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Old 07-06-2008, 04:22 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
122 posts, read 425,163 times
Reputation: 43

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katie1 View Post
Its hard enough to see posters on here drop there animals because of dumb reasons...But for a mother to do this to her kids unreal.

But then I think the kids would be better off with the dad than this mom. I would hate to wonder if this turned into another Susan Smith case!!
Oh, please, give me a break.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

I thank those posters who had thoughtful responses to my topic and who actually answered to what I was asking.

 
Old 07-06-2008, 09:28 PM
 
Location: Home!
8,710 posts, read 10,367,056 times
Reputation: 8511
Quote:
Originally Posted by kelly237 View Post
I have no respect for any parent (mother or father) that moves far
away from their small kids unless they have no choice. Divorce
does not change the fact that kids need parental involvement
from both parents if they are fit parents.




Sorry but if I read a post about something I think is harmful to a child
I am going to post all day long. Kids deserve better.

There are many children out there that could benefit from your strong feelings. In much, much worse situations. While OP's situation may not be the greatest, it is far from the worst. You should definitely consider a job as a child advocate.

You certainly don't have to be sorry for posting, but I think the extreme drama is a bit much. She did not say she WAS doing it, just doing a little research into the reality of it. From all sides. I applaud that as opposed to not thinking it through at all and just going.
 
Old 07-06-2008, 09:32 PM
 
Location: Home!
8,710 posts, read 10,367,056 times
Reputation: 8511
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katie1 View Post
Its hard enough to see posters on here drop there animals because of dumb reasons...But for a mother to do this to her kids unreal.

But then I think the kids would be better off with the dad than this mom. I would hate to wonder if this turned into another Susan Smith case!!

Downright rude and uncalled for. You equate her asking a question with a mother who murdered her children?

That's the type of drama I was referring to in my previous post. You could do much better by voicing your thoughts in a civil manner.
 
Old 07-06-2008, 10:02 PM
 
8,076 posts, read 13,386,467 times
Reputation: 10321
Quote:
Originally Posted by kimba01 View Post
Downright rude and uncalled for. You equate her asking a question with a mother who murdered her children?

That's the type of drama I was referring to in my previous post. You could do much better by voicing your thoughts in a civil manner.

I guess something about moms who consider abandoning their kids makes us all a little angry. Yes... I said abandon. Just because someone else will take care of them does not change that you chose to wash your hands of the inconvience of raising them to move to your "dream state"
How could you enjoy yourself knowing you left kids behind that need their mom?
 
Old 07-06-2008, 10:11 PM
 
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
10,732 posts, read 31,678,348 times
Reputation: 6772
Quote:
Originally Posted by kelly237 View Post
I guess something about moms who consider abandoning their kids makes us all a little angry. Yes... I said abandon. Just because someone else will take care of them does not change that you chose to wash your hands of the inconvience of raising them to move to your "dream state"
How could you enjoy yourself knowing you left kids behind that need their mom?
I personally agree with what you have said Kelly and believe you have been MORE then civil.
As a Mother, I can't fathom anything that would entice me to abandon my child. I would kill or be killed for her.

My friend from gradeschool who abandoned her children, in the opinion of her counselor lacks a normal attachment to her children because she consistently puts her own needs before those of her children. Some people evidently lack the ability to put them first. She herself admitted that she got pregnant with the youngest on purpose in order to get attention and then lied and said it was an accident.
 
Old 07-07-2008, 05:03 AM
 
Location: Home!
8,710 posts, read 10,367,056 times
Reputation: 8511
Quote:
Originally Posted by kelly237 View Post
I guess something about moms who consider abandoning their kids makes us all a little angry. Yes... I said abandon. Just because someone else will take care of them does not change that you chose to wash your hands of the inconvience of raising them to move to your "dream state"
How could you enjoy yourself knowing you left kids behind that need their mom?
Abandon, which this mother has not done yet, (but she is already guilty in your eyes) is a much better word than a comparison to a murderer. Geesh.

Oh to be in a perfect world with no problems or issues.

I love my children and would do anything for them and their safety. I would give body parts for them. But, I like to think a little before I judge too harshly someone else's questions. These aren't actions yet. Maybe some of the well put answers and experiences will help the OP make the right decision. I don't think calling names or putting her down will. I find you get more bees with honey than vinegar. That is my point.
 
Old 07-07-2008, 06:04 AM
 
Location: (WNY)
5,384 posts, read 9,766,793 times
Reputation: 7655
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lindsey_Mcfarren View Post
I personally agree with what you have said Kelly and believe you have been MORE then civil.
As a Mother, I can't fathom anything that would entice me to abandon my child. I would kill or be killed for her.

My friend from gradeschool who abandoned her children, in the opinion of her counselor lacks a normal attachment to her children because she consistently puts her own needs before those of her children. Some people evidently lack the ability to put them first. She herself admitted that she got pregnant with the youngest on purpose in order to get attention and then lied and said it was an accident.
I am in with you guys... this is wrong beyond all measure and now that she has her children she should do her job as a Mother and stay with her children... the job isn't over until the kids are old enough... and when they are 18 IF they are mature enough- she can go chase her DREAMS. No mother on here is going to agree with her... she posted it for responses and the majority are most likely parents... what would you expect? People to cheer ya on and say go follow that Rainbow? Not gonna happen... I would take the advice and not let anyone know you are even thinking it.
 
Old 07-07-2008, 06:38 AM
 
Location: Scottsdale, Arizona
1,271 posts, read 4,618,608 times
Reputation: 1124
When I moved to Phoenix in September, my son was 19. Which would make him an adult. So there werent any custody/vistation kind of issues since he is older. He has a good relationship with his father and always has. So when I got the opportunity to relocate, I gave him the choice whether he wanted to come, or to stay in Cleveland with his father. He stayed in Cleveland. I didnt want to make the choice "for" him, because then if he didnt like it, he would resent me. It was important for him to realize I valued what he thought.

Winter set in. Calls I get from son (and a lot of text messages lol!):

"It's cold. Dad won't set the furnace above 58'. I am freezing and I am inside. Maybe I will go out in the snow to warm up."

"I'm hungry. Send food. Dad sucks at cooking. I've eaten imitation crabmeat for the last 3 days. I dont ever want to see imitation crabmeat again."

"I'm bored. Dad lives out in the boonies and it is an hour drive each way to go to college or see my friends. Only old people and horses live out here. In the amount of time it takes me to get to and from my best friends house, I could be on a plane and halfway to Phoenix."

"All I can see for miles and miles is snow. Here's a picture. There is my basketball hoop that is nearly buried. Ugh. I'm bored."

I bought son a plane ticket to come out to Phoenix for the holidays. He arrived December 22 and left January 10. He got home, packed up his worldly belongings in his truck, and hit the road to move to Phoenix on January 19. He arrived January 20. Even tho he got in late (about 11pm) his first request: "Can you make me a roast beef? Please dont ever feed me imitation crabmeat." Like any self-respecting 20 year old (January 20 was his birthday) he followed his stomach. ;-0

He's going back for a visit to Cleveland at the end of July. I think it also helps that I told him whenever he wanted to come here (when he was in Cleveland) or go back to Cleveland (while he is here) I would buy his flight ticket, so long as he gave me enough advance warning that it didnt cost me $1,000....

He told me he was glad that I let him decide and make his own choice. That he felt like a grownup.
 
Old 07-07-2008, 09:28 AM
 
Location: Nor Cal
324 posts, read 1,572,123 times
Reputation: 180
Although a great story, and heartwarming doesn't compare to leaving a child behind. Your son should feel like a grown-up because he is!

Hopefully the OP will take all these posts and really think this through. She's right, we only know what she's told us. Most of us just can't imagine ever considering leaving our children let alone doing it. Seems wrong on so many levels.
 
Old 07-07-2008, 09:49 AM
 
Location: West Virginia
12,367 posts, read 31,247,713 times
Reputation: 8054
And like most people that ask questions on here they DONT give us the facts ALL the facts. Then they get mad at the answers and hollar YOU DONT KNOW ME OR MY SITUATION...we guess what unless You the posters tell us how are we supose to answer!!

IF she wants to get us to change our minds then she needs to give up more information Cause all I am getting from her posts Her Dreams are more important than Her Kids. AND If she does not want to give us personal information on the internet then Why did she even ask the Question??
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