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Old 08-01-2018, 05:17 AM
 
3,961 posts, read 1,690,813 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tamajane View Post
Why did it create bad blood that she moved stuff to her apartment? Some people really are comforted by things they have always had around them.
Unlike whartonís sister, the OP hasnít always had the stuff in unit #2. She only lived in that place for a little over a year and apparently her roommate didnít want it. I think that is the problem most people are seeing. There should be no emotional attachment to stuff youíve basically inherited after living in a place a year. Iíve lived in a place for a year or two, picked up or inherited some things I used, and had no trouble saying goodbye to them when it was time for me to leave. My guess is that if they were priceless heirlooms or top-of-the-line furniture, the original owner would not have gifted them to the OP. Itís also perplexing why she has a 10x15 with her first condoís stuff if she is only planning on living in a one bedroom.
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Old 08-01-2018, 06:02 AM
 
373 posts, read 101,574 times
Reputation: 1271
Quote:
Originally Posted by tamajane View Post
Why did it create bad blood that she moved stuff to her apartment? Some people really are comforted by things they have always had around them.
The fact that she ended up with family furnishings in her apartment was not the issue. Over the years she had been deluded by various mental health "professionals" that she was an entitled victim, who deserved to be taken care of, in a nice middle class lifestyle, with zero effort, or cost to her. Coddled, and maintained by her parents, who were the real villains in the story, since they failed to raise her perfectly, and were responsible for all her failings. Our mother fell for this BS and perpetuated this delusion until the day she died. This delusion didn't extend to her estate planning, as she wrote a will that divided everything evenly between ALL the kids.

When my sister was hit with the reality that she would NOT be given a paid off, single family home, and a trust fund that was adequate to make sure she never had to lift a finger, she decided to throw a fit. She literally thought she was entitled to my mothers home and every penny of our mother's substantial investment portfolio, since it was a requirement of retaining her current lifestyle. Things got so bizarre that she had a law firm, AND a social services agency calling me to explain that that was "how it was going to be". I had to explain to these dolts that they could tell it to the probate judge, since I was following the directives of the will, and NOT in the business of screwing other siblings to suit their client's fantasy as to how the world works. She initially refused to attend her mother's funeral, and was dragged like a toddler to the event, by a family friend. She also told the executor (me) that she wanted nothing to do with any contents of the house. I then invited friends and family to take what they wanted, which was actually very little. They took a few framed pictures and prints that they had a history with, like pictures from island vacations, and similar events. They took a single piece of furniture that was actually mine, but had been in my parents home for decades. In the end they took nothing that had any ties to my sister at all, just momentos of their good times with our mom. Once she realized that I was doing my job as executor, and not delaying my responsibilities to allow her time to finish this particular toddler fit, she demanded EVERYTHING from the home. My brother and I didn't care, so he put the entire contents of a three bedroom house in his basement. He then found her a small one bedroom apartment, and stuffed it full of whatever she wanted and could stuff in the place. My sister then spent the next decade causing all kinds of drama, including lying to relatives, who she told that I had taken everything for her. These concerned family members began calling me horrified that I could be such a lowlife, and who would give everything that matter to my sister to strangers, instead. Anybody that matter to my brother and I quickly caught on to the fact that she was a pathological liar, who actually ended up in a very nice situation, thanks to her brothers, and my actions as an executor. Some would say that she got a lot more than she deserved.

When it comes to hanging on to large volumes of worthless possessions, particularly in cases like this, or the OPs, when you don't have the resources or space to do so, it is often far from a harmless "sentimental attachment" situation. For many people there is a LOT more to the story, and it's often a visible manifestation of somebody who has some serious issues.
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Old 08-01-2018, 09:41 AM
 
12,104 posts, read 6,682,852 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wharton View Post

When it comes to hanging on to large volumes of worthless possessions, particularly in cases like this, or the OPs, when you don't have the resources or space to do so, it is often far from a harmless "sentimental attachment" situation. For many people there is a LOT more to the story, and it's often a visible manifestation of somebody who has some serious issues.
That sounds like a nightmare. Your sister was very entitled. She probably expected to be executor and have control over everything.
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Old 08-01-2018, 10:40 PM
 
26,589 posts, read 52,257,058 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wharton View Post
Well that's some mighty fine advice.

Take the OP for example. The OP has clearly stated that they have no ability to afford the situation they are in. As is evidenced by the fact that they are paying late fees on a monthly basis, and can't afford to cobble together enough cash to pay a security deposit for their own apartment. They filled a second unit with crap they were given by a room mate who split. Obviously they are making good decisions, and have a strong sentimental attachment to somebody else's junk too. I'm sure that all the other folks out there that have a couple, two, three units full of valueless crap should also be encouraged to keep up the good work, sentimentality and all that............................

Thank you... I enjoy contributing.

With most things it comes down to priorities...

I have seen people in desperate need of assistance forgo all because they would have to give up their dog...

We all make choices.
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Old 08-01-2018, 10:43 PM
 
26,589 posts, read 52,257,058 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
Sheís not happy however her she would not have a title to her thread that she is stuck. OP stated she is trying to get an apartment and cannot afford the security deposit because of the rental storage units and apparently late fees because she cannot even afford them.
These situations tend to self-resolve... storage unit operators do not loose money... if fees remain unpaid... the unit is auctioned off.

I have also seen it motivate people to get a second job to support their habit...

Posters have offered suggestions that have not been well received.
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Old 08-01-2018, 10:50 PM
 
26,589 posts, read 52,257,058 times
Reputation: 20405
I bought a home where the daughter was a hoarder... in the worst way... can't even begin to describe other to say there was a freezer full of freezer meat they had forgotten existed because it had been so many years since they had seen it... they forgot... family room piled as high solid as the washer and dryer...

Anyway... after the sale... I was contacted by legal aid, etc... the county had given me 30 days to clear it...

The solution as mentioned was for me to pay for several large storage units and cart everything over... it was actually cheaper than me paying dump fees...

Seller was happy, Daughgter was thrilled, Legal Aid signed off... I was estatic.

She ended up losing it all because she couldn't keep up with the storage costs...

Forced her to come to terms and reinvent herself... she moved to Oregon and started a new life... even bought her own home...
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Old 08-02-2018, 09:29 AM
 
12,104 posts, read 6,682,852 times
Reputation: 12952
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ultrarunner View Post
I bought a home where the daughter was a hoarder... in the worst way... can't even begin to describe other to say there was a freezer full of freezer meat they had forgotten existed because it had been so many years since they had seen it... they forgot... family room piled as high solid as the washer and dryer...

Anyway... after the sale... I was contacted by legal aid, etc... the county had given me 30 days to clear it...

The solution as mentioned was for me to pay for several large storage units and cart everything over... it was actually cheaper than me paying dump fees...

Seller was happy, Daughgter was thrilled, Legal Aid signed off... I was estatic.

She ended up losing it all because she couldn't keep up with the storage costs...

Forced her to come to terms and reinvent herself... she moved to Oregon and started a new life... even bought her own home...
You bought a house with the hoard and were required to clean it in a month? Wow. It reminds me of an episode of Hoarders with a lady in a deteriorated mansion who lost it and a couple bought it, they felt bad and tried to help her keep some stuff but she left with little.
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Old 08-02-2018, 12:53 PM
 
26,589 posts, read 52,257,058 times
Reputation: 20405
I tend to go for distressed property... it is a plan that has worked very well because often there is not a lot of competition...

In this case the home itself was sound... it just took about six 30-yard dumpsters and several deep storage lockers...

The backyard was also full... but much was pure junk as the tarps failed and the elements took over...

The time frame was actually less than a month but the sale put a wrench in that plan... I did a stipulated agreement with the county and was granted 30 days...

Really sad because some of the items were definitely good at one time... but not after sitting outside for years...

The daughter it turns out was on Meth... she was famous for dumpster diving too...

Almost 300 milk crates... the kind that said penalty for unlawful possession... I filled a trailer and dropped them off at the Sheriff Department... stolen goods and all that.
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Old 08-02-2018, 01:11 PM
 
373 posts, read 101,574 times
Reputation: 1271
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ultrarunner View Post
Thank you... I enjoy contributing.

With most things it comes down to priorities...

I have seen people in desperate need of assistance forgo all because they would have to give up their dog...

We all make choices.
Yea, because we all would agree that giving up a pet, who is typically a beloved member of your family, and holding on to an old couch and table lamps, are EXACTLY the same thing. Refusing to allow dogs and cats aboard rescue boats resulted in people dying in places like New Orleans. If you refuse rescue assistance because you can't take a box of Beanie Babies and a lamp with you, it's called culling the herd.
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Old 08-02-2018, 01:25 PM
 
373 posts, read 101,574 times
Reputation: 1271
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ultrarunner View Post
These situations tend to self-resolve... storage unit operators do not loose money... if fees remain unpaid... the unit is auctioned off.
Sorry, but there are plenty of times that storage operators lose money on deadbeat tenants. "Storage wars" is reality TV, not real life. I know a family that owned a big facility for decades. Lots of their auctions fail to bring adequate bids to cover costs, and many units are full of such valueless crap, that any bidder with common sense doesn't even bother to bid a buck on the contents. Even if you get it for free, and it's a dozen cubic yards of crap, with a few hundred bucks worth of salvageable content, you still lose, since you also bought the whole pile of crap, and you are paying to get it properly disposed of. More recently another operator told me that they first try hard to get the bill current, then they try to recover anything they can from the renter, next it's trying to get the renter to remove their junk, followed by the auction process. In many cases renters are spending far more that the value of whatever junk they are storing, once they have been there a year, or more.
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