how do you deal with disapproval of family or friends? (relocate, back south)

[introspective1]

I know it should not matter what people think about where you want to move to, but sometimes it is hard to get over things your family or friends say to you whenever you say you want to move. I dont have many friends where i live now (indiana) and I have lived here for five years(came here from alabama from college, been out of college for a year and looking to go almost anywhere except back to 'bama lol) For example, people say:

"Why would you wanna live there? It is not close to your family"
"you dont know anyone there"
"why are you still living up north? you need to come back south cause the cost of living is better" (although indiana is not that darn expensive, family says this)
"you will have to make new friends" (well, even growing up in alabama for a very long time, I never have had many friends, anywhere I went....hell,I have had more friends up here in indiana in 5 years, than the 20 I lived in alabama---yeah I am a 25year old black male, moved to indiana when I was 20)

I hear these among tons of other things. My main reason for wanting to move is cause I dream so much of living somewhere else that I want to do it. I almost want to keep my comments about moving to myself cause I feel like people will discourage me. People fear change and they try to bring down anyone who wants to take risks. The thought of exploring something new in my young life really excites me and puts a smile on my face! Plus, I have a degree in marketing and cant find entry level jobs here in indiana (didnt intern in school so its been exteremly difficult to get a job, and i have been out of school for a year...I have been working retail to survive).

I am just so torn...I really wanna move. 1) I am still under lease at my apt until may 2009 unless I can find a really good way to get out of it lol. 2) I have a hard time scraping up enough money to visit somewhere before I move so that makes the decision even harder. I dont think I could afford to take, say, a couple weeks off work to be able to explore somewhere I wanna live. I am soooo terrified of making a huge mistake. Plus it is hard for me to make friends no matter where I go, just because of luck. I make close friends easily but the friendships fade within just a matter of months and I get hurt. Sorry to sound like I am whining but I just need some help.

Any advice? anyone wanna tell me how they overcame opposition to move to somewhere new(maybe where you didnt know anyone) and turned out to enjoy it, regardless of what your friends/fam had to say about the move?



P.S.--areas I am considering moving to are:

Dallas, TX
Denver, CO
Raleigh, NC
Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Atlanta, GA

...in that order

[Rakin]

I'm in DFW and love it. The best economy in the US, great housing & low cost of living. Come on down, we've got the friendliest people & the prettiest women / men (whatever works).

The winters are warm, he have culture, concerts, great highways and no state income tax.

Visit the Dallas forum. It don't get any better.

[Beth56]

Everyone always has to offer their advice. If you want to relocate, have the means to sustain yourself, and are up to the adventure, then go for it. But if there is a large amount of uncertainty, you may want to rethink the move or wait and make sure you plan it a little better for a good outcome. Life is full of risks. Just try to keep them at a minimum. Be as sure as possible before you jump. But if you are ready, don't let the naysayers stop you. Life is short. Just have a backup plan in place just in case.

[caligurltotx]

Dallas being first on your list I say go for it! Moving can be a bit scary but exciting at the same time. I am moving to Dallas and have no family there but do have some friends there already that are supportive. And the Dallas forum has been my new best friend : ) I moved to LA, CA when I was 21 for LOVE and that lasted all of 6 mos. I was literally on my own and knew nobody else. That was 25 yrs ago.
I believe you have to have some survival abilities and determination no matter where you go in life. Only the strong survive! So do you and forget the nay sayers.

[nightbird47]

I'm moving from California to OK and have heard all of those. But this feels just right and I don't care if anyone understands. It takes nerve to pick up and relocate in a new place, but then where would we all be if the pioneers had stayed in the east?

I don't know about the places you mention, but if you really feel one is right go for it.

[PG77]

Originally Posted by introspective1

People fear change and they try to bring down anyone who wants to take risks.

You hit the nail on the head right there with this statement. It is your life and you have to do what you feel is best for you. I up and moved to FL from OH back in 2001 and my family said the same things to me. I didn't know anyone, etc. It all worked out OK. Although I am now in WA, but going back to FL in two weeks, I never looked back at OH.

Good luck!

[poogie777]

Originally Posted by introspective1

I hear these among tons of other things. My main reason for wanting to move is cause I dream so much of living somewhere else that I want to do it. I almost want to keep my comments about moving to myself cause I feel like people will discourage me. People fear change and they try to bring down anyone who wants to take risks. The thought of exploring something new in my young life really excites me and puts a smile on my face! Plus, I have a degree in marketing and cant find entry level jobs here in indiana (didnt intern in school so its been exteremly difficult to get a job, and i have been out of school for a year...I have been working retail to survive).

I am just so torn...I really wanna move. 1) I am still under lease at my apt until may 2009 unless I can find a really good way to get out of it lol. 2) I have a hard time scraping up enough money to visit somewhere before I move so that makes the decision even harder. I dont think I could afford to take, say, a couple weeks off work to be able to explore somewhere I wanna live. I am soooo terrified of making a huge mistake. Plus it is hard for me to make friends no matter where I go, just because of luck. I make close friends easily but the friendships fade within just a matter of months and I get hurt. Sorry to sound like I am whining but I just need some help.

Any advice? anyone wanna tell me how they overcame opposition to move to somewhere new(maybe where you didnt know anyone) and turned out to enjoy it, regardless of what your friends/fam had to say about the move?

It's true, PG77, some people do fear change and therefore, whether they are happy with their surroundings or not will never make a big move. They'll just live where they are at forever.

I been through with family members and friends like you are experiencing. Especially with our biggest move from Colorado to Washington. No one wanted us to go. Some even said, 'oh they'll be back." LOL I don't think so...
Even after being up here for 4 years, when we finally decided to buy a house, our daughter was devistated...she thought as long as we didn't buy a house we would be back.
Truth is, we hated Colorado and the midwest states we were in. Not the people, but the atmosphere and environment and such...just wasn't where we wanted to spend the rest of our lives and definitely not for retirement.
It's our life and we knew what we wanted and we got it. If that makes friends and family unhappy, we figured they can just get happy in the same pants! If they want to stay there, so be it. Now it's funny that everyone wants to come visit....
PG77, it's your life! You have to do what is best for you and what makes you happy. You're young, go explore! If where you go isn't right for you after all, that doesn't mean that it was a mistake...I admire those who take chances than those that sit still and are miserable. Go! Be happy! Wish you all the best!

[Élan vital]

the statement:." People fear change and they try to bring down anyone who wants to take risks." pretty much sums up why others are so negative about YOUR choices. Someone on this forum(sorry I don't recall who) posted that some people have roots and some have wings........I love that. Personally I love moving about, exploring this great big world. Wish I had begun exploring sooner in life because I would have gone to Europe and lived in various places too. But I digress......You do what you want to do. In the end,afterall, it is your life. If you move somewhere that doesn't suit you-move again.
As for making friends--well I feel that one has to be in tune and comfortable with one's self before they can truly reach out and befriend others. I try to stay in tune with my spiritual self to remain balanced.
Is there a particular reason you've narrowed your possible move to those places? Just curious.
Good luck.........go-spread your wings-soar--while you can.

[introspective1]

Originally Posted by DreamWeavin

.
Is there a particular reason you've narrowed your possible move to those places? Just curious.
Good luck.........go-spread your wings-soar--while you can.

Thanks for all the replies! everyone has been so helpful! to answer your question, DreamWeavin, I have narrowed it down to the following places for these reasons:

Dallas, TX--I hear it is pretty liberal, considering its in texas. Supposedly they have the highest concentration of Fortune 500 companies based in one area. My degree is in marketing and I have NO experience so I figure going to place like this has to provide lots of entry level jobs. Plus, I love football and that is big in texas, of course! I need to go visit, though

Denver, CO--never visited but have met several people here in Indiana that have lived in or been to denver. Not sure about the level of diversity in Denver. Love the Broncos and Nuggets, though. Fairly good job market, from what I hear. Would love to experience what its like to live near mountains and scenery lol. again, a place I have to visit for myself.

Raleigh, NC--not sure why they are on the list lol. I used to (keyword:used to) have a friend that lives there (we are no longer friends) and I hear it is easy to get a job...plus, its like living in a big college town.

Ft. Lauderdale--never been there but have friends who recently moved from CA to Ft. Lauderdale. They love it! I would kinda miss the 4 seasons, though. This one is at the bottom of my list b/c I know very little about FTL

Atlanta, GA---I am very familiar with ATL which is good and bad.. The thought of going to a less familiar city seems more exciting and more of a challenge. I grew up in alabama so I have been to Atlanta a lot of times cause it is not far away. I am black and every one knows that ATL has ample job opportunities for blacks. From what WHITE people have told me about up here in indiana, that doesnt seem to be true. (although, I am not sure about that rumor, myself). I know one person in ATL. Not very well....we are not even close but at least I know somebody. Lots to do in ATL but is becoming expensive.

[Élan vital]

I've visited all the places on your list but have not lived in any of them. Denver would be my choice but mainly because of the mountains. I love the mountains! The downtown area of Denver is really nice. Not as big and bustling as one might imagine, which is a good thing to me and the public transportation system is top notch. I'm not a fan of Atlanta because it's just too darn big and crowded and bustling. When I drive through there I have panic attacks!!
I was raised in Bama too(RollTide!!)......where are you from?
Good luck and do let us know what you decide. You're young--go for it!