how do you deal with disapproval of family or friends? (jobs, rental)

[Caramelboo]

Very wise words, allforcats. I need to apply that to my own life. I've been living out the wants and wishes of others, and not myself, for far too long.

[allforcats]

Originally Posted by Caramelboo

Very wise words, allforcats. I need to apply that to my own life. I've been living out the wants and wishes of others, and not myself, for far too long.

Caramelboo, you are so wise... Your life really IS all about you -- your freedom, your growth, your joy.
If we were talking to you on your first day here, we would say, "Welcome to planet Earth. There is nothing you cannot be or do or have. And your work here -- your lifetime career -- is to seek joy.

As you think thoughts that feel good to you, you will be in harmony with who you really are. And in doing so you will utilize your profound freedom. Seek joy first, and all of the growth that you could ever imagine will come joyously and abundantly to you. And when you are vibrating in joy, joy is all that you can give to others

[introspective1]

Thanks for your wise words on this forum, allcats!!!!

[Caramelboo]

Originally Posted by allforcats

Caramelboo, you are so wise... Your life really IS all about you -- your freedom, your growth, your joy.
If we were talking to you on your first day here, we would say, "Welcome to planet Earth. There is nothing you cannot be or do or have. And your work here -- your lifetime career -- is to seek joy.

As you think thoughts that feel good to you, you will be in harmony with who you really are. And in doing so you will utilize your profound freedom. Seek joy first, and all of the growth that you could ever imagine will come joyously and abundantly to you. And when you are vibrating in joy, joy is all that you can give to others

Well said, allforcats. Thanks for the encouragement.

[angelica99]

to the op, i'm not sure if this is still relevent or not, but i'll still give my opinion. i'm going through a very similar situation, but i came to the conclusion that you have to do what is best for you. people will always have an opinion no matter what. some of my friends understand why i want to move, and some don't. the one's who don't make me so mad when we're discussing it, b/c it usually turns into an arguement, that i've just decided not to mention anything until i know all the concrete details. i've lived in denver, co but i lived with reletives and moved there for schoool. i hated living there, but perhaps it was b/c i had no friends and was lonely, even though i stayed with my aunts, they were the only people i knew there, and are significantly older than me. but, it is a beautiful city. with the mountain backdrop, and hiking trails. i loved my job and i attended a really great school but even with all that, i was miserable. i'm planning to move back to ga, for a lower cost a living from the high priced dc metro area. one thing that i've learned is that everything may not turn out perfect, but you'll never know until you try. you may move somewhere and hate it, but you might love it. try visiting the cities over a weekend, buy plane tickets when they go on sale and stay in a reasonablly priced hotel, and see how you like it. hope this helps

[Huckleberry3911948]

its about money, 80% of life is. retail is poverty wages. poverty has a way of followng us, unless we change.
get some focus, get some hard skills. my favorite source is VE in jr college or military.
my favorite VE is RN. no student loans helps a lota people, good pay.
.
then go where you wana. when you got money everyplace is disneyland.

[nightbird47]

Originally Posted by Caramelboo

Very wise words, allforcats. I need to apply that to my own life. I've been living out the wants and wishes of others, and not myself, for far too long.

Absolutely. I spent several years atleast telling people I was going to move out of the urbanspraul that so cal is and to a small town. Nobody believed me. As I got more and more unhappy, I started research. I got to go to the midwest for a convention and to a real small town and went home do research in earnest.

Nobody had a clue how much planning went into it when I announced I was going to be looking at houses. They all thought it was a spur of the moment decision.

But this is family and I'm not the only one that done it. It was obvious that I was getting more and more miserable and instead of criticism I got lots of help. If your tootling along doing the same dance as everyone and seem to be part of the herd, people will be surprised. If you really look unhappy and they care about you they'll be glad.

I did get the why would you move there, isn't that a long way away, you'll miss (fill in the blank), the weather there is (fill in the blank) and I'd be too scared to move like that. But I'd already gotten way past all of that even if they didn't know it.

If they'd been shocked and argued I'd still have moved. It would just have been a lot harder to pull it off. But I moved out of the need to find some peace and fufill a dream that's been going for a much longer time than anyone knew.

I know its only been a month but I have nothing I miss. The humidity has even been less than last summer in the desert region of socal with Arizona's monsoonal clouds sitting on top of us all summer.

So I'd tell anyone, do what you need to do. Take a chance. Three of the most powerful words in the language.

[TexasGirl@Heart]

Originally Posted by introspective1

Well, I told them when I sign the lease that I could possibly be moving out of state in the near future. They were ok with it and told me that if I got hired by somebody before I moved, that a relocation package should help pay off my lease. I think, by Indiana state law, they have to let you out of the lease without penalty if you are offered a job out of state.

Texan, I see you are located in Pittsburgh and wanting to move to Austin. I am curious, what dont you like about Pittsburgh?

It's not that I dislike Pittsburgh....this is "home", for better or worse, but I absolutely LOVE Austin. I love the weather there, hate it here--one of the biggest reasons I am moving!

[rzacher]

Originally Posted by introspective1

... Any advice? ...

Well yes. You have encountered Robert's Rule #1.

Any time you want to move anywhere and you tell anyone where you are living about it you will meet opposition.

They may be right about your idea, they may be wrong or they may be confused, but count on the fact that anyone where you are now living will always oppose your move.

So I have learmed not to ask the advice of others about whether or not I should move or where I should move to. It's a waste of time and energy because not only will they oppose the idea, but they will also do their best to fill me with fear about it.

Since there are pros and cons to everything in life including moving to another place, why open yourself to the negatives that will surely be offered when you tell others about your ideas or plans? It's much, much better to connect with people where you think you want to go. Talk to them.

... Just my two cents.

[lyoness]

Originally Posted by nightbird47

Absolutely. I spent several years atleast telling people I was going to move out of the urbanspraul that so cal is and to a small town. Nobody believed me. As I got more and more unhappy, I started research. I got to go to the midwest for a convention and to a real small town and went home do research in earnest.

Nobody had a clue how much planning went into it when I announced I was going to be looking at houses. They all thought it was a spur of the moment decision.

But this is family and I'm not the only one that done it. It was obvious that I was getting more and more miserable and instead of criticism I got lots of help. If your tootling along doing the same dance as everyone and seem to be part of the herd, people will be surprised. If you really look unhappy and they care about you they'll be glad.

I did get the why would you move there, isn't that a long way away, you'll miss (fill in the blank), the weather there is (fill in the blank) and I'd be too scared to move like that. But I'd already gotten way past all of that even if they didn't know it.

If they'd been shocked and argued I'd still have moved. It would just have been a lot harder to pull it off. But I moved out of the need to find some peace and fufill a dream that's been going for a much longer time than anyone knew.

I know its only been a month but I have nothing I miss. The humidity has even been less than last summer in the desert region of socal with Arizona's monsoonal clouds sitting on top of us all summer.

So I'd tell anyone, do what you need to do. Take a chance. Three of the most powerful words in the language.

OMG, I could have written that myself, I swear you were reading my mind! Did you move alone or with someone? Just curious as I have one son who keeps flip-flopping about moving with me when I go, so I'm prepared to go it alone but the thought does make me a little nervous as I will be sooooo far away