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Old 12-23-2008, 05:24 PM
 
298 posts, read 637,521 times
Reputation: 174

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Many people post questions about whether they should move away from family or stay nearby (for kids or other reasons). Family seems to be a pretty big motivating factor in moving somewhere or staying.

So .... my question is for people who have been there and done that, who have experience in moving away from family.

If you have moved away from family (long distance - the kind of move where you have to take at least a weekend trip to see family again) do you regret it? Are those regrets so strong that you would not have moved away (if you knew then what you know now)? Why?

If you don't regret it, why not? What other factors outweighed being near family?

Thank you!

Last edited by HSVbulldawg; 12-23-2008 at 05:38 PM..
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Old 12-23-2008, 07:16 PM
 
Location: Florida
6,262 posts, read 17,326,766 times
Reputation: 4696
me! I moved,along with my husband and daughter from the gulf coast to Alaska then from there to Oregon. We love experiencing new people,places and things. I have family (and lots of them) still on the gulf coast. Most of them will never venture away for anything but vacation.
Regret the move? Hell no! We've had a blast. I think even were it just me and I made the move alone it would be cooooooooooool! Especially after settling here in Oregon. Oregon is paradise on earth! The people are lovely, the area is lovely--it's awesome!! I fly back to my former hometown off and on and when I do I'm ready to leave within a couple of days. I moved from there because I dislike the area soooooooo much. Visiting there hasn't changed my mind--I still dislike the gulf coast. Must be an indication that I wasn't meant to live there. The family and friends I left behind that I care enough to communicate with-I do. Via internet,mail or phone calls. They can visit me whenever they want.



Quote:
Originally Posted by HSVbulldawg View Post
Many people post questions about whether they should move away from family or stay nearby (for kids or other reasons). Family seems to be a pretty big motivating factor in moving somewhere or staying.

So .... my question is for people who have been there and done that, who have experience in moving away from family.

If you have moved away from family (long distance - the kind of move where you have to take at least a weekend trip to see family again) do you regret it? Are those regrets so strong that you would not have moved away (if you knew then what you know now)? Why?

If you don't regret it, why not? What other factors outweighed being near family?

Thank you!
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Old 12-23-2008, 08:43 PM
 
Location: Prescott Valley,az summer/east valley Az winter
2,042 posts, read 3,618,981 times
Reputation: 7884
after 20 years at home went into service~ forced move way away from family and loved it for 20 years! Moved back home and into family business (that dad and I started) . Was never close to family then~ so when I retired I moved far away~enjoy it! And my sons have moved away ( 1 into the service) and do not live close anyway!
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Old 12-23-2008, 09:53 PM
 
Location: Verde Valley
4,050 posts, read 9,064,894 times
Reputation: 3404
I moved far away, like a 4 day (or so) drive and am on my own with no one, and it is the best thing I ever did in my life. I didn't ever really feel I was supposed to be in the NE and felt so at home in the SW. I can phone them everyday and travel back there when I want to.

I love adventures - seeing new places and meeting new people, to me, that's what makes life interesting. It broadens your horizons, sometimes we stagnate in one place.
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Old 12-23-2008, 11:20 PM
 
Location: Robbinston, ME
15 posts, read 44,143 times
Reputation: 28
I miss my family sure, but living away from them has made me be independent and closer to my husband and children. We are looking to move even farther away than we are now and even though any move is hard I look forward to the fresh start a move creates.
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Old 12-24-2008, 05:59 AM
 
31 posts, read 282,040 times
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I think it is not good to leave your parents when they needed you. I believe in joint family.
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Old 12-24-2008, 11:23 AM
 
Location: SD
896 posts, read 3,921,199 times
Reputation: 343
We moved from the east coast to the west coast. It was a tough move, at first, but now we are very happy we made the move (it was for a job). It has taught us to be more self-reliant and create more immediate family traditions. This is our first holiday alone (my entire family flew out for Thanksgiving and that probably won't happen again for awhile) so we'll see how that goes. Being around my family during Thanksgiving made me realize how much I appreciate my new-found "freedom" and space, as well as not having them in my daily business and life. When we had the option to move back over the summer, we chose to stay here.
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Old 01-03-2009, 12:19 PM
 
64 posts, read 317,102 times
Reputation: 79
Quote:
Originally Posted by HSVbulldawg View Post
If you have moved away from family (long distance - the kind of move where you have to take at least a weekend trip to see family again) do you regret it? Are those regrets so strong that you would not have moved away (if you knew then what you know now)? Why?

If you don't regret it, why not? What other factors outweighed being near family?

Thank you!
I moved away from family and my only regret is not away sooner!

My parents were EXTREMELY controlling and I feel much less stressed being away from the family problems and family drama.

Other factors were I was in an area with low wages and no jobs and I moved to improve my financial situation.
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Old 01-03-2009, 12:38 PM
 
616 posts, read 1,032,924 times
Reputation: 381
When my SO and I were first married we moved deep into a rural area on 112 acres. It was terrible and we were constantly asked why we weren't making the family gatherings a usual. It caused a gap that never fully joined back together.

It is always important to stay close to your supportive family! Do not underestimate the positive results from being near the positive people.

Those family members were always saying how very much missed my spouse and I were by all of them. Now, after several deaths, the family is fragmented, and consequently will never ever recoup.
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Old 01-03-2009, 12:49 PM
 
Location: Midwest transplant
2,011 posts, read 4,976,177 times
Reputation: 1566
My parents moved (retired) away from me! They went back to MI and left me in NJ (I was 30, single, working and had my own place). They had been away from "hometown & family" for 32 years as my Dad was transferred during his career, and wanted to go back "home" for their remaining years. By 1989 I was married and husband was transferred to PA, leaving his parents in northern NJ. We liked not having the expectations of being at every event, holiday, party, Sunday meal. It forced all of us (parents included) to make decisions on our own. In the declining years of our parents health it was very difficult to not be closer and take over or be more engaged in the decisions that needed to be made. Fortunately, both of our parents had the resources to support a lifestyle that was safe and secure for them until their deaths.
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