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Am considering to move away for a job. I am not too happy with the job i have at the moment for several reasons. I really could need a change regarding the job but that would mean i had to move abroad, about 1000 miles away where i have an attractive job offer. Problem is that my family is very happy with the place we live now. Wife wants to stay and our little guy wants to stay too. Our little man is soon 10 years old. He doesn`t speak the language of the country i want to move to too well but has some basic language skills. So i had to move alone, check out the premises and then later on hope for the best, that my family will be following me. Problem is there are a lot of uncertainties with this plan. Obviously i first had to work for some time to find out that the new job really is as good as i hope it will be, second, moving a child is according to some studies always risky, especially if they do not want to move. I am so torn between staying or leaving and do not know what to do. Especially the thought of living without my family for a longer period, only seeing them every other month really tears my heart out. On the other hand is the prospect of continuing in the job i have now depressing too. Possibilities of getting an interesting job here in the area is rather low. Know that since i tried for several years now. Wondered if any of you have been in a similar situation and has some good advice to me, that would be very much appreciated! I feel like i have to choose between 2 options that both will be quite hurtful. Clearly the option without my family will be much worth but maybe not so in the long term!??????? I really do not know. Asked for one year granting of a leave from the job i have now. Answer was that they basically do not grant this and why i wanted to have a one year break.
Am considering to move away for a job. I am not too happy with the job i have at the moment for several reasons. I really could need a change regarding the job but that would mean i had to move abroad, about 1000 miles away where i have an attractive job offer. Problem is that my family is very happy with the place we live now. Wife wants to stay and our little guy wants to stay too. Our little man is soon 10 years old. He doesn`t speak the language of the country i want to move to too well but has some basic language skills. So i had to move alone, check out the premises and then later on hope for the best, that my family will be following me. Problem is there are a lot of uncertainties with this plan. Obviously i first had to work for some time to find out that the new job really is as good as i hope it will be, second, moving a child is according to some studies always risky, especially if they do not want to move. I am so torn between staying or leaving and do not know what to do. Especially the thought of living without my family for a longer period, only seeing them every other month really tears my heart out. On the other hand is the prospect of continuing in the job i have now depressing too. Possibilities of getting an interesting job here in the area is rather low. Know that since i tried for several years now. Wondered if any of you have been in a similar situation and has some good advice to me, that would be very much appreciated! I feel like i have to choose between 2 options that both will be quite hurtful. Clearly the option without my family will be much worth but maybe not so in the long term!??????? I really do not know. Asked for one year granting of a leave from the job i have now. Answer was that they basically do not grant this and why i wanted to have a one year break.
Why have you posted in the GRIEF AND MOURNING forum??????????
Wife wants to stay and our little guy wants to stay too. Our little man is soon 10 years old.
He doesn`t speak the language of the country i want to move to
Moving to a different COUNTRY for a job is a very different matter than another city.
Needing to go to another city for a good job offer? Sure.
It's tough and awful but sometimes it's the only practical option.
Get the solid offer.
Big problem surely. If I am faced with a complex problem like this I find the best approach is to
1. Reduce the variables; get the offer and find out about any benefits (moving, temp housing, COL in the area, benefits for your family including schools, what housing costs are, activities that your family would enjoy getting into, etc). Before you have the knowns, you can't attack the other aspects.
2. Break all the parts of this problem into smaller questions and attack them individually. Looking at it from a whole can be overwhelming and you obviously know you are spinning your wheels over all of them all at once. None become clearer.
3. Once you know the facts, start tallying up the advantages and the disadvantages of staying or leaving. Do it with your family. Make a tally board and put it up where everyone can see it and think about it. They obviously have a say and may see it from points of view you don't. What they tell you is as valid as what you tell yourself.
4. Realize that there are usually no easy decisions. There may not be one clear winner here. Most likely you'll have to compromise and not necessarily do what YOU alone want. Also, remember that nothing is permanent. If you stay where you are or take the offer you wouldn't necessarily stay either place long term. Is that a possibility? Would one job give you more leverage in the future than the other? Would that play into what you do?
Problem is that my family is very happy with the place we live now. Wife wants to stay and our little guy wants to stay too.
Repeat after me ten times: happy wife = happy life; happy wife = happy life . . .
I understand that you hate your job, but it's now "we" not "you."
It's a bad idea to move to another country if your wife isn't on board with that decision.
One possible compromise: find a job you like in a place your wife likes. Maybe you can stay where you are and return to school for some additional training so you can get a job in your area more to your liking?
In any case, moving without your family sounds like a recipe for disaster.
I don't get it. I don't care how crappy my job is, I wouldn't trade a wife and child I love for a job, period. There's nothing to think about and if you have to think about it, you're not the happy family man you pretend you are.
I don't get it. I don't care how crappy my job is, I wouldn't trade a wife and child I love for a job, period. There's nothing to think about and if you have to think about it, you're not the happy family man you pretend you are.
It would have to be serious life changing money to even be worth considering.
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