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Old 01-12-2019, 10:21 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
934 posts, read 401,629 times
Reputation: 454

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I notice that people follow this stupid "life script" that when they are young, they always tend to want to move to a big city and then they will regret it when they are 30, have kids and own a large house in the suburbs. People probably live in cities when they are young regardless of generation, because they go through that "20s phase",. I always see young people on the internet writing, "I moved from a rural area/small town to a big city. It is better out here." Yeah I get that small town vibes and the small town people can suck, but I have no desire to live in a city.

I live in the state of NJ and the elderly population is very overwhelming in here NJ's suburbia and it makes it very depressing. I feel like there is a lack of young people and even a lack of people my parents' age group in suburban NJ. I went to urban places in NJ like Jersey City and there are tons of young people out there and that makes me happier (I don't know how young people can afford cities in the first place), however I HATE cities and I do not want to live in a city like the normal "life script" that young people follow. I am not sure if all young people prefer cities, or if it is just a Jersey thing. It probably is a Jersey thing, because somebody did mention that NJ does have an overwhelming elderly population (and we have overwhelming immigration population issues).

I hate cities, because it just does not support my preference of lifestyle. I am more of an outdoorsy person and I'd prefer to live in semi-rural neighborhoods similar to neighborhoods of Sussex County in New Jersey for example (except I don't have a desire to live on the East Coast either). I just don't like the city for other reasons, because I get nervous driving through the city, crowds, people fighting over resources and parking spaces, people living on top of each other, protestors blocking roads, and it just sucks unless I have to be in a city for a job. I have different interests than people who like cities, because I like adventures and hiking routinely, while people choose a city to see shows, bars, museums, and city parks routinely.

I never heard one young person in my life say, "I moved out from a city and I hate the city. Living in a semi-rural is much more peaceful."

Isn't living in a semi-rural area area cheaper (semi-rural and boondocks places in NJ can sometimes be more expensive than regular areas)? Much more peaceful and offers lots of outdoor activities?

I grew up in a NJ suburb and I yearn to live in a area more semi-rural. The suburbs are kind of boring, because you don't have the stuff a city has to offer and you don't have much outdoor activities offered.

There are things I would "miss out on" by not living in a city. Cities have more ethnic diversity, more LGBT, more young people, easier to meet people, etc.

Also, I want to move from NJ to the Albuquerque area of New Mexico when I finish college. I worry if NM would be a retiree state as well besides NJ, but from other people's perspectives, Albuquerque looks suburban in real life, so it won't have the scary negatives of living in a city.

Last edited by potanta; 01-12-2019 at 10:31 PM..
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Old 01-12-2019, 10:36 PM
 
Location: Appalachian New York, Formerly Louisiana
4,091 posts, read 4,696,194 times
Reputation: 5323
Grass is greener syndrome.

Everybody wants the opposite of what they have.

Not me though. I never desired the urban life. I got into Baton Rouge by circumstance, but left as soon as I could.
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Old 01-13-2019, 12:56 AM
 
17,494 posts, read 3,971,301 times
Reputation: 5441
Quote:
Originally Posted by potanta View Post
I notice that people follow this stupid "life script" that when they are young, they always tend to want to move to a big city and then they will regret it when they are 30, have kids and own a large house in the suburbs. People probably live in cities when they are young regardless of generation, because they go through that "20s phase",. I always see young people on the internet writing, "I moved from a rural area/small town to a big city. It is better out here." Yeah I get that small town vibes and the small town people can suck, but I have no desire to live in a city.

I live in the state of NJ and the elderly population is very overwhelming in here NJ's suburbia and it makes it very depressing. I feel like there is a lack of young people and even a lack of people my parents' age group in suburban NJ. I went to urban places in NJ like Jersey City and there are tons of young people out there and that makes me happier (I don't know how young people can afford cities in the first place), however I HATE cities and I do not want to live in a city like the normal "life script" that young people follow. I am not sure if all young people prefer cities, or if it is just a Jersey thing. It probably is a Jersey thing, because somebody did mention that NJ does have an overwhelming elderly population (and we have overwhelming immigration population issues).

I hate cities, because it just does not support my preference of lifestyle. I am more of an outdoorsy person and I'd prefer to live in semi-rural neighborhoods similar to neighborhoods of Sussex County in New Jersey for example (except I don't have a desire to live on the East Coast either). I just don't like the city for other reasons, because I get nervous driving through the city, crowds, people fighting over resources and parking spaces, people living on top of each other, protestors blocking roads, and it just sucks unless I have to be in a city for a job. I have different interests than people who like cities, because I like adventures and hiking routinely, while people choose a city to see shows, bars, museums, and city parks routinely.

I never heard one young person in my life say, "I moved out from a city and I hate the city. Living in a semi-rural is much more peaceful."

Isn't living in a semi-rural area area cheaper (semi-rural and boondocks places in NJ can sometimes be more expensive than regular areas)? Much more peaceful and offers lots of outdoor activities?

I grew up in a NJ suburb and I yearn to live in a area more semi-rural. The suburbs are kind of boring, because you don't have the stuff a city has to offer and you don't have much outdoor activities offered.

There are things I would "miss out on" by not living in a city. Cities have more ethnic diversity, more LGBT, more young people, easier to meet people, etc.

Also, I want to move from NJ to the Albuquerque area of New Mexico when I finish college. I worry if NM would be a retiree state as well besides NJ, but from other people's perspectives, Albuquerque looks suburban in real life, so it won't have the scary negatives of living in a city.
Im young and I dont want to live in a big city either.
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Old 01-13-2019, 03:53 AM
Status: "On The Lookout" (set 20 days ago)
 
Location: The Triad (NC)
28,378 posts, read 61,723,541 times
Reputation: 31921
Quote:
Originally Posted by potanta View Post
I feel like I am the only young person who does not want to live in a city
It's far less about the "city' per se ...
than it is being around OTHER young SINGLE people for things like 'mate selection' (coupling and sex) opportunities
and all the work skill and career development opportunities that exist in large population centers.
If you've got these aspects of life covered out in the country or up on some mountain then good for you.

The stat to look for is when the DINK status they morph into changes (age 25? 30? 35? 40?)...
and where they then shift their lives to.
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Old 01-13-2019, 08:45 AM
 
Location: Dallas, TX and Las Vegas, NV
5,656 posts, read 4,359,364 times
Reputation: 11601
Albuquerque, Austin, Las Vegas, Boulder and several other smaller cities in areas surrounded by lots of recreational areas would fit. You want to be near job centers, around younger people and also close to great hiking, biking, kayaking, etc. So, go find a spot that offers you the balance you need between recreation, employment and social connections.

Just know that today’s retirees have health and time to enjoy many things. Many want to be near cities for cultural events, restaurants, and proximity to medical services. But many are active and also want hiking and other recreational offerings. So you have to share the planet with retirees in amost every area that appeals to you. Retirees are not likely to bring up the local crime rate or paint graffiti all over your neighborhoods. Many are awful drivers and nosy neighbors. Many take wonderful care of their properties and volunteer to help in schools, libraries, neighborhood patrols. And if you ever fall into hardship and need a free meal or place to stay, you’ll find them serving you at the food pantry or handing out supplies at the homeless shelter. They are great contributors to the meaning of the word “Community.”

At this stage in life, its perfectly understandable that you want to avoid iving where you encounter many retirees. And its somewhat possible in “hip” urban areas but not so much in the kinds of places you like.
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Old 01-13-2019, 09:42 AM
 
3,623 posts, read 2,087,932 times
Reputation: 4188
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrRational View Post
It's far less about the "city' per se ...
than it is being around OTHER young SINGLE people for things like 'mate selection' (coupling and sex) opportunities and all the work skill and career development opportunities that exist in large population centers.

This is why I live in Dallas instead of rural West Texas or Wyoming. I'd probably rather live in those places than Dallas, but I need to be in Dallas for mate selection (coupling and sex) and to make a living.
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Old 01-15-2019, 12:12 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
934 posts, read 401,629 times
Reputation: 454
Quote:
Originally Posted by WorldKlas View Post
Albuquerque, Austin, Las Vegas, Boulder and several other smaller cities in areas surrounded by lots of recreational areas would fit. You want to be near job centers, around younger people and also close to great hiking, biking, kayaking, etc. So, go find a spot that offers you the balance you need between recreation, employment and social connections.

Just know that today’s retirees have health and time to enjoy many things. Many want to be near cities for cultural events, restaurants, and proximity to medical services. But many are active and also want hiking and other recreational offerings. So you have to share the planet with retirees in amost every area that appeals to you. Retirees are not likely to bring up the local crime rate or paint graffiti all over your neighborhoods. Many are awful drivers and nosy neighbors. Many take wonderful care of their properties and volunteer to help in schools, libraries, neighborhood patrols. And if you ever fall into hardship and need a free meal or place to stay, you’ll find them serving you at the food pantry or handing out supplies at the homeless shelter. They are great contributors to the meaning of the word “Community.”

At this stage in life, its perfectly understandable that you want to avoid iving where you encounter many retirees. And its somewhat possible in “hip” urban areas but not so much in the kinds of places you like.
Today's NJ retirees are the people that are keeping brick and mortar retail alive. That's why malls in NJ never closed down compared to other regions in the US. Like you said, many of them are bad drivers, which why driving in NJ sucks to be honest due to them overwhelming the population.

Small metro areas allow me to have access to a city life full of young people and a great variety of outdoor activities. Examples can be Reno or ABQ.

Last edited by potanta; 01-15-2019 at 12:33 PM..
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Old 01-15-2019, 12:36 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
934 posts, read 401,629 times
Reputation: 454
Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ312 View Post
This is why I live in Dallas instead of rural West Texas or Wyoming. I'd probably rather live in those places than Dallas, but I need to be in Dallas for mate selection (coupling and sex) and to make a living.
Almost all jobs are available in "metropolitan areas" or close to a metropolitan area. The only way for me to have a job to live super far from civilization would be farming, and most of that would be available in the Midwest. Yes, I need to be in a metro area for mate selection. That's the best part about living in a city! Mate selection! Cities obviously have tons of white collared jobs. People say a city is unaffordable, but actually city jobs pay more than a job in the suburbs/outside the city.
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Old 01-17-2019, 12:33 PM
 
Location: Grosse Ile Michigan
26,403 posts, read 62,617,980 times
Reputation: 30145
You are not the only one, but one of few.

My son hates cities. He wanted to live anywhere but a city. He lives in downtown Austin. As far as I can tell he loves it there, but he still says he hates cities, at least cities other than Austin and Boston, . . . . and Philadelphia. (Places where he was forced to live for a summer). Younger people tend to look for excitement, and cities are more exciting. They also tend to have a younger population, so if you prefer hanging out with people your own age, a City is better for you. If you prefer quiet, downtime and people who are older or younger than you, then you may not prefer city living, but you are also not typical of younger people. Nothing wrong with being atypical.
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Old 01-19-2019, 07:55 AM
 
6,759 posts, read 3,659,242 times
Reputation: 17884
Quote:
Originally Posted by potanta View Post

I never heard one young person in my life say, "I moved out from a city and I hate the city. Living in a semi-rural is much more peaceful."

Isn't living in a semi-rural area area cheaper (semi-rural and boondocks places in NJ can sometimes be more expensive than regular areas)? Much more peaceful and offers lots of outdoor activities?

I grew up in a NJ suburb and I yearn to live in a area more semi-rural. The suburbs are kind of boring, because you don't have the stuff a city has to offer and you don't have much outdoor activities offered.

There are things I would "miss out on" by not living in a city. Cities have more ethnic diversity, more LGBT, more young people, easier to meet people, etc.

Also, I want to move from NJ to the Albuquerque area of New Mexico when I finish college. I worry if NM would be a retiree state as well besides NJ, but from other people's perspectives, Albuquerque looks suburban in real life, so it won't have the scary negatives of living in a city.
Well, I was one of those 20 somethings that hated the city. Still do. Even though the Air Force sent me to some, I didn't enjoy it. My wife and I wasted four years of our lives being stationed in Silicon Valley. Hated every minute of it. My kids tend to be more small town focused, though I'm sure as they start careers they will wind up spending some time in a big city. And hating it.


To me, even Albuquerque is a big city, though it's fairly quick to get to outdoor activities from there. As is Colorado Springs. The two cities are almost mirror images of each other, with very strong outdoor cultures.
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