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Old 12-20-2018, 09:37 AM
Location: Los Angeles
12,116 posts, read 10,245,532 times
Reputation: 32967


I really WANT to move across the country and have had a few opportunities the past few years but chickened out. They weren't perfect opportunities so I didn't lose much sleep over it. But now I have another potential opportunity coming up and just thinking about it kicks my anxiety into high gear. This would be a 2000+ mile move with me, my wife, our toddler, and our cat.

Surprisingly the cat is probably the most difficult aspect of all this. I could drive her for 30+ hours over multiple days but that would drive me crazy. I could get her on a plane and be done with in 5 hours or so but then I hear stories about people complaining about cats on planes and even harassing the owners.

Then I start thinking about the logistics of everything else. Movers/moving truck/pods, securing a new place, leaving my old place and getting it cleaned out etc...It's all just very overwhelming.

In my mind I know it would only be one month of miserableness for a potential lifetime of joy so it doesn't seem rational but man that one month stressed me to the extreme haha.

I'd like to hear some stories from people who have made long moves and faced severe anxiety about it and how it all turned out. Any tips or pointers to get over the anxiety and suck it up for that month or whatever?
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Old 12-20-2018, 10:26 AM
Location: Northern panhandle WV
3,007 posts, read 2,150,818 times
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What's to be anxious about? Just go about methodically as you would with any other aspect of life. Also I don't know about that potential lifetime of joy. As for the cat, most cats do fine in a car in a carrier. I have transported two of them that way, also have had kittens flown to me from a breeder, they did fine too.
Why exactly do you think the grass will be greener on the other side of the country?
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Old 12-20-2018, 11:13 AM
13,104 posts, read 17,666,184 times
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You have been looking for excuses why not to move for as long as you have been on CD. Cat will probably be mad with you for a day or two. So what?
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Old 12-20-2018, 11:59 AM
Location: East of the Mississippi and South of Bluegrass
4,453 posts, read 3,730,370 times
Reputation: 9587
How do you get past the anxiety of a big move?

You just take it one day at a time and one foot in front of the other. In the end you will find the "anxiety" you speak of will be history once it is all over with.

I have done two long distance moves with two Shetland Sheepdogs (in my car) and their anxiety (my poor babies, I think the little girl, a rescue, thought she was being driven back to an animal shelter) gave me the most anxiety out of it all. I drove straight through, stopping to feed, water and get them out of the car for fresh air and potty breaks, it was a much longer drive than it would have been otherwise.

Sometimes you just have to have faith and it will work out in the long run...one way or the other.

ETA: "elderly" single woman without help other than professional movers to load the furniture and boxes. All the packing I started to do a year in advance...one step at a time, one foot in front of the other...breathing in and breathing out, without fear.

Best wishes to you and yours whatever you decide, sincerely.
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Old 12-20-2018, 12:06 PM
Location: Cochise county, AZ
4,936 posts, read 3,417,634 times
Reputation: 10397
Moving to Arizona terrified me at first. That was over a year ago and I am so glad I moved here.

The mountains are so beautiful and the sunsets are awesome. I'm retired so it does make a difference.

If you are offered a good opportunity, take it. Any time I took a better job than the one I had, it increased my income, knowledge and skills. It's a win-win situation.

The cat will get over it. My brother moved with three cats and everyone survived.
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Old 12-20-2018, 12:15 PM
Location: Los Angeles
12,116 posts, read 10,245,532 times
Reputation: 32967
Thanks for the replies so far.

To answer a few questions.

I want to move and think life would be better for the following: all my family lives across country, lower COL with same pay = better quality of life (can own a home), and I lived there previously and loved and miss it.

My cat isn't one who does well in the car. I did take her on a 10 hour journey once and she meowed the whole way and clawed at her carrier.
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Old 12-20-2018, 12:41 PM
1,222 posts, read 1,544,203 times
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Originally Posted by arwenmark View Post
What's to be anxious about?

There is one type of anxiety when you go for a walk and meet up with a mountain lion and that is not the same as being afraid of heights and having to maintain a death grip on the railing when you step out on a balcony. The first is rational and the latter is irrational. Both cause a chemical reaction in your body.

The question is how do you deal with irrational anxiety. I would suggest that you monitor your blood pressure as you may find the stress is impacting your blood pressure.

I have issues with my blood pressure when I go to the doctor. Normal reading is 120/60. As soon as I walk into the doctor's office my anxiety kicks in and they get a reading of 200/85 and a pulse of 120. My new doctor wanted to be sure that it was just anxiety that was causing the high reading.

He gave me a prescription for a beta blocker and a choice to take it two hours before a doctor's appointment or other event where I knew I would be anxious. Or, he could prescribe a beta blocker taken once daily if I was experiencing anxiety over an extended period of time.

Since my blood pressure is fine most of the time I chose the first option and have taken it only 5 times in the past 2 years.

I would suggest you discuss this with your doctor. A beta blocker did not eliminate my anxiety, but, it did make it more manageable.
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Old 12-20-2018, 01:42 PM
5,893 posts, read 6,667,636 times
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Get organized. Put together a specific plan. Leave nothing to chance. The actual tasks are easy.

Assuming you have a destination--as in a specific home to which you are moving--everything else is specific and not particularly difficult.

Can you use a phone? Great. Call everyone you need to call, one at a time and get utilities turned off/on, etc. Make and keep a list. Remember, they key is being organized so that no group of simple tasks becomes overwhelming.

Can you pack a box? Great. Start doing a few boxes every day a few months ahead of time.

Movers will take care of the big stuff--beds, dressers, furniture, etc. They dismantle and re-assemble when you arrive at new home.

Can you drive? Great.

Can you rent a hotel room? Perfect.

See, they are all simple tasks and you CAN do this.

Kitty goes in a carrier. Towel over the top if they are anxious. Get a "pill' from the vet if you need to give Jr. a little something to relax.

Repeat for five days and you are there.
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Old 12-20-2018, 01:45 PM
11,024 posts, read 8,447,177 times
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For the cat, Google airline approved pet carriers. As long as it can fit under the seat, the cat can ride in the cabin and will be fine. Talk to your vet to get advice on how to relax the cat. Make sure the flight attendant know the policy about carriers under the seat. Again, it has to fit under the seat.
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Old 12-20-2018, 01:58 PM
Location: equator
3,331 posts, read 1,493,144 times
Reputation: 8257
Well, TBH, I fell apart preparing to move overseas. Plus I was alone most of the time, as DH was back at our other residence taking care of a disastrous leak. My hair fell out so much it clogged the vacuum, I went to the hospital for continual vomiting, hives, kidney stones, a serious skin infection (cellulitis).

Not to discourage you at all, just be prepared for some stress symptoms. On top of regular moving stress, I was dealing with emigration paperwork, fingerprints, criminal background checks, etc.

OTOH, I moved from CA to VT alone, towing my horse---6 days. Before I had the internet. I could handle it better then, apparently. No problems back in Jan. 2001...

Moving is right up there in the top-5 stressors, along with death, divorce and job loss!
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