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Old 07-25-2018, 10:21 AM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
7,661 posts, read 4,705,800 times
Reputation: 28009

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Parnassia View Post
I suspect for some people that "stuff" is a symptom, a physical manifestation of other things in life that never came to pass. Never satisfied, never resolved, always left wanting, unresolved regrets, denying realities.

Having lived with one hoarder and having to clean up the disgusting mess of another, I can confirm that you are largely on target with that observation.
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Old 07-25-2018, 10:32 AM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
7,661 posts, read 4,705,800 times
Reputation: 28009
Quote:
Originally Posted by Destination Succeed View Post
I know I asked for advice, which warranted opinions...but can it be done with first getting the facts? I also don't agree that well to do people never use storage. I know a guy who is retired and has lots of money, and had two storage units for a couple years, because he was living with his parents helping them.

Let me introduce you to my husband. He's well-to-do.


When we bought our house 23 years ago, there was a lot of junk I would not allow to be moved there. So he rented a big storage unit.


He has been paying $2,000 a year on it for the last 23 years. You do the math. So what if he can afford it? That's $46,000 we could have invested. Gone, because he either can't or won't let go of what is literally JUNK.


He keeps wanting to bring it all home so he can be closer to it. Half of our 2800 sq ft house is already devoted to storing MORE of his junk. I live in a tiny 10 x 12 bedroom. I have a small bathroom. Those two rooms, plus the kitchen and family room (part of which he stores stuff in) are the only usable rooms in the house.


This is what happens when you can't part with stuff.
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Old 07-25-2018, 12:23 PM
 
1,118 posts, read 587,339 times
Reputation: 1989
You are only paying $300 a month on storage. Do you have a job? What career are you in? Do you pay your relatives rent?

I have a 2 bedroom condo and could easily get rid of 1/2 of my stuff... I'd love to do this, but it is so much work.
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Old 07-25-2018, 12:41 PM
 
Location: North State (California)
39,555 posts, read 2,987,493 times
Reputation: 12907
Quote:
Originally Posted by bookspage View Post
Get rid of everything in both of the units and stop the money drain.

You are spending more than it would cost to replace all of this stuff one day when you do get a permanent home again

I agree, the money you will save, by not paying storage, will help you find a new home, & buy new things. If you have not used it in the last year, you do not need it. You can buy new pots & pans at thrift stores etc. Either clear them out, or let the storage company sell them to pay your unpaid rent. Right now, it is a big waste of money, going down the storage drain.
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Old 07-25-2018, 01:12 PM
 
Location: Des Moines Metro
5,055 posts, read 6,018,122 times
Reputation: 9437
OP, I'm also in my late 50s and have done a lot of downsizing and moving over the years.

You've gotten some excellent advice.

My final suggestions:

1. If you have a therapist that helps with hoarding issues, schedule one session with him or her. Show him/her this thread and discuss your feelings. I agree that there is/are larger issue(s) going on. Once you get clearer about them you will be better able to look at your situation more objectively.

2. If you don't have someone in the real world to talk to, do the math: look at what the stuff is worth, vs. replacement vs. storage.

I'm NOT saying "get rid of everything," but consider why you are paying top dollar. There is a huge difference between storing your grandmother's handmade dresser, which you want to use when you get settled, vs. an MDF dresser from Value City, which you like, but can be easily replaced at a later time!

Also, "Stuff" is not people! If you are keeping some things because they belonged to a dead person you loved, bring that up with the therapist. Take some photos of the stuff and then let it go. Keep the photos to remind you, not the stuff itself. Photos can be stored digitally, so no storage lockers are involved.

3. It is good to plan ahead but also try to live in the moment. At the very least, have only one small storage locker, not far from where you currently live. When you move, take that stuff with you.

I really hope that you are able to take some of the advice on this thread to heart. You are holding yourself back from renting a decent apartment with all of the money you are spending to store stuff, and if you can't see that or can't move forward from being "stuck" that's where a session or two with a therapist might help.

As for me, when I do the math on things like this, I let the numbers indicate my course of action. Yes, it hurts at the time to let stuff go, but after many years of dumping things, I can honestly tell you that once it's gone, it's generally easy to move on, and unless it was granny's homemade dresser, you can always re-buy it at a future time.

And lastly, as for the argument, "I've kept it this long . . ." -- sorry, that's crap. Live in the moment and again go back whether the item is one-of-a-kind or something mass-marketed that can be replaced. Remember the saying, "Don't throw good money after bad."

Keep your eyes on the prize: a great apartment in a great area where you can have a career and friends. Eliminate anything that is keeping you from this goal.
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Old 07-25-2018, 01:56 PM
 
Location: Bay Area, CA
29,041 posts, read 45,029,897 times
Reputation: 20425
Quote:
Originally Posted by Destination Succeed View Post
For all the people saying I should let everything get taken away, how about donating some money to help me locate and move into a place, or pay for all the things I'd give up? If I were to appraise everything I had in my storage unit from starting fresh, I'd say likely $5,000. That's not something I can replace within a year or 2.

I know some people can rationalize and afford to repurchase everything after a move, but I'm not in that position. I rather hold on to what I have, maybe even initially move my stuff to the city I plan to move to, and then later get the apartment in a couple months. What's holding me back is not having a lump sum of cash to access at the moment. Work for me is slow in the summer, probably be September before I'll have enough money to make some moves...
Maybe SELL everything of value in there... with that money + what you'd be saving by not paying storage fees, you'd have that "lump sum of cash" in no time. I realize it's hard to let go of your belongings, but trust me. You will be glad you did! I purged a ton of stuff with a recent move, and it is eye-opening to realize what seemed "essential" isn't even missed after it's gone. And you don't have to replace everything, I assure you, so telling us it's $5000 worth of stuff is irrelevant.

Btw, I used the technique mentioned in de-cluttering books; if you have to think about it (whether you need or want something) for more than a few seconds, GET RID OF IT. And in your case, if it's worth less than you're paying for monthly storage GET RID OF IT.
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Old 07-25-2018, 02:01 PM
 
Location: Bay Area, CA
29,041 posts, read 45,029,897 times
Reputation: 20425
Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat View Post
Let me introduce you to my husband. He's well-to-do.


When we bought our house 23 years ago, there was a lot of junk I would not allow to be moved there. So he rented a big storage unit.


He has been paying $2,000 a year on it for the last 23 years. You do the math. So what if he can afford it? That's $46,000 we could have invested. Gone, because he either can't or won't let go of what is literally JUNK.


He keeps wanting to bring it all home so he can be closer to it. Half of our 2800 sq ft house is already devoted to storing MORE of his junk. I live in a tiny 10 x 12 bedroom. I have a small bathroom. Those two rooms, plus the kitchen and family room (part of which he stores stuff in) are the only usable rooms in the house.


This is what happens when you can't part with stuff.
Yikes. And not to be morbid, but think of what you'll have to deal with if you outlive him... for the OP, that could be a parent or sibling who's burdened with the task. Not fun!
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Old 07-25-2018, 03:57 PM
 
5,693 posts, read 8,760,259 times
Reputation: 4922
OP doesn't have a storage problem as much as a Nashville problem.

What type of work do you do? Where are you looking to relocate?

I'm looking at your user name - did you move to Nashville with the idea that a rising economic tide would lift all boats and not realize it could put you under water. Instead of a rising tide of rents you were faced with a tsunami.

What kind of vehicle do you drive? Is it something like a SUV or a van where you could sell or donate what you can and move the other stuff away.
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Old 07-25-2018, 07:25 PM
 
Location: Long Island
788 posts, read 782,347 times
Reputation: 539
Post the stuff on Craigslist or other on line selling site, for what you thinks it's worth. If get no real bites to buy it, you valued it too high. This is when you relize how much it's costing you to keep less valuable stuff in storage. Your current economics don't allow you the luxury of a storage facility, let alone two.
And if you get an offer to buy the stuff, sell it fast and stop the madness once and for all. It's a win win plan.
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Old 07-25-2018, 07:49 PM
 
Location: Denver CO
21,177 posts, read 11,785,778 times
Reputation: 32188
Quote:
Originally Posted by gizmo980 View Post
Yikes. And not to be morbid, but think of what you'll have to deal with if you outlive him... for the OP, that could be a parent or sibling who's burdened with the task. Not fun!
If there is anything of actual value, you can pay someone to run an estate sale, and then they deal with disposing of the rest - donating some, trashing some.

If it's junk, then you can also hire people to haul it away.

The cost adds up but at least it doesn't have to become a physical burden to others.
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