experience to get you into a good paying job after you graduate. Keep your options open about where to live, but make sure you HAVE options to get a good job after graduation. Get a part-time job to build some work experience. Do internships. Add classes to your schedule that will give you job-oriented skills. Get into your school's career center and start talking to them (and your professors) about what other things you should be doing to get ready to land a job.

Keep your eye on the bigger goal: That's the surest way to get out of your parents house and start your own life, where ever you end up living.

Best wishes!

(P.S. if the situation at home is horribly intolerable, look into moving into a dorm on your college's campus, or maybe getting an off campus apartment with roommates. Maybe think about how you could make that happen with a part-time job or financial aid. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be more independent. But, again, keep your eyes on the goal.).
 
Old 12-17-2017, 09:51 PM
 
Location: Chandler,AZ
390 posts, read 195,586 times
Reputation: 291
if you want to rarely reach 40 degrees , the phoenix,az area will be one of the best areas for that . That's why I want to move there myself within the next 2 years . I also love hiking so that's another reason I want to move to AZ .
 
Old 12-17-2017, 10:13 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
938 posts, read 403,550 times
Reputation: 454
Quote:
Originally Posted by popwar View Post
if you want to rarely reach 40 degrees , the phoenix,az area will be one of the best areas for that . That's why I want to move there myself within the next 2 years . I also love hiking so that's another reason I want to move to AZ .
Yeah I am also open to Arizona. The issue is if the weather is 110 degrees Fahrenheight there on certain days, that can be dangerous for your skin peeling, premature aging in my youth, etc. Honestly, I would prefer to learn how to get used to hot climate places, but humidity is something I can't get used to, because I was not born into a place that's humid all year round. The human body is made to suit warm climates, since we're warm blooded animals. I don't mind 40 degrees, but below 40 degrees can be too cold for me. Washington and Oregon both get to 35 degrees at nighttime, but who cares about nighttime weather.

From what I've heard, Arizona is cheap except for utility bills, but it sounds a really affordable place to live in, since it is more outdoorsy and not so urbanized like California or New Jersey. California isn't my primary state of choice. Too crowded and too expensive and not worth its expensiveness. I've also considered getting internships out west too. The issue is with Arizona is "rednecks" and especially me being a minority. I have googled Arizona's demographics and they do have a high Hispanic population. Arizona is predominantly white and Hispanic.
 
Old 12-17-2017, 10:29 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
938 posts, read 403,550 times
Reputation: 454
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
OP, you need a marketable profession, if you want to move to the West Coast after graduation. What's your field of study?

NJ has some beautiful, outdoorsy, natural areas. Ever been to Lambertville? It's right on the river--great place to kayak or canoe, and hike around. Probably anyplace along the border with PA would be very pretty and mellow. I have no idea what the employment situation is in places like that, nor what your chosen field is.

California's expensive. Portland and Seattle are less so, but still pretty expensive, unless you're a techie making good money. But there are other towns and cities in Western WA that would be good places to live.
My field of study is IT . In real life, people think everyone hires IT people and it is easy to get an IT job. In reality, it is actually the opposite. I am researching for internships here in NJ and out west as well. There aren't too many IT internships here in NJ. I did research on regular IT jobs just for the curiosity. A regular job seems hard to find, but there are other jobs under other names that hire IT majors. Also, I have been receiving strange emails (advertisements) from places that they reviewed my resume and they would like to know if I am interested in a sales, or marketing position due to the retail on my resume. This makes me wonder if I will end up getting a job that's irrelevant to IT jobs in my future. I am fine with getting white-collared jobs that are irrelevant to IT jobs like being a businessman for example. It is really cliche to hear that everyone hires IT people. That's not true. IT jobs have low availability here in NJ.

I've been to Lambertville last year. I have never found east coast scenery attractive unless you're in tropical places like Florida. Places with bad climates have ugly scenery except the places up more north like Maine.
 
Old 12-18-2017, 04:53 AM
 
Location: North Dakota
7,662 posts, read 8,952,951 times
Reputation: 10938
Quote:
Originally Posted by potanta View Post
I am 19 years old and I am a sophomore in college here in my home state New Jersey (I live here and I grew up here as well). When I graduate college in the next 2 Ĺ years, I would like to get a job and move out west in places like Washington state, Oregon, or California and I am open to a few other western states as well.

When I was a little kid I used to love New Jersey to death and I was a completely different person and now I just really hate New Jersey and the east coast in general. The main reason why (sort of the only reason) I want to move out of here is because I want a better climate (I donít mind the drowsy climate in the Pacific Northwest). I also would prefer a climate that does not reach below 40 degrees Fahrenheit. Also, I would like a better quality of life, less crowded place, less overdeveloped place, beautiful scenery, and NJ doesnít suit my future outdoorsy lifestyle. But, there are ďplusĒ reasons for moving out of New Jersey.

It would be cool if my family lived near me. As an introvert, I donít mind climate over people. My family that lives in New Jersey and the east coast are my dadís entire family and a few of my momís relatives that live in NYC. My momís relatives mostly live in California. Donít get me wrong, but both sides of family did really nice things that I should be very grateful for. They give me spending money at times, my grandparents sometimes pay my college bills, etc. I have a big family and they all live in different states. I love my dadís side of the family and they were better when I was little (talking about the NJ relatives only), but nowadays they changed. They got really nosy since my college years. Iím tired of our house phone ringing every day and having to pick it up. Theyíve changed ever and became more uptight after a ďbaby sprawlĒ of little kids were born into the family during my middle school days.

Example: Yesterday, we were celebrating my grandmotherís birthday, since we couldnít celebrate a month ago. I couldnít go, because I was studying for this semesterís finals. My aunt (my dadís sister who lives with my grandmother) calls the phone before we go asking me to come for one hour and then sheís telling me I am overdoing it with studying and I will burn myself out. Ever since my high school days, every time I go to my grandmotherís house, it's always a dumb part, and my little cousin is there with her little kid friends. My aunt always enjoys having little kids over and itís just annoying when she wants me to come just to visit little kids who arenít even part of the family and not the actual relatives. I hate having to see little kids and I donít plan on having my own kids at all! When I was little and up to my middle school days, NONE of this was a problem! It was peaceful going to see my grandmother at her house. I could go and relax and nobody was uptight. All my dadís relatives were better. The 2000s were the best.

Nowadays, I like my California relatives better than my NJ relatives. My NJ relatives are so uptight these days and not the same as my California relatives. I have two cousins around my age that live in California (but of course they will grow up and move to wherever eventually).

Also, I canít stand living under my parents roof. My parents are way better compared to most people in my parentís generation though. I started not liking my parents when I was a sophomore in high school. Theyíve changed a lot. They always act like they should not be married. My momís always acts like she hates her inlaws. Honestly, half the world should not be married today. I feel like they criticize other drivers when theyíre the ones who act like they canít drive and they always struggle to back out a car, cross a 4-way stop sign intersection. Going on vacations with them sucks these days especially when they struggle driving (in terms of bad sense of directions) instead of enjoying the trip. Things were better before my sophomore year of high school. I have a brother that lives in our house, but he plans on staying in New Jersey forever (he canít stand my parents either). I am close to my brother even though I sort of dislike him nowadays.

I feel very trapped living in my parentís house and living in New Jersey in general. Iím tired of going out somewhere and seeing people I donít want to see, tired of the annoying NJ relatives and their excessive phone calls. I hate my hometown and it is annoying when I go shopping or something, I have to bump into someone from my snobby hometown who I no longer keep in touch with after high school (except for my best friend). I feel that there is no need to live in New Jersey when I grow up. I can find a better life and better place and I want to be a better person than I am now with a better lifestyle.
Not only am I looking for a better quality of life, I am looking for a better ďpersonal quality of lifeĒ / ďpersonal lifeĒ. I need my distance and need to be away from the people I grew up with (people I dislike) and my annoying NJ relatives. I know a few people my age who are just madly in love with their parents and they donít care if they are still in college in their mid and latter 20s.

Have any of you actually moved far away from family to be in a better climate, get away, etc?
This is quite the wall of text to read, but if you want to move move. However, be aware that the West Coast also has a high cost of living so you'll need to make sure you can afford to live there.
 
Old 12-18-2017, 05:24 AM
Status: "On The Lookout" (set 23 days ago)
 
Location: The Triad (NC)
28,394 posts, read 61,765,972 times
Reputation: 31943
Quote:
Originally Posted by potanta View Post
I am 19 years old and I am a sophomore in college here in my home state New Jersey...
Have any of you actually moved far away from family to be in a better climate, get away, etc?
Of course. That's half the reason so many choose a college out of state.
Which raises what you should explore doing NOW: transfer for your second two years.

But after graduation certainly move.
Just be sure you have a useful skill in short supply where you're going.
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