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Please do not do this. The damage, while unmeasurable, will outweigh the benefit of the job, insurance, etc. Don't even let anyone know that you entertained the thought.
This is not the same but, we have three grandchildren all 10 and under. Thier mother, our daughter is a single mom.
Because of her hours at work they stay with us 3 to 4 days aweek 24 hours a day..It's thier second home...They don't see mom in those 3 or 4 days but it's better for them because they don't have to get up at 5 am because mom has to.
And they are just fine....Mom takes them places on her days off and they have a good time with her..
They all do well in school and are very happy here and at moms...
So as long as they are with someone that loves them they will probably be ok...But you being far away, it will be important for you to stay in contact with them..
On her job she also gets 7 to 10 days off at a time at times and that helps.
Thank you. That is the type of post I was looking for.
Two of my children are young and my third child is 18. Like I mentioned, of course!, I want to bring them with me. D*mned if I do and d*amned if I don't kind of situation. I've already decided that if their father throws a fit (which he could go either way, hard to say) that I will more than likely stay. But if the $$ at the job is really good, I will be offering him to pay less child support of course. The insurance issues will obviously benefit them as well as me as will the better hours that I will have (I work until 3:30 am now and get up at noon usually).
How will the hours benefit them if you are not even in the same state???
Do you have your answer ready when they want to know why your job was more important to you than they are ???
That is what I want to know.
You are choosing to go live in a "dream" state and miss so many
special moments with your kids. How can you be on top of all their
sicknesses, heartaches, decisions, and friend choices from far away.
A good mom should be close by to encourage , love and guide a child.
I cannot imagine leaving my children behind .
I also think it is very selfish.
Moms usually put their kids needs before their own, but you seeem to
put yourself first.
With your lack of committment maybe they willl be better off with their
dad.
I usually do not word my post this strong but your idea that kids can be "left behind" really makes me mad.
I have a couple of female friends who did it. The kids always seemed confused. At some point each have confronted the mother as to why she deserted them. People were/are very harsh in their judgement towards mothers who do this. Not so much with fathers that do it. People are much more forgiving of them. I have no opinion one way or the other; just sharing what I've seen.
How will the hours benefit them if you are not even in the same state???
Do you have your answer ready when they want to know why your job was more important to you than they are ???
That is what I want to know.
You are choosing to go live in a "dream" state and miss so many
special moments with your kids. How can you be on top of all their
sicknesses, heartaches, decisions, and friend choices from far away.
A good mom should be close by to encourage , love and guide a child.
I cannot imagine leaving my children behind .
I also think it is very selfish.
Moms usually put their kids needs before their own, but you seeem to
put yourself first.
With your lack of committment maybe they willl be better off with their
dad.
I usually do not word my post this strong but your idea that kids can be "left behind" really makes me mad.
OP was referring to better hours if the children were with her-if the dad doesn't blow a fit.
I would like to know what qualifies a female as the better parent? If both are just as good as each other as far as loving, caring, nuturing, providing...then why is it assumed that the female parent should always be the number one? I would be ticked if I were the male. If a man moves away, is that not considered "as bad" as the woman?
Good luck to the OP and I believe she was not really looking to be hung out to dry. Just wondering what others experienced in this type of situation, not moral opinions. I believe she knows those already.
I would like to know what qualifies a female as the better parent? If both are just as good as each other as far as loving, caring, nuturing, providing...then why is it assumed that the female parent should always be the number one? I would be ticked if I were the male. If a man moves away, is that not considered "as bad" as the woman?.
I have no respect for any parent (mother or father) that moves far
away from their small kids unless they have no choice. Divorce
does not change the fact that kids need parental involvement
from both parents if they are fit parents.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kimba01
Good luck to the OP and I believe she was not really looking to be hung out to dry. Just wondering what others experienced in this type of situation, not moral opinions. I believe she knows those already.?.
Sorry but if I read a post about something I think is harmful to a child
I am going to post all day long. Kids deserve better.
I have an old friend from grade school, she has 4 children. She has left her husband and children and moved back to Mass. Their children range in age from 16 down to 6. The children know they can't trust or rely on their Mother. It has permanently destroyed their trust in her. Its an incredibly irresponsible action to take and you will forever harm your children if you do it. That will be YOUR responsibility and only yours. You will probably NEVER be able to rebuild the harm you do by walking away.
My friend does have the younger kids come to visit her but the son who is 16 will have nothing to do with her. the younger ones that are visiting her during the summer are on the phone with their Father all the time to get a feeling of security from him because they know their Mother is no one to rely on.
I have an old friend from grade school, she has 4 children. She has left her husband and children and moved back to Mass. Their children range in age from 16 down to 6. The children know they can't trust or rely on their Mother. It has permanently destroyed their trust in her. Its an incredibly irresponsible action to take and you will forever harm your children if you do it. That will be YOUR responsibility and only yours. You will probably NEVER be able to rebuild the harm you do by walking away.
My friend does have the younger kids come to visit her but the son who is 16 will have nothing to do with her. the younger ones that are visiting her during the summer are on the phone with their Father all the time to get a feeling of security from him because they know their Mother is no one to rely on.
You owe your children more then this.
Its an incredibly irresponsible action to take and you will forever harm your children if you do it.
Since you do not know me or my situation any more than what I have posted, this is a very strong statement.
Again, I thank you for your post regarding your friend. That is the type of post I was looking for.
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