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ACTUALLLYYY I know it's a known fact that guys handle moves of ANY sort (even just across town) WORSE then women because the whole hubbub of the move is very unsettling to them. They don't know how to adapt to change as well as women do. For some reason even though women may kick fight and scream about moving (because theyre attached to things and people) once they DO move they will adjust quicker and better then men. I've witnessed this when I moved with my boyfriend to a house about 10 miles away from where we were currently living (it was all HIS idea!) and once we started the move he turned into a DEMON!!!!!!! He was so on edge and crabby!!!!
I thought Iiiii was guna be the one that was going to have a tough time adjusting, but I was calm and chipper and he was grouchy as HECK! Even once we got settled in he STILL took some time to really truly settle in. A whole new place was unnerving to him! :PPPP
It's your imagination. I just moved a thousand miles away from my home state to a place I'm not that familiar with for a better job market. Left family and friends. Drove with 2 cats by myself...no problem.
Overall I think the o.p. has a valid point but obviously there are exceptions. However, I don't think it would be putting to fine a point on it to say that the majority of those exceptions will be single and/or younger women that either do not have close and happy connections with parents or immediate family or are still seeking physical and economic fullfilment. If you look at the "Success Stories" section of any large dating site you will see that scads more women have relocated to be with a man than the other way around. It sounds a little crass to say it but I think that if the o.p.'s present economic circumstances were more dire he would not only not have to press hard for making some kind of change but he would actually be pressed by his family to take the opportunity to get better security for his family. As it is, his desire for a move is seen as whimsical and risky. So maybe the thing to do 'HD' is grope the CEO's wife at this years Chrismahanakwanzaka Party and you will definitely get the green light to take your ruined personnel file whereever it is you want to go :-)
No time to read this all the way through. Since we have moved so many times, 11 in 22 years, I am so sick of it.So many say to me how much fun it is to get to decorate a new house buy new things bla bla bla. EXCEPT I do NOT buy new things I remake the curtains to fit new windows I mostly put the house back as close to what it was at last house when possible because I finally figured out what works for us.
I will admit I threw big time tantrums about not moving over and over. All I ever wanted in my life was to stay in one house for a long time. Longest I have ever lived in one house was just barely 8 years. I am big into pretty gardens and work so hard on the yards creating my kind of yard. Only to have to pick up and leave it. This time we made a short move and I loaded our 16 foot equipment trailer and truck with plants three times and did not even leave a dent in the yard we left behind. Not to mention the plants that had to be moved in the car. Seemed just about the time I got a yard how I liked it we moved again. OK Chalk it up to good exercise.
I really do not have family to be concerned about moving away from neither does hubby. Most of my friends are only an email or phone call away. I just am so tired of moving on all the time. I think this time we are staying put. Check back in, in 4 years.
ON the other hand. Every move we have made has been a step up for us in what we wanted in life. We flipped lots of houses while living in them and made the money to retire on. Not really our goal in every house we bought it was always going to be just for us forever and we always moved on for one reason or another. So the moving has been good even though I threw tantrums.
For us moving is all about finding the new place and not much concern for DH in how involved it is getting the move done. It is so hard for some of us women to tear our life/houses apart pack it up unpack it and put it all away again making it all work for us in the new house. There is NOTHING FUN ABOUT THIS!!! I think this is some of my reluctance to keep moving all the time. To my hubby all he see's is the stacks of boxes having to be loaded onto the truck. Don't get me wrong my DH is a wonderful person but packing is not something he does and do we as women really want our DH packing the fragile things? Moving is so much emotional involvement. I am sure most of us women are happy to just live in a space we are comfortable in and avoid all the drudge of packing it all up and unpacking it. For us I see DH sitting in his recliner all evening while I was packing deep into the night. Makes me angry even if I do not want him to break my things trying to help. LOL Then he complains I have too much quap and if I got rid of it moving would be easier. Yes that is true so which do I toss out the pots pans and dishes or his clothes and guns. CERTAINLY not my glass and china for mosaics and my crochet books, quilting fabric. LOL
Bottom line I think if spouses would be completely supportive in the move as far as helping in every way possible and NOT expecting the brunt of the moving project to fall on one person it would be easier to get some that are reluctant to move to become more agreeable. OK So men do not help pack the favorite china but do bring home dinner and help clean up behind a big packing spree keep the laundry clean. Just because you are moving does not mean daily chores stop. Life goes on and the moving packing just adds to an already busy day. Bring home the boxes instead of complaining when more boxes are needed. Offer to lift the boxes to the staging place for truck loading. Husband and wife and kids should all be able to hit their recliners at the same time every night.
Most of all lots of supportive hugs and understanding. Stick together no matter how hard it gets. Sometimes just a great big hug and pat on the back and a thank you from hubby was enough to keep me going through another hard moving day.
Thank you everyone for posting on this question I asked. I have some real insight now and see I was wrong making such an erroneous assumption. If my late mother as well as my wife had not been so adamant about me staying put, I wouldn't have gotten this idea. Sorry, I'm not a perfect human being either. I have decided to let it lay for now and maybe revisit the idea in a few months or even year or two. The comments may be helpful to anyone who reads them. I thank all of you. for this.
Thanks all of you who responded. Yes we have some issues to work out with this moving thing. I don't absolutely dislike where I live, but I search for something more exciting than where i live. DW can take or leave the excitement and I realize i typed that she cried about it. Actually it was dd who cried. But maybe the roots and nesting thing is more important to her than I. DD is almost 16 btw, and we will at least stay put until hs grad. Wife and i btw are no spring chickens both in our 50s and I know that looking at retirement may be what we really need to do. But some of this is spillover from my late mothers attitude that I just wouldn't like anywhere else and she fought me for years about moving. I just never wanted to stay here where I live unless things really got rockin'. Don't want to blame anybody for my bad decisions but I realize I have missed out on this because of my bad decisions.
In our case, both hubby and I are all about moving, even to another country if the opportunity arose. But I will say, our kids are very young. I think as they get older, like yours is 16, they have good friends, clubs, all their comforts and it would be harder. When the kids are young, the parents are their world but not as they get older. Still, you are the parent so if there is an opportunity elsewhere that will afford your family a better life for now and the future, take it! Kids are resilient, she may be surprised at her new experiences.
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A great deal of thanks
