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Old 01-23-2009, 09:31 PM
 
Location: San Diego, CA
39 posts, read 629,584 times
Reputation: 139

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My home is in Washington state, and I moved to Southern California back 8 months ago to take care of my mom because my dad died unexpectedly. The only thing is that my husband is still up in Washington in our house, because he can't get a job down here with the economy and another reason he doesn't want to move down here...he hates California. But I hate Washington. We have a great marriage and kids but I don't know what to do. I truly hate the rain, but feel like many people live where they don't want to, and maybe I should move back? Any suggestions?

 
Old 01-23-2009, 09:37 PM
 
Location: Happiness is found inside your smile :)
3,178 posts, read 13,417,319 times
Reputation: 1266
OHHHH I'm a bit similar - I grew up in California (Santa MOnica then Sacramento) and moved to Seattle ...geez it's be 5 years. And I HATE it here.

FINALLY we are moving - with no jobs, and selling our house. I feel awful like I'm putting my family in jeopardy - but I really need to get out of WAshington.

So Yes, 5 years ago I moved here and I didn't want to - but I was in love and we bought our first home. It seemed like a great idea but within 30 days of being here - I realized what a huge mistake it was.

It's taken 5 years and many many many many arguments with my husband to FINALLY get hi on board to move.
 
Old 01-23-2009, 09:43 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
1,142 posts, read 2,507,317 times
Reputation: 1138
I have the same problem. I am from Virginia and have always wanted to move back. My husband is from PA and doesn't want to move. It's created some tension for us, but he has agreed to look for a job in VA since we have lived in PA all of the time we've been together. But jobs are very scarce and it's getting hard to keep the motivation up, especially now with the economy being so bad. We'll keep trying anyway.

One thing we did explore, which might help you and your husband, was trying to find another state we both could agree on. You could try to find an area nearby both states, that way neither of you are too far from home. I don't know that area at all so I can't help with suggesting places. Maybe someone else could.
 
Old 01-24-2009, 12:56 PM
 
Location: In God's country
1,059 posts, read 2,417,138 times
Reputation: 608
Ditto..I use to live in Pa. moved to Missouri...I tried, but i hated it there. I didnt care for Pa. either, and i grew up there. lol...Anyways i lived in Missouri for 6 years. After many happenings in our life, we decided that we needed to move with our kids...We moved in December...and we love our new home..
You have to go with what your heart is telling you. I know i'll get ribbed about that with the economy, We had to look at it as...we are miserable here...and if we move even with the economy..whats the worse that can happen? the economy is bad everywhere. It was the best thing for our family.
 
Old 01-26-2009, 11:57 AM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
1,820 posts, read 3,998,017 times
Reputation: 1903
We are also in the same boat... Grew up in WNY and I would move back in an instant,just to be near family and close friends. Husband also grea up there,hates it! hates the winters and just doesn't like the area at all.
We have lived in the mid-atlantic for almost 10 years and just moved to PA. Having a difficult time adjusting mid year (finding it hard to find activities for our children as it is Jan and everything started in the fall,etc... ) and a difficult time of year in general to meet people.
I would just love to pack it in and go either back to where we moved from(our house still hasn't sold) or go to WNY with family. Tired of being "new" and am already seeing signs that the area we have moved to here in PA is not really open to "transplants".
Very sad
 
Old 01-26-2009, 01:02 PM
 
Location: Orlando, Florida
43,858 posts, read 44,589,257 times
Reputation: 58621
I didn't want to move to Orlando. My almost grown kids did. So, we moved as a family. Now they have moved back to where we started and I stayed here due to having a good job. Orlando would have never been even on a long list of desired places for me. I didn't like it here at all when I first moved here. But in the last few months, I made friends and have settled in.
 
Old 01-26-2009, 01:17 PM
 
3,681 posts, read 5,547,179 times
Reputation: 1491
I moved to Southern California almost 14 years ago and have never "fallen in love" with it - in fact, I really don't like it but its where my husband's job has been. He finally has the chance to do a full early retirement and we are planning a move out of the state this summer. Hopefully, we will like our new home and it will be worth it because, financially we will be taking a real hit what with the economy the way it is!!! But there are things in life more important than money
 
Old 01-26-2009, 01:27 PM
 
2,015 posts, read 4,662,021 times
Reputation: 1863
Quote:
Originally Posted by whoopeedew View Post
My home is in Washington state, and I moved to Southern California back 8 months ago to take care of my mom because my dad died unexpectedly. The only thing is that my husband is still up in Washington in our house, because he can't get a job down here with the economy and another reason he doesn't want to move down here...he hates California. But I hate Washington. We have a great marriage and kids but I don't know what to do. I truly hate the rain, but feel like many people live where they don't want to, and maybe I should move back? Any suggestions?
We "moved back" to NE OH because this is where our family is and where we wanted to raise our children (around grandparents, aunts, uncles). That was 25 years ago. The winters here are killer for me, meaning dealing with SAD. I assume that the rain in Washington can be just as grey and cold as the snow and ice we have here in NE OH. It it was just snow and ice, it might be bearable, but the greyness for 6 months is extremely depressing. It affects everything.

I've come to the conclusion that some people have no problems living in months of greyness, with little sunshine. I am not one of those people. It didn't bother me until I got into my late 30's. I am now 46. One more winter here and there will be a van coming to pick me up, bringing a strait jacket with them.

As far as whether you should move back or not, your husband and children are there in Washington. It would be nice if they could come down to SD with you. Talk to your hubby and see what he thinks.

I'm going to be going to SD the first week of February for business. I'll have three days to explore the area before my business meetings start. I'm looking forward to it. This is a tough dilemma. You have to do what works for you (and your family).

At this point, money, losing money on a house, whatever, who cares. Life is too short. If you look around, the older you get, people are dying every day, some old, some young. Enjoy life while you can because you can't wait forever to be happy. Life is too short to be unhappy.

I wish you (and me and all on this thread who are in the same boat) - the very best!
 
Old 01-26-2009, 01:31 PM
 
2,015 posts, read 4,662,021 times
Reputation: 1863
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunshineann View Post
Ditto..I use to live in Pa. moved to Missouri...I tried, but i hated it there. I didnt care for Pa. either, and i grew up there. lol...Anyways i lived in Missouri for 6 years. After many happenings in our life, we decided that we needed to move with our kids...We moved in December...and we love our new home..
You have to go with what your heart is telling you. I know i'll get ribbed about that with the economy, We had to look at it as...we are miserable here...and if we move even with the economy..whats the worse that can happen? the economy is bad everywhere. It was the best thing for our family.
I know what you mean about getting ribbed about the economy; I won't be one of those people who brings that up because you are right, it is bad everywhere. If people waited for everything to be perfect before they stepped outside of their comfort zones, no one would ever do anything. The economy, schmonomy, life is too short to live somewhere where you don't want to be. I think that when your mindset is positive, when you're where you want to be and are supposed to be that opportunities open up. Glad that you're doing well in your new home!
 
Old 01-29-2009, 03:24 PM
 
Location: Niles, Michigan
1,692 posts, read 3,192,250 times
Reputation: 868
I know how you feel. I lived all my life in MIchigan and because my husband couldn't find work we moved last summer to North Carolina. He works in Virginia. I hate it so much. I want to go home so bad and so dooes our children. But go home to what. I pray everyday that we can all soon live and work in whatever state you want. I was saying to my husband all I ever wanted is to live where I feel I belong, work , raise a family. Have Christmas, Birthdays, and all the other things life has. If people want to live somewhere else than that is great, my hope is that things get better and people can have a choice to live anywhere and still be okay.
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