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my thinking is that if you are THIS miserable now then perhaps you should rethink the move and find a job with another company. Because I wanted to move and am glad I moved but it's difficult in the best of circumstances to relocate. Seriously it sounds as though you might need to stay put. Best of luck.
I appreciate your honesty. Unfortunately, I don't have the opportunity/option of staying here, as my position/skill set is very specialized, plus the market for it here is already saturated. I HAVE to leave; no doubt about it. I'm looking mainly for how to cope, and how others survived this. I HAVE moved across the country before (lived 5 hours by plane from family), but moving to FL was easier, because my family was waiting here for me. I guess I just please need ideas for getting through this. It's so sad right now. Thanks for the input.
>>I'm looking mainly for how to cope, and how others survived this.
We may be moving too in the near future, I'd like to feel comfy about it
as well. I guess everyone has their own way of coping. Stay connected
through phone & email at first. Finding a new friend would help too.
I wish you good luck!
I am so glad you posted this question -- we are considering a big move right now. We currently live in the midwest and our destination is unknown.
I am very nervous about leaving family behind. We plan to only be gone a couple of years as both of us like the idea of trying out someplace new for the adventure, but mainly for the fact that there aren't many jobs in our area.
My soon to be fiance is an engineer -- industrial, manufacturing, this type of engineer. He just recently graduated college, but can't seem to find a decent paying job in the area -- in fact, not many jobs at all.
I have been talking with my best friend and her husband. He is a geologist. They are willing to consider a move with us and we are both excited about it. How many times in life do your best friends say that they would move across the country with you? Not many! It is wonderful and we want to make it work... But...
THE PROBLEM: Where can we find good paying jobs for both a geologist and an entry-level engineer?
Moving is a big big step. I don't think you fully get it, until the "dust" settles after the move. I moved away with my family about 18 months ago, and at first it was exciting and new and adventurous!!! And then you are so "busy" getting settled. As I was trying to make friends, I found what I was really looking for is the familiarity that you get with people you know your whole life. At least, that's what I think I'm looking for. (I'm 38) Somebody said it earlier, that even though you may not "see" people all the time, you still know they are there. Moving away - 18 hour drive - 3 hour flight - has taught me - how much to appreciate what is at "home". I am glad to have had this experience; it has made my life fuller and richer, but I must say it is difficult at times. Now the weather is pretty darn good where I am now - very nice. But Ithink as you think about things, it comes down to "what do you really want?" Not your friends want, or family, an sometimes not even a spouse. What do you want? Which for me wasn't that clear, until I put this mileage between my extened family and where I am now. So - we'll see; I'm still trying to hedge a way to make it all work; maybe spend more time with extende family in summer. There's got to be perfect solutions everywhere. Getting involved helps, putting yourself out there helps, and having thick skin helps. Just like a kid making friends, you realize, everybody doesn't want to be your friend. You get over it. You try and invest your time wisely with quality people and situations. You have got to be positive!! I don't think there can be any one answer. I am glad I did this "for now", because if I did not, I would have never known what it would be like, and I think I would have always wondered. There is comfort in "you can always go back home". I guess you really can. I don't mind moving packing to much. The expense is great though - moving expense, housing, finding temporary, permanent housing..... (Unless a company picks all that up - beautiful!!!! We don't have a crystal ball... but I think it helps to talk to people who have been through similar situations and really listen to pros and cons. Don't listen to people giving you advice who aren't thinking about moving at all. From my experience these people were very negative, and in the end they told me, "I always wanted to do that!" Good Luck
Moving is a big big step. I don't think you fully get it, until the "dust" settles after the move. I moved away with my family about 18 months ago, and at first it was exciting and new and adventurous!!! And then you are so "busy" getting settled. As I was trying to make friends, I found what I was really looking for is the familiarity that you get with people you know your whole life. At least, that's what I think I'm looking for. (I'm 38) Somebody said it earlier, that even though you may not "see" people all the time, you still know they are there. Moving away - 18 hour drive - 3 hour flight - has taught me - how much to appreciate what is at "home". I am glad to have had this experience; it has made my life fuller and richer, but I must say it is difficult at times. Now the weather is pretty darn good where I am now - very nice. But Ithink as you think about things, it comes down to "what do you really want?" Not your friends want, or family, an sometimes not even a spouse. What do you want? Which for me wasn't that clear, until I put this mileage between my extened family and where I am now. So - we'll see; I'm still trying to hedge a way to make it all work; maybe spend more time with extende family in summer. There's got to be perfect solutions everywhere. Getting involved helps, putting yourself out there helps, and having thick skin helps. Just like a kid making friends, you realize, everybody doesn't want to be your friend. You get over it. You try and invest your time wisely with quality people and situations. You have got to be positive!! I don't think there can be any one answer. I am glad I did this "for now", because if I did not, I would have never known what it would be like, and I think I would have always wondered. There is comfort in "you can always go back home". I guess you really can. I don't mind moving packing to much. The expense is great though - moving expense, housing, finding temporary, permanent housing..... (Unless a company picks all that up - beautiful!!!! We don't have a crystal ball... but I think it helps to talk to people who have been through similar situations and really listen to pros and cons. Don't listen to people giving you advice who aren't thinking about moving at all. From my experience these people were very negative, and in the end they told me, "I always wanted to do that!" Good Luck
Very nicely said!
We are relocating in a few weeks away from family & friends. It is bitter sweet at this point. We are creating a better life for ourselves (husband, myself & 3 children), but it is very hard to leave evrything you have ever known!!
I am very excited.. but very scared as well! I'm sure these mixed feelings are normal. I can only hope that it all works out as good as we think it will and that our friends and family will visit often!! Best of luck to everyone
MOM2ThREE,
I am very excited for you!
I don't know if you've ever done this before, if not, my only advice to you from a 3o-something mom with a high priority family life, is to set boundaries with "incoming" visitors. We invited the whole world, and many came; we are close to beach. This was a bit hard on our "family" life. So, I hope that helps. I wish I would have set better boundaries,and got my calandar out, and "freed up" more weekends just for my family in between. I wish i communicated better with visitors... example.... here are my ideas for the weekend.. what do you have in mind... and try to get specifics. My company tended to be vague.. an say "whatever" on the phone, but in person... really wanted to go sightseeing... or some specific things. I wish I would have said over the phone: "Here are some options. I may not be able to do everything on your list... but I'll help you to achieve that.. so that nobody is disappointed. Some people were taking their "family vacation" to see us..and I found out... that caused a lot of pressure to make sure everybody was happy.
A week from now I will be in a new home. state and everything will change. I very sad and cry often but I know how I deal with this will help how my kids will. I just don't know how to leave all I know. I guess at heart I'm not a big adventure person. I'm trying and I decided that I really need to say good bye here before I can say hello. I'm scared myself and I know the first year will be very hard. The biggest issue is leaving my three older kids. Who are on their own and I know they will visit, but I'm a Mom and always will be. It is hard
reese 7
Ever read The Power of Now? This book may help; it has helped me to focus on the right now! I found it hardest during my recent move, when I kept living int he past. Power Of Now - helped me to take each new day and to take it for what it is. I e-mailed a good friend a lot at first. That helped me a lot. This may sound a litlle crazy, but I also read The Secret a lot the first few months, and that really helped/helps with envisioning what your life to be. I wanted friends - so I tried to envision it, and I made concrete plans. I bought tickets to the theater - something that I enjoy - and invited an aquaintance. With your impending move, perhaps concrete plans will help - and maybe invisioning how you want it to go will bring anout your outcome - I have really seen this happen. Also, a friend who ha moved a on time ago always said whe had pland made for when she would wee loved ones again - example.. I will see you On April 3rd. I found that helped me. As I visited with people the first year - i never really said - see you whenever - especially close family - I always said.. I will see you soon - in 3 months etc. Hope this helps. PS I also met people very far from home - Germans living in US and that made my 3 hour plane ride "home" seem like nothing.
I'm moving to Denver in 3 weeks and am pretty nervous. I've grown up in Phx my whole life and am leaving life long friends behind. My parents and whole family actually moved up there 3 years ago, but I stayed to finish up at ASU. It's been kind of an emotional rollercoaster from excitement, nervousness, to just being scared to death. Mainly in finding a good job with the economy being what it is. I am also going to be away from my girlfriend for 5 months until she is done with school, so that's hard as well. I have always seen myself raising a family and living there, but it is still hard to leave a place you've lived in for 26 years. I rely on God and support from family to help me. I always think about a quote from the movie the beach.
"So never refuse an invitation, never resist the unfamiliar, never fail to be polite and never outstay the welcome. Just keep your mind open and suck in the experience. And if it hurts, you know what? It's probably worth it.
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. I HAVE to leave; no doubt about it. I'm looking mainly for how to cope, and how others survived this
. I HAVE moved across the country before (lived 5 hours by plane from family), but moving to FL was easier, because my family was waiting here for me. I guess I just please need ideas for getting through this. It's so sad right now. Thanks for the input.
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