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Old 01-22-2019, 05:21 AM
29 posts, read 7,994 times
Reputation: 87


I think you can know if itís right for you within a few months. Iíve traveled quite a bit and personally knew within 4 months where I am living now is not for me. Giving it a few more months due to job commitments, however, Iím already looking forward to the day I can pack my bags and say good bye!

If you have the means or another job offer on the table, go when the timing suits. I donít think Ďforcingí yourself to stay the minimum 1-2 years most recommend is necessary, unless if you have another reason keeping you put. Good Luck!

Old 01-22-2019, 09:02 AM
Location: Dallas, TX and Las Vegas, NV
5,632 posts, read 4,335,674 times
Reputation: 11515
Originally Posted by tijlover View Post
One thing to consider when moving somewhere is: What if I get tired of this city, I made a mistake, or I just get bored with it, where can I slip off to for a weekend, within 2-3 hours away?

With Oklahoma City it's an easy drive to both Kansas City or Dallas or Dullsa, I mean, Tulsa!

With Houston, you can run off to Dallas or Austin or even New Orleans.

And God forbid, you get tired of Denver or even Minneapolis, both very isolated cities.

Love can turn to hate in a split second, hate can turn to love in a split second. When I moved to Las Vegas in 1996 it was very exciting to me for about 10 years, then all turned to hate and I wanted out, but I got caught up in the RE crash and I finally made my exit last June to Tucson. So far, I'm in love with it, being in a liberal city again and a one hour drive to Mexico.

Just wait until you go thru your first summer in Houston!
ďRun offĒ to Dallas is a long, long drive. Short flight but then youíll need to rent a car.
Old 01-22-2019, 06:13 PM
Location: NC
2,097 posts, read 1,125,164 times
Reputation: 5106
We gave it 3 years. We love the mountains of NC and have incredible views, but it's not the place for us. We are supposed to close on our new home in 10 days back east. We gave it a good run, but realized that we are not mountain folks, and that's okay.
Old 01-23-2019, 09:54 AM
876 posts, read 262,463 times
Reputation: 1922
Originally Posted by goldenlove View Post
We gave it 3 years. We love the mountains of NC and have incredible views, but it's not the place for us. We are supposed to close on our new home in 10 days back east. We gave it a good run, but realized that we are not mountain folks, and that's okay.
Exactly how I felt about Boston. It doesn't always work out.
Old 01-23-2019, 11:51 AM
Location: Seattle, Wa
1,839 posts, read 1,355,952 times
Reputation: 3894
I love LA also , always have always will . I even have a niche at Hollywood Forever . I like the people there much better . I am originally from Texas and you could not pay me to return there . I am an 8th gen Texan and still just no . I got out early and saw and did and remain adventurous so Texas and the mindset you discovered seems very limiting to me now.
I had been living almost 10 years in Seattle before my husband moved me to a small area of cities in southern Oregon last summer . I got very sick here in Oct after a monitored withdrawal off of some Rxed meds and I am going downhill quickly . So in my case I am going to have to throw in the towel due to total lack of compassion and life endangering lack of medical care .
You can give it some time but for me , life is too short . If I can get well from this I think we are going back to my husbands home country in Europe where we lived peacefully for years . He is about to throw in the towel on this whole thing .

In regards to other posts - I have yet to see anyone from Ca destroy anything. However I do tell my Cal friends that see themselves as right of center , which are few ,that they need to spend some time in Texas before they make that leap . That it may be something they are not prepared for.

Last edited by DutchessCottonPuff; 01-23-2019 at 12:15 PM..
Old 01-27-2019, 07:43 AM
3,613 posts, read 2,076,212 times
Reputation: 4170
Originally Posted by AmericaBravoCharles View Post
Well, by contrast, I’ve just moved from L.A. to Houston. For all the talk of Southern hospitality, I find the women far less approachable and more b**chy, the coworkers far less social (polite but distant), the people in Meetup groups less engaging, and the Texas collective-cultural mindset one of strange braggadocio. Not to mention, the city isn’t particularly attractive, downtown is dead after 6pm, and even the park system here is rather grungy and poorly maintained. The nearby Gulf coastal areas are some of the truly ugliest coastal-front areas I’ve seen anywhere on the planet.

I don’t want to write Houston, and Texas, off just yet, as I’m still relatively new here, but my patience is also waning rather quickly.

How long do you give a new city before deciding whether you like it or want to bail?
I think this is a great question and it is certainly one that I've grappled with during the course of my adult life. I've lived in Dallas since 2011, and there have been many times where I've thought about bailing on Dallas. Dallas has been a rather mixed bag for me, and there have been times where it would have been justifiable for me to depart. A better alternative never truly emerged, but consideration has been given to relocation at times.

I moved to Phoenix right after college graduation and I had a rather short hook with Phoenix. Phoenix was such a poor fit for me given the stage of life I was in at the time and what I needed out of a place at that point. I was glad to depart.

The comments that you have about Southern hospitality in Houston apply to Dallas as well. What's amazing about this commentary is that a lot of Dallas residents think that Houston is a more reasonable place and less ferocious dating market.

The people in their 20s and 30s that I have seen that have been most successful with their dating outcomes have a fairly similar profile. They tended to live in the same city from birth until high school graduation. If they went to college, they went off to college at a place that was within the same region, maybe 2-4 hours driving from their hometown. After college, if they were not already in a serious relationship, they tended to return to the city where they spent their formative years. Often times, this city was not a huge city, but a midsized metro of approximately 150,000 - 600,000 in population. These midsized are a sweet spot. They are large enough that they avoid the primary problem of small town dating because the selection isn't too limited. At the same time, they avoid the biggest problem of big city dating, which is too big of a dating pool where females won't commit to anything but the absolute best because females have way too many options in a big city and their expectations are sky high.

I would not necessarily recommend moving to one of these midsized metros if you don't already have roots in that particular midsized metro.

Some of the least successful, most miserable daters of both sexes also follow a similar profile. Often times, they moved around as children, not having roots in a city. When you don't have roots from your formative years to rely upon as a adult, it makes building a social network as an adult far more difficult. Additionally, these rootless children are often turning into rootless adults, moving from one large city dating cesspool to another large city dating cesspool. These people tend to have shorter relationships because they have no social circle that they can use anywhere to draw upon. They are forced to interact with random people in the bars, apps like Tinder/Bumble, or non-bar venues like the gym or grocery store. The level of difficulty in turning cold approaches in any of those formats into something sustainable is so much higher. In this situation, if a person is able to churn out 2-3, 2+ year relationships out of cold approaching or using dating sites/apps in the same geography out of a 5-10 year span in a city, they are doing well.

Generally speaking, if moves can be avoided, they should be. OP seems rather rootless, and his rootlessness in Houston isn't going to work to his favor. If he has greater roots in Los Angeles, perhaps a return to Los Angeles could make sense.
Old 01-28-2019, 12:30 PM
Location: Tennessee
23,229 posts, read 17,263,344 times
Reputation: 27099
Especially in a city that large, I'd give it one to two years.

I moved from Tennessee to Indianapolis in 2014. It took three to six months just to feel comfortable in my day-to-day life and sort of get my bearings. I did a lot of exploring the city and the general area - nearby parks, lakes, festivals, even the small towns and rural areas.

After a year, I felt comfortable enough that I decided I was going to stay there for the foreseeable future. Had the job worked out better, I probably would still be there.
Old 01-29-2019, 02:04 PM
Location: Grosse Ile Michigan
26,336 posts, read 62,499,114 times
Reputation: 29980
18 years
Old 02-02-2019, 06:40 PM
84 posts, read 44,342 times
Reputation: 245

I’ve since attended a slew of Meetup events, networked very extensively for my work, picked up hobbies afresh or once again, and even continue to casually chat with several women (not single moms, they usually have agendas!) met through Meetup or dating apps.

My opinion of Houston hasn’t changed, but I’m forcing myself to stay so busy that I’m figuring that things will have to come together, or I’ll mostly keep my mind off my dislike of this place until I can move on.

For what it’s worth, generally speaking, of the fellow transplants I’ve met here, the ones from the South (e.g., Mississippi, Louisiana, Arkansas) tend to love Texas, and those from Rocky Mountain and Pacific states would love to go back home. Native Texans are a strange combination of either overly, enthusiastically welcoming, almost to the point of it seeming fake, or being overtly standoffish and even rather curt.

Speaking of single moms, the amount of young single moms I’ve met here far exceeds any place else I’ve lived around the world. Literally. No, thanks.

Los Angeles was still much easier only three months in than Houston has been.
Old 02-05-2019, 12:50 PM
Location: state of transition
98 posts, read 41,775 times
Reputation: 206
One place I moved to that I didn't enjoy at all was the SF Bay Area. I remember being so excited to move there. I would be near the Silicon Valley and in California! Oh, the hype! I got there and I was so disappointed. I hated it. 3 and a half years later, I still did not like it there and knew it was time to move.

When I moved, I oddly missed it for a week (because we humans are creatures of habit.)

I knew I made the right move leaving the Bay Area because after giving it 3 1/2 years and still hating it, I knew that my heart wouldn't change.
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