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Old 12-04-2018, 07:09 AM
 
1,781 posts, read 2,156,408 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1000flowersbloom View Post

After being here for almost a year I've decided to move back to Portland at the end of this semester. I can't help but be pretty disappointed that things didn't work out how I wanted them to. I guess I had different expectations of how my life here would be, and part of me thinks that I am giving up to easily. I just don't see the point in sticking it out any longer when I've been pretty miserable for the past 6 months.

I guess NYC just isn't the place for me. Have any of you had disappointing experiences with a move like this? And if so, what did you do and how did you make yourself feel better about all of it?

Kind of just venting because I've been pretty bummed about the whole situation and don't know who to talk to but any input is appreciated!

You remained for a year! That's impressive.

In 2005, I spent a lot of dough I didn't have to move 1,000 miles to the East Coast. Within six weeks, I realized I was miserable and that I'd made a big mistake. I spent even more money to move BACK (to the Midwest) and that's when my life took a turn for the better, and everything started clicking.

As a dear friend told me, "Don't fret over the 'mistake' of moving or the expense. Just think of it as tuition. You learned a lot of lessons in a short period of time."

That comment brought me much solace.

Sometimes, the right decision is the hardest decision. GOOD FOR YOU for making a hard choice that will bring you some peace and joy!
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Old 12-04-2018, 07:16 AM
 
Location: East Coast of the United States
17,073 posts, read 19,415,512 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1000flowersbloom View Post
I guess NYC just isn't the place for me. Have any of you had disappointing experiences with a move like this? And if so, what did you do and how did you make yourself feel better about all of it?
Being 25 and still in school, you're not going to experience most of the things that NYC offers.

You have to begin your career there and start making some serious money. Or hook up with somebody who does.
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Old 12-04-2018, 07:28 AM
 
337 posts, read 136,046 times
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Well done OP! You tried out a major dream (for you and many people) and found out it did not suit you.
I did the same thing in the 70's (Brooklyn for grad school) and same result, New York was not my town, did not suit my personality or bank account. I am a small town person.

Soooo glad I went for it though, that's what everyone should do after high school or undergrad. Explore. Try out new places, careers, possibilities. It's a success not a failure to find out who you are.

Many people are afraid of taking a chance, fear of failing. Once they get embedded (marriage, career) it becomes impossible and reallly scary. Only wealthy people can afford to take years sampling different cities (I was a waitress who paid her way through college).

How many people are dreaming at their desk jobs about "what coulda been" if only they took a shot at NYC or LA or London or Paris? It sets up a life of regrets and some lavish money on their kids to make up for that which can be a whole 'nother regret.
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Old 12-04-2018, 08:25 AM
 
155 posts, read 39,670 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MLSFan View Post
you didn't spend enough money :/... that's how large cities work, spend money on the high COL and be happy
I would disagree with that in full.

Live somewhere lower COL and commute in for the fun...
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Old 12-04-2018, 08:40 AM
 
1,651 posts, read 478,099 times
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The only thing that is disproportionately expensive about NYC is the rent/housing costs, by the way. I know that's a big "only", but still.
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Old 12-04-2018, 09:12 AM
 
Location: East Coast of the United States
17,073 posts, read 19,415,512 times
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Why anybody would move to NYC thinking that it will all work out without spending the required money is beyond me. Were they thinking it was some small town in Nebraska?

Live and learn, I suppose.
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Old 12-04-2018, 01:19 PM
 
Location: Lower East Side, NYC
2,120 posts, read 1,371,081 times
Reputation: 1534
To answer the question, it was probably the short move back when I realized how unsustainable it was to be in Brooklyn in 2010-11. It was really really terrible moving back to Chicagoland, so I saved and planned my return, taking on NYC with more of a plan than simply because I was dating a girl in the Bronx haha. It's a big country and a big world, you'll find what you want one day.
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Old 12-04-2018, 02:26 PM
 
Location: Central New Jersey
2,312 posts, read 877,007 times
Reputation: 4090
I detest NYC and avoid it like the plague. Though we will go see the tree next week, it's just not my thing either.
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Old 12-04-2018, 03:26 PM
 
1,933 posts, read 826,716 times
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I was exactly in the OP's shoes when I was 25 except I had a job, as I had finished school in California. After a year in NYC I was planning to move back to LA. Even with a decent job, a nice apartment, friends from work and relatives in NYC I was lonely. I was saving up for the move back when I met my future wife on a very crowded subway during rush hour. All that NYC lacked for me up to that point was no longer important. If you find someone to love any city will seem great.
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Old 12-04-2018, 04:07 PM
 
Location: equator
3,331 posts, read 1,492,417 times
Reputation: 8257
I think it's terrific you had this experience, OP! Good for you. Something to look back on your whole life. Don't regret it, or the $$ you spent! Once you get tied down, you will wish you'd taken the opportunity to try different lifestyles while you could.

I've lived all over the U.S. for about a year each time---just to experience various locales. Never made good money but had a great time. Now when I see or hear about these places, I can identify. Never did NYC though. Except a couple hours in Times Sq. right after 911. I don't regret any of them, except in TX where I could never find a job (had to be bilingual).

Kudos to you!
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