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Old 05-06-2018, 08:22 PM
 
Location: Eugene, Oregon
8,989 posts, read 2,935,707 times
Reputation: 13470

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Meemur View Post
Repeat after me ten times: happy wife = happy life; happy wife = happy life . . .

I understand that you hate your job, but it's now "we" not "you."

It's a bad idea to move to another country if your wife isn't on board with that decision.

One possible compromise: find a job you like in a place your wife likes. Maybe you can stay where you are and return to school for some additional training so you can get a job in your area more to your liking?

In any case, moving without your family sounds like a recipe for disaster.

I suggest that you make a strong effort to find a better job, right in the area where you currently live. I imagine that you would regret moving to another country and leaving them behind. The time to make a good decision about this is now, before you mess up things.
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Old 05-06-2018, 08:28 PM
 
9,864 posts, read 3,920,333 times
Reputation: 24886
I don't know where you live now, but can you not find another job located in the country where you now live, where your family would be happy to move?

Moving to a completely different country seems out of the question for me, especially if it's not a military assignment where you have a deadline of say, a year. With benefits.
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Old 05-06-2018, 08:38 PM
 
Location: Dallas TX
14,992 posts, read 21,631,720 times
Reputation: 22099
Quote:
Originally Posted by marino760 View Post
I don't get it. I don't care how crappy my job is, I wouldn't trade a wife and child I love for a job, period. There's nothing to think about and if you have to think about it, you're not the happy family man you pretend you are.
I wish my husband felt this way. He had a job, hated it and got a job 3000 miles away. I told him I was concerned, he thought it was for the best. We have been apart for four months now and I cannot tell you how much I resent him for his choice.
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Old 05-07-2018, 07:37 AM
 
6,051 posts, read 2,785,611 times
Reputation: 15315
I'd encourage my mate to go. With the provision of a three month timeline-to secure the job. Gain a home and have faith that the country we'd reside is a peace zone.
Op- contingent on your profession you may actually enjoy your new goal. Let's consider this a risk with good benefits. Is your wife stable in her employ? How independent is she? Usually the one spouse can step it up when the family needs a bit more resources.
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Old 05-07-2018, 08:01 AM
 
11,841 posts, read 5,015,135 times
Reputation: 18221
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nov3 View Post
I'd encourage my mate to go. With the provision of a three month timeline-to secure the job. Gain a home and have faith that the country we'd reside is a peace zone.
Op- contingent on your profession you may actually enjoy your new goal. Let's consider this a risk with good benefits. Is your wife stable in her employ? How independent is she? Usually the one spouse can step it up when the family needs a bit more resources.
But this wasn't the scenario described. The wife doesn't want to go anywhere and neither does his child. They are both happy where they are. He talked about visiting them once every other month. He's hoping his wife and child will eventually want to move there with him.
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Old 05-07-2018, 09:15 AM
 
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
10,488 posts, read 8,691,274 times
Reputation: 12142
What did you imagine would happen? You made a selfish decision and now you are paying the first part of the price. There is more bad news, for you, to come.
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Old 05-07-2018, 10:43 AM
 
Location: North State (California)
38,311 posts, read 2,890,491 times
Reputation: 12411
The child should be with his parents, if they both move, then he has to go too, kids should not have a vote in major family decisions, imo.

Is the marriage on solid ground? I can't imagine a loving couple be living apart, unless it was absolutely unavoidable.
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Old 05-07-2018, 11:04 AM
 
Location: middle tennessee
1,913 posts, read 974,749 times
Reputation: 6852
What if the country this person wants to move to is the United States? Would your answers to him be different?
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Old 05-07-2018, 11:09 AM
 
13,102 posts, read 17,657,291 times
Reputation: 19625
So far a single post.
1000 miles - where is home?
We moved nine times across the US, twice in Europe and once to the Near East. I am ready after almost three years!!! A 10-year old is a child and children adapt easily to languages and cultures unless parents tell them they do no.
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Old 05-07-2018, 01:47 PM
 
Location: State of Denial
1,869 posts, read 938,889 times
Reputation: 9826
Quote:
Originally Posted by AndreasKE View Post
Am considering to move away for a job. I am not too happy with the job i have at the moment for several reasons. I really could need a change regarding the job but that would mean i had to move abroad, about 1000 miles away where i have an attractive job offer. Problem is that my family is very happy with the place we live now. Wife wants to stay and our little guy wants to stay too. Our little man is soon 10 years old. He doesn`t speak the language of the country i want to move to too well but has some basic language skills. So i had to move alone, check out the premises and then later on hope for the best, that my family will be following me. Problem is there are a lot of uncertainties with this plan. Obviously i first had to work for some time to find out that the new job really is as good as i hope it will be, second, moving a child is according to some studies always risky, especially if they do not want to move. I am so torn between staying or leaving and do not know what to do. Especially the thought of living without my family for a longer period, only seeing them every other month really tears my heart out. On the other hand is the prospect of continuing in the job i have now depressing too. Possibilities of getting an interesting job here in the area is rather low. Know that since i tried for several years now. Wondered if any of you have been in a similar situation and has some good advice to me, that would be very much appreciated! I feel like i have to choose between 2 options that both will be quite hurtful. Clearly the option without my family will be much worth but maybe not so in the long term!??????? I really do not know. Asked for one year granting of a leave from the job i have now. Answer was that they basically do not grant this and why i wanted to have a one year break.

Your son will be going off to college in eight years or so. Then you are free to move. Can you stand to hold an "uninteresting" job for that amount of time to keep your family together?
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