how do you deal with disapproval of family or friends? (relocation, job)

[IonRedline08]

As someone whom has moved around a lot, I have heard all and more of what you have heard.

A lot of it is jealousy, plain and simple. Many, many people wish they were free and untethered to be able to pack it up and go as you want to do. Instead of offering you hope and well wishes, they will attempt to knock you down.

Also, I find that people tend to not like when you tell them that you are moving because they happen to like the city you are leaving. For example, when I lived in Canton, OH (my hometown) when I would talk about leaving, the vast majority of people were unsupportive and downright hostile about "Why would you want to leave this awesome area". Somehow they forget that Canton has
A. No jobs
B. One of the highest crime rates in the Country
C. Nothing to do

So really, it is as someone mentioned. They have a fear of the unknown, which is why people end up stuck where they are.

Personally, people that would be happy for you and supportive of you are your true friends!

[k350]

You will find people always harping on you when you want to move and trying to make you stay/move back, but you will never find any of them going out of their way to move to be close to you.

Its your life, live it.

[willieboo]

^^ Good post.

It sounds like you really want to move and would be happiest doing it. So go for it! Absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a new change of scenery and a new life somewhere else.

I'm going through the same thing myself with wanting to move and hearing all the annoying and intrusive comments, especially from the MIL. She say's one place is as good as another. Uh, no, I don't think so. But she'll use any argument to get us to stay. I think that's selfish myself, but oh well, she has no say anyway.

I want to move for a whole host of reasons and for me it refreshes the soul to see and discover new things.

I also feel like I have to justify my reasons for wanting to move, but someone once gave me great advice "You don't have to justify yourself to anyone".

Anyway, I''m rambling.

Good luck!!!

[IonRedline08]

Originally Posted by willieboo

"You don't have to justify yourself to anyone"

Great Quote!

[caligurltotx]

Here Here to above quote ^^
Funny, I found out today that co workers are doing the negative dance behind my back at work. They are asking "Why is she moving all the way to Dallas", "Does she know anyone there", "Does she have any family there", "I could never move away like that".

I just walk around singing and whistling like I'm the happiest person on earth .

[goldenplover]

The move that I am just finishing up right now was probably the hardest for me: my family kept (and still keeps) encouraging me to return to denver (they have taken great efforts to pull up every crime statistic in houston), and I have heard all of the above and more. When it came to moving, I was scared senseless...moving to a place that I had researched online, visited three times, and still felt like I knew almost nothing about.
What I would recommend for you is that you save up what you can (because moving is not cheap) and go for it as soon as your lease is up (what's another four months, right?). When things get rough, read Dr. Seuss' "oh the places you'll go" : "Sometimes, you may not find ANY road you want to go down- and in that case, you'll head straight out of town". It's a great book to keep up your spirits and reassure you that you are moving toward a brighter future.

[DreamWeavin]

good answer and I hope no one I moved away from does want to move near me.....that would constitute me moving-again

Originally Posted by k350

You will find people always harping on you when you want to move and trying to make you stay/move back, but you will never find any of them going out of their way to move to be close to you.

Its your life, live it.

[IonRedline08]

Originally Posted by caligurltotx

Here Here to above quote ^^
Funny, I found out today that co workers are doing the negative dance behind my back at work. They are asking "Why is she moving all the way to Dallas", "Does she know anyone there", "Does she have any family there", "I could never move away like that".

I just walk around singing and whistling like I'm the happiest person on earth .

HA! I am relocating to SA TX and I am getting all of the same stuff at work from people. Screw Em!

[TexasGirl@Heart]

Originally Posted by caligurltotx

Here Here to above quote ^^
Funny, I found out today that co workers are doing the negative dance behind my back at work. They are asking "Why is she moving all the way to Dallas", "Does she know anyone there", "Does she have any family there", "I could never move away like that".

I just walk around singing and whistling like I'm the happiest person on earth .

I suffered through all the same at work, but they have finally adjusted to me moving away and are now supportive and WANT TO VISIT me in Austin after I move!

Originally Posted by IonRedline08

HA! I am relocating to SA TX and I am getting all of the same stuff at work from people. Screw Em!

Don't worry--SOON enough, they will be calling to come visit, esp. in picturesque San Antonio! I might end up there as well, if my travel company can't place me in Austin right away! I know I can be placed in SA immediately!

[Nancy-NJ-NY-ME?]

Just to endorse all the above posters' comments, I say - GO FOR IT! If your lease ends in early 2009, you can look at the next few months as a time to save $$, research and plan. If later in 2009, still save $$, research and plan, over the next few months. Then maybe your landlord will take pity and let you out of your lease early. Presumably you've got a security deposit, so you probably won't want to jepordize it.

Having said that, follow your heart. Don't listen to the negativity / jealously. I think if one tries, a life can be made where one settles. Since people in your daily life are non-supportive, just stop talking about it. Doing so is like when someone gives two-weeks notice when quitting a job. Those remaining are glad / sad in a weird way as you're "getting out" and others are just not brave enough to do so.

You're young, mature and educated. Keep your plans under wrap, but keep doing the necessary preliminary work. Think of the move as a marketing project. You'd keep the details of a product launch secrete while doing the long-term planning.