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Do my desires to move stem from a lack of meaningful relationships in my life?
If I had friends to call, friends to see after and before work, if I always was hanging out with people, loving people who were interesting also in my life, would I even -want- to move?
Could you, could I, live in the "worst" place to live, on paper, because from a heart-perspective... you or I was happy?
Is there even any point to reading all these threads, to determine "exactly" where I want to go? lol...
Does a physical change in location really change your life? Or is it psychosomatic? I guess personally I want to be around more people who care about nature, spirituality, joy, love, having a heart, respecting others... I feel like in Scottsdale, its so dry. Its all about materialism. People are more interested in their cellphones or getting the BMW than giving you a hug.
Not judging people who are materialistic, but I feel they are not the most empathatic, and it seems so many people are rude and selfish in Scottsdale. I'm so tired of it.
Sorry this is incoherent. I guess I feel that I'm trying to make more friends, but I feel that everyone is plugged into a different culture. Tempe is different, I'm finding...but still.. I feel I may never fit in here... I may never find friends and chill/peaceful/good people here. Sorry for the post that started good, then ended into a rant! Its my first post. I have much to learn from you guys I think.
I do not want to give you a trite answer, but sometimes it is better being that right person instead of looking for that right person. You are not alone in what you want....you just need to surround yourself with others of like values.
There are many clubs, organizations, etc filled with people like this. Also, VOLUNTEER doing something meaningful....the others you meet who do this with you will be potential good friends.
There are also many good churches, ones that are active, outgoing, sincere, and enjoyable....the growing churches are the ones that are relevant, caring and enjoyable, safe places to be. Good music, good teaching, good fellowship, good programs....making a difference in the world.
there are also book clubs, libraries, etc. Take some college classes in areas that are of interest to you...others in the class will have much in common with you.
Thanks Frank. I needed to hear this. I only volunteered a few days in my life, back in college few years back. After one day volunteering I had a smile plastered on my face. It felt so good to forget about myself and just care about others.
I just don't know where to get started, but really thats just a cop-out. Spose I could google it. It would be neat to meet people who care more about things other than themselves.
I just personally have had this idea for awhile that, well, if I just move out of Arizona, to a place with trees, I will be happy. I think thats partly true... but that so much more contributes to happiness. Just having more meaningful relationships for one...
Thanks again. Been lurkin on this forum on and off for a few years. I could get addicted, I think.
Hmmm...interesting question. I wonder at times if I romantacize moving, thinking that it will allow me to be more open and outgoing than I am here. I think there are places where we feel we might "fit in" better and people probably do get out there to connect more often in those instances.
I love my friends out here and have no family, but I also have to face the harsh reality that family where I want to go have busy lives. It may not be the warm welcome that I expect. I believe that there are people who hate where they live but stay just for the connections (family,friends, co-workers), and then there are those that love where they live even if they have no friends. For me, I dream of living in area with true seasons, rolling hills, and down to earth people. Will it make me happier? I guess I won't know until I try, but I can always come back.
All of us feel an attraction to a certain landscape be it desert, mountains, beaches, etc. Try moving to where you like the environment and then work on making the connections. In my world it would be a perfect place to live if both of these were in sync. Unfortunately, that doesn't happen too often. Some move for adventure, some for a better lifestyle, others to escape. You need to figure out what your motivation is for moving, and understand it, before you will be happy anywhere!
Does a physical change in location really change your life? Or is it psychosomatic?
Maybe both? I wonder the same thing...maybe if you were living in a place you liked more you would be more willing to branch out and find people or volunteer etc.
As long as you are realistic and not searching for something that doesn't exist you should be fine. You'll find it eventually - just learn from the process and have fun while you figure it ou!
Do my desires to move stem from a lack of meaningful relationships in my life?
If I had friends to call, friends to see after and before work, if I always was hanging out with people, loving people who were interesting also in my life, would I even -want- to move?
Could you, could I, live in the "worst" place to live, on paper, because from a heart-perspective... you or I was happy?
Is there even any point to reading all these threads, to determine "exactly" where I want to go? lol...
Does a physical change in location really change your life? Or is it psychosomatic? I guess personally I want to be around more people who care about nature, spirituality, joy, love, having a heart, respecting others... I feel like in Scottsdale, its so dry. Its all about materialism. People are more interested in their cellphones or getting the BMW than giving you a hug.
Not judging people who are materialistic, but I feel they are not the most empathatic, and it seems so many people are rude and selfish in Scottsdale. I'm so tired of it.
Sorry this is incoherent. I guess I feel that I'm trying to make more friends, but I feel that everyone is plugged into a different culture. Tempe is different, I'm finding...but still.. I feel I may never fit in here... I may never find friends and chill/peaceful/good people here. Sorry for the post that started good, then ended into a rant! Its my first post. I have much to learn from you guys I think.
Honestly, I think it's a bit of both. If you have friends and family around who care about you, and to do things with, it certainly is better. But there is something to location too IMO. I'm from a small rural town, and have been in larger cities since my husband and I have been together for last 11-12 years. I miss the country, and the small town atmosphere, and feel like I'm suffocating in the city. Some places just feel like home more than others.
Great thread!!!
We are a few years away from retiring and have no idea where we want to retire. I think it is true that we imagine a whole way of life in certain towns but forget that relationships are more imortant than the place.
I have friends that I would leave behind if we moved and I would
miss that. What if something happens to my hubby and I am in a new place all alone??? Sorta makes me want to stay put.
I feel your frustration. I moved several times in the past decade and the happiest I found has to do with both having made some friends who cared and an enjoyable career. Out of all the 5 metro cities I had lived, San Francisco was the longest I had stayed due to finding some great friends immediately and a great job. I have moved to Seattle for half a year now and it's been miserable. I am ready to leave as soon as I decided on my next location. It's exciting to live in a new city; unfortunately, one cannot say whether that is the city to call home until living and experiencing it for several months.
Each city has it's own greatness. Honolulu is a beautiful place for vacation as San Diego, I could see myself getting bored after I explored the cities. NYC is where I grew up and a very exciting place to visit but once I got used to the warmer climate it's hard to go back to such weather extremes again. San Francisco has a lot to offer and a great city; however, I felt it was time to move on because I couldn't help but notice that the corporate professional behaviors were getting more and more too high school-ish. Seattle is the worst, I found the people here are emotionally removed, very difficult to get to know. There are also more educated group hence presenting a sense of superiority and think they are always right on what they say. I have not experienced so many negative events until I got to Seattle but as much as there bad moments there are a few nice ones. The city itself is beautiful.
Sorry for being so long winded. It hits a sore spot now for me too. Hope you are feeling better and know that you are not alone. It is very challenging to find a place to make it a home but also exciting. I am learning that the next metro place I would make it a home will be when I find a good job I enjoy, make some friends and has warm weather year round. Best of luck to you and me on this journey.
Great thread!!!
We are a few years away from retiring and have no idea where we want to retire. I think it is true that we imagine a whole way of life in certain towns but forget that relationships are more imortant than the place.
I have friends that I would leave behind if we moved and I would
miss that. What if something happens to my hubby and I am in a new place all alone??? Sorta makes me want to stay put.
Kelly,
We can relate. Our story is a strange one. We have been lifelong western NY'ers, between Buffalo and Rochester NY. A couple of years ago we visited friends in Florida. I always said I'd never like Florida......bugs, hot, gators, etc.
Well, we fell in love with this place and bought a house across the street from our friends. We bought an a homeowner owned, fiscally well off gated golf community with low HOA's, great activities, etc.
I do not retire for another couple of years, so we rent it out during the snowbird months, and stay down there a couple of months a year when it is not rented. Great tax break, etc.
It is hard to believe, but in this short amount of time, we have made many good strong friendships. I have a dangerous job, (Professional Firefighter), and if anything ever happened to me, my wife would easily be able to move down there and be well embraced by a strong support group of good friends.
Right now I count the days until I can move away from NY winters and enjoy our new life down there. It's great to have a goal that you KNOW......we now know where our future lies and can't wait for it to get here. Before, retirement was just some pie in the sky thing.....now it is real to me.
I think I see your points its a little of both. I think friends can make you happy. Meaningful connections can. But also environments that are pleasing can make you happy...
I'm starting to make some connections here in Tempe. Also they just built a light rail, and I live and work next to it.
Frank, thats so neat you are a firefighter.
My original question also brings up another question I have...
Are we truly citizens of any country? Is leaving America bad? Is America the same America that was founded in 1776?
Does loyalty exist? Should I feel bad about possibly leaving America, instead of trying to stand and fight with Obama...
Just wondering how much of life is trying to make things better instead of running from things.
And I also think maybe people living in dirt floor in huts in rural afghanistan are 1000 times happier simply because they are not on a computer, not online... with the world seemingly at their fingertips. In other words, am I just entering some grand illusion in my head by being on the internet fantasizing about this stuff?
Would I be happier just laying out under the sky, letting the stars entertain me...being happy with the simple stuff
Are we just feeding our individualistic egos! !!!
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