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Old 01-27-2019, 02:17 PM
 
25 posts, read 8,065 times
Reputation: 34

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Moving by oneself, or moving a family, are certainly quite different.

I have no idea how to evaluate this, so i'm throwing it out there.

We first have no clue where we're moving, except know it's happening, and probably SE or SW. Depends where employment will be.

We're not Americans. We live in Canada. 2 kids. And the woman has very little social skills.

How screwed am I?
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Old 01-27-2019, 02:38 PM
 
134 posts, read 45,410 times
Reputation: 583
If you think you are screwed, then you will be.


Think of it in the positive as an adventure. I have moved over 20 times all over the west coast and overseas.


Would your employer maybe provide you with a sponsor to help you around when you first arrive? Would your employer let you have a pre-move trip before the actual move to find an apartment/house? And once you arrive, would your employer give you a few days to get your affairs in order (e.g., register your car, open a bank account, start utilities, get the kids in school, etc.).



Put together a file with all your important papers (e.g., kids' immunization and school records, passports, proof of insurance, birth certificates, recent utility bills, etc.).



When you move to a new place, watch and learn. Be friendly, but cautious. And avoid talking about sex, religion, and politics when you first arrive (topics which are inappropriate for the work place environment anyway).



Folks kind of mind their own business, so having little social skills would probably not be a show stopper.
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Old 01-27-2019, 03:06 PM
Status: "could've~would've~should've used 'have', not 'of'" (set 18 days ago)
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
10,469 posts, read 14,312,551 times
Reputation: 23254
Quote:
Originally Posted by BaldRWBEagle View Post
Moving by oneself, or moving a family, are certainly quite different.

I have no idea how to evaluate this, so i'm throwing it out there.

We first have no clue where we're moving, except know it's happening, and probably SE or SW. Depends where employment will be.

We're not Americans. We live in Canada. 2 kids. And the woman has very little social skills.

How screwed am I?
More info?
Are you moving with an employer, or are you just tossing out resumes/applications and heading out to wherever you get the first acceptance?
How old are the kids? Old enough for daycare or school? Are you worried about them fitting in?
How are your own social skills, do you make friends easily? Will you be inviting people to your home and know how to make them feel comfortable, and know how to make your wife(?) comfortable with that?

I moved with my company, 700 miles away from everyone and everything familiar. It was fine, but I don't require much in the way of socialization, and I'm pretty good at researching and exploring things on my own.
How 'screwed' you are depends on your expectations and how competent you are at meeting them.
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Old 01-27-2019, 04:11 PM
 
25 posts, read 8,065 times
Reputation: 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT View Post
More info?
Are you moving with an employer, or are you just tossing out resumes/applications and heading out to wherever you get the first acceptance?
How old are the kids? Old enough for daycare or school? Are you worried about them fitting in?
How are your own social skills, do you make friends easily? Will you be inviting people to your home and know how to make them feel comfortable, and know how to make your wife(?) comfortable with that?

I moved with my company, 700 miles away from everyone and everything familiar. It was fine, but I don't require much in the way of socialization, and I'm pretty good at researching and exploring things on my own.
How 'screwed' you are depends on your expectations and how competent you are at meeting them.
Moving with the first good option employment.

Kids are quite young. That's not a main issue.

I am quite good socially. It is my wife who in years living in her own entourage, never managed to build one relationship or invite anyone. I'm always the drive for that, and it eventually fails coz usually women build those bridges.... .

I have moved huge places by myself, no issues there. But in a family... hence my OP..

I don't know how we'll make it with others, if in her own milieu she sucks at building relationships, what's gonna happen in a strange land to her.
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Old 01-27-2019, 04:32 PM
Status: "could've~would've~should've used 'have', not 'of'" (set 18 days ago)
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
10,469 posts, read 14,312,551 times
Reputation: 23254
Quote:
Originally Posted by BaldRWBEagle View Post
Moving with the first good option employment.

Kids are quite young. That's not a main issue.

I am quite good socially. It is my wife who in years living in her own entourage, never managed to build one relationship or invite anyone. I'm always the drive for that, and it eventually fails coz usually women build those bridges.... .

I have moved huge places by myself, no issues there. But in a family... hence my OP..

I don't know how we'll make it with others, if in her own milieu she sucks at building relationships, what's gonna happen in a strange land to her.
By any chance are you projecting your own need onto your wife? Does it matter to HER that she doesn't have much outside social contact? Why can't you be the relationship builder?
Also once your kids begin a daycare or school program your wife will have ample opportunity to meet other parents and there will already be something of a common bond in place to help her foster new relationships if she so desires. Some people don't desire. I never could make my ex husband understand that my lack of a social circle was a much bigger problem in his eyes than it ever was in mine.
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Old 01-27-2019, 04:35 PM
 
2,512 posts, read 1,331,352 times
Reputation: 4607
Quote:
Originally Posted by BaldRWBEagle View Post
Moving with the first good option employment.

Kids are quite young. That's not a main issue.

I am quite good socially. It is my wife who in years living in her own entourage, never managed to build one relationship or invite anyone. I'm always the drive for that, and it eventually fails coz usually women build those bridges.... .

I have moved huge places by myself, no issues there. But in a family... hence my OP..

I don't know how we'll make it with others, if in her own milieu she sucks at building relationships, what's gonna happen in a strange land to her.

You know that men can get involved in school and extracurricular activities as well too right?

Volunteer to coach a team or join a scout troop. Volunteer at your kids' schools. Endless opportunities there. Communities are always looking for men and women to get involved, and most activities take place after work hours now.
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Old 01-28-2019, 02:41 PM
 
Location: on the wind
7,102 posts, read 2,916,317 times
Reputation: 24057
Quote:
Originally Posted by BaldRWBEagle View Post
We're not Americans. We live in Canada. 2 kids. And the woman has very little social skills.
How screwed am I?
"the woman"???? You meant your wife and mother of your children, not some random woman on the street right?

"How screwed am I"???? You meant how screwed your family is right?

Can only hope you were being facetious.
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Old 01-28-2019, 02:50 PM
 
Location: Leominster, Massachusetts
23 posts, read 11,149 times
Reputation: 16
Just do some research, be positive your not screwed, save some money 1st, research then decide, dont just leave willy nilly.
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Old 01-28-2019, 08:05 PM
 
Location: Wasilla, AK
7,241 posts, read 4,132,331 times
Reputation: 15643
Quote:
Originally Posted by BaldRWBEagle View Post
I don't know how we'll make it with others, if in her own milieu she sucks at building relationships, what's gonna happen in a strange land to her.

If she was born and raised in Canada she shouldn't find the US to be too much different.
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Old 01-29-2019, 05:36 AM
 
Location: North Dakota
7,728 posts, read 9,024,418 times
Reputation: 11099
Quote:
Originally Posted by BaldRWBEagle View Post
Moving by oneself, or moving a family, are certainly quite different.

I have no idea how to evaluate this, so i'm throwing it out there.

We first have no clue where we're moving, except know it's happening, and probably SE or SW. Depends where employment will be.

We're not Americans. We live in Canada. 2 kids. And the woman has very little social skills.

How screwed am I?
You don't know where you're moving? How the hell does that work?!
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