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I moved on Memorial Day to a brand new city where I knew nobody. I've had a ton of fun, but outside of work folks (which based on the nature of my work I don't see often), I haven't met anybody. I've gone out to the bars for a beer or two almost every night. I've gone to festivals, etc. I haven't eaten a single meal in my apartment.
I know three weeks is too soon to expect to have a life built, but I'm trying to figure out what a good baseline is on establising a social network. Anyone with experience moving to a new city able to share?
Two years. I moved from Salem, Oregon to Escondido, California. It was difficult. California is its own entity, much different from Oregon. I was ready to move back after six months. I had people tell me that it takes two years to become fully acclimated to a new city.
I was fortunate. I had visitors literally every month for two years, so I was always entertaining someone. That helped the time go by. Then, after the two years were up, I moved to Huntington Beach. I started meeting people in my apartment complex, I started attending a church down the street and got involved there. I thrived for six more years before returning to Oregon--because I was sick of California.
It is possible. I fully believe that the two year schedule is true. You need to wash off the old city and try on the new, see how it fits, take it in here, let it out there. Decided what you like and avoid what you don't.
Bars are not the way to go. If you're not into church, there's other things--work-related functions, civic groups, etc. What are you interested in? You have to get creative and take a real hard look at your life, what you want and how you're going to get it.
I have moved 4 times in the past 8 years, and for me, it takes no time at all to find my nitch. However, that's because I am a stay at home mom to three little boys, and all I have to do is find my fellow mommy people - at the park, book store, library, swim lessons, preschool, soccer, pool, etc. - and I'm golden!
I am a people collector, and have no problem striking up a converstaion and exchanging numbers- my husband teases me that I pick up women way better than he ever did - so in no time, I get myself plugged in.
I guess you just have to find out where your people are - and go there.
Volunteer to do something you are interested in.. Working with animals, hospitals, nursing homes, at schools... anyplace that need people to help out. Find groups to join, find a church that has groups you could join.
Many years ago when I got my divorce I joined a group called parents without partners. Had been married for so long I had no friends of my own and married people just don't want you around when you are suddenly single. I found PWP and made many, many long time friends there. Through those people I met other people.
I recently moved to a area where I didn't know anybody and started volunteering and have met people through my volunteer work. You just have to put yourself out there where you can meet people, you can't meet them sitting at home.
I moved on Memorial Day to a brand new city where I knew nobody. I've had a ton of fun, but outside of work folks (which based on the nature of my work I don't see often), I haven't met anybody. I've gone out to the bars for a beer or two almost every night. I've gone to festivals, etc. I haven't eaten a single meal in my apartment.
I know three weeks is too soon to expect to have a life built, but I'm trying to figure out what a good baseline is on establising a social network. Anyone with experience moving to a new city able to share?
It may depend on the city, but in Boston about 4-5 months- I found the people friendly, it takes time, the Public Garden in summer, people may stop and talk, coffee shoppes, etc...I would give it time and just try new things- where I am living now is so isolated I cant wait to be in a big city again!.
Location: Pittsburgh--Home of the 6 time Super Bowl Champions!
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I think anything less than 6 months is not giving the new city a fair shake. Have you tried Real groups make a real difference - Meetup.com ? Most major cities have this and whatever your interests are, I am sure you can find a group to join. Check it out!
Location: Pittsburgh--Home of the 6 time Super Bowl Champions!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Laura707
You just have to put yourself out there where you can meet people, you can't meet them sitting at home.
I think if you read the OP post you can see he is not sitting at home He is out there trying to meet people, ie: going to festivals, going out for a beer every night, eating dinner out every night...
Beside just "going out" be sure to "get involved"...
like one post mentioned, volunteer... find what you enjoy doing and find a couple of groups/clubs/organizations that are in that arena and volunteer for them...
in Omaha the Chamber of Commerce actually has a Young Professionals organization for the very purpose of connecting people in a social network, check out those type of options in your town.
if you play any sport look for an adult league and get on a team.
I'm into Mountain Biking and I meet two great people just riding and joining them on the trails. We almost hook up every weekend, which is the ONLY time I got anyways.
Sorry to hear you are having trouble finding friends, but I think bars in general is not a good place to start (unless your trying to pickup a dude or a gal / however you swing).
Friends are dime a dozen, then you have acquaintances and last "users".
My closest friends that I can trust 98% of the time are in differnt states, so all my co-buddies; I consider them as acquaintances (as we're cool, but don't expect to borrow money and never pay me back ).
Are you religious, join a church? What are your hobbies? Get involved with some groups or leagues. Coworkers?
I've been lucky, even though I'm far from "home" I have my family with me. I'm a sahm but meet my new friends at school with the kids, where I work out, church, the library, etc....
Good luck! It would be hard to make a move all alone!
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- I found the people friendly, it takes time, the Public Garden in summer, people may stop and talk, coffee shoppes, etc...I would give it time and just try new things- where I am living now is so isolated I cant wait to be in a big city again!.
He is out there trying to meet people, ie: going to festivals, going out for a beer every night, eating dinner out every night...
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