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Old 03-19-2007, 06:51 AM
 
95 posts, read 257,272 times
Reputation: 31

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I have enjoyed reading this board and everyone's stories of relocation. There is one thing that I haven't seen addressed that is a BIG issue for me. How do you deal with being NERVOUS about the relocation? I know this is the best thing for my family. We can no longer stay where we live now and live a full life. It's best for my son, my husband and me. But I am a creature of habit. Change is really hard for me. Even good change. We are planning our relocation in June. I am beginning to feel the extreme nervousness coming on. I am talking the kind where it is hard to function. Did anyone else experience this and how did you cope? It has helped to read the message board and see others have dealt with the move and survived...

Would anyone like to share your coping skills? Thanks!
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Old 03-19-2007, 06:56 AM
 
Location: Wake Forest
2,834 posts, read 10,809,377 times
Reputation: 1051
Generally does any big change make you nervous? I guess I am trying to determine if it is the MOVE that is making nervous or if it is the changes that are making you nervous? A move it a huge leap of faith and adventure....but....when my brother in law and sister moved from here to new hampshire they were nervous. The thing that they both said though, was the move and having to depend on each other was a good thing for them. They had two kids while they lived there and really felt like a "family" making their way on their own.

I know it is scary, but try and think of it as more of an adventure than anything else!

Leigh
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Old 03-19-2007, 07:09 AM
 
Location: suffolk county, NY
12 posts, read 50,130 times
Reputation: 15
Default normal and expected

my wife and i are also planning on relocating over the next 12 months.the issue of nervousness is normal and expected. especially if you are moving to an area very different from where your from. my wife and i are both from long island, ny and can see that his move will be worlds apart from our present life. but thats why we want to move, because our present life is too chaotic, too expenseive, too much professional time and too little personal time.

Do your homework: talk to people, ask questions on the forum, make a list of pos and neg, go and visit.

Make a choice: once you decide to go....MAKE it happen. the longer you wait, the more the anticipation and the "shoulds, coulds and woulds" begin to seep in and increase your anxiety. you wouldn't be thinkin of moving if you were content...remember that.

Be Patient: it takes the average person between 6 months and a year to fully adjust to a new environment. it wont feel like home right away, its not supposed to. you will make it a home over the course of time. you will meet new people, have a new "routine" and get into step with the coulture you move to.

this is whats worked for me. i've moved about 10 times over my lifetime an always went back "home" (LI, NY). this time i am leaving for good and thats scary but exciting.

enjoy the process and a chance to have the family life you want.

GOOD LUCK!! feel free to pm me!
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Old 03-19-2007, 07:46 AM
 
2,005 posts, read 5,121,815 times
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I can relate sort of. We are moving in two short weeks from Colorado. Even though we love it here, we no longer can sustain a good standard of living and it just doesn't make sense to be here any longer. I was totally fine until yesterday when the anxiety settled in. The way I cope is by telling myself (and others) that this is the right thing to do, we will have a better life there, we will be near family, and that I'm tired of all the brown we see in Colorado. We are ready for something new, a new adventure, a new place to explore and a place to make new memories. Anxiety can be paralyzing, I know. But I agree with the previous post, make your decision and just do it. Good luck.
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Old 03-19-2007, 08:48 AM
 
3,077 posts, read 4,989,904 times
Reputation: 5300
Default Right behind you....

We're planning to relocate from Long Island to Raleigh this June. Quite frankly my wife is struggling with nerves as well. While we both accept that this move makes perfect sense and in many ways are excited to be making it, there are so many unknown variables.

Knowledge is power and so I agree with the advice posted earlier to research, read and share with others. Also, having a definitive plan in place goes a long way towards making things manageable. We're first now selling our house and need to wait until that happens before shopping in earnest for our new home. But that's the first major step in our action plan. Hopefully things will start moving quick enough at this point so neither of us has time to think about much beyond the next step.

Good luck with your move.
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Old 03-19-2007, 09:57 AM
 
54 posts, read 337,412 times
Reputation: 49
Fear of the unknown is the worst. Seven years ago, our family moved from Atlanta to northern CA. Talk about a change. It was the scariest thing I've ever done. It is indeed a leap of faith. I agree with the previous posters, you need to try to look at it as an adventure. Focus on all of the new places to experience. Read the local paper online every day. It helps to feel like you know what is going on in the area. Plan on going to an event or two that occurs after you'll be arriving.

After our move to California, I learned that your day to day life doesn't really change that much. For the most part, he stores are the same, the restaurants are same and more importantly people are the same. They may speak with a bit of an accent or dress a bit differently but they have the same basic qualities of your friends back home.

We'll be moving to the area in June. This time, I'm excited about all of the new places to go and friends to meet. There seem to be quite a few of us moving to the area in June. Maybe we could start a meetup.com. group and commiserate when we get there. It's always nice to talk to someone that is going through a smilar situation. Anyone else game?
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Old 03-19-2007, 11:03 AM
 
Location: Raleigh, NC
11,791 posts, read 27,436,549 times
Reputation: 8114
I have to agree that moving is stressful, no matter if you move 5 miles down the road or 5,000.

Once you get to the area and get a better feel for what is here, I think some of that nervousness will go away.

Most of my relocating clients all say the same thing. They felt very nervous not knowing the area and having to rely on your Realtor is nerve racking...at first! Once you build up that trust and fell that your agent is trying to help you...you'll relax a bit.

Once you begin looking at homes and different areas, you'll become better educated and will form your own opinions, not relying so much on others. After all, you know what YOU FEEL and what makes you feel at home.

After about the 2nd day of looking at neighborhoods and homes, my clients tell me that they "all of a sudden feel relieved".

Take a deep breath...relax...you can do this.

P.S. I must disclose...I am not a psychiatrist, attorney or marriage counselor!!!

Vicki
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Old 03-19-2007, 12:22 PM
 
237 posts, read 933,156 times
Reputation: 68
I think talking to a professional about your anxiety is very helpful. That is what i did and I ended up LOVING therapy. If you want the therapists name, PM me. He is great and helped my family tremendously in the beginning
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Old 03-19-2007, 12:36 PM
 
12 posts, read 40,086 times
Reputation: 13
Relocating is fun.

My wife and I moved to Raleigh in March of 2006 from Maryland. I saw the city once when I was 10 and then again for 2 hours during a job interview.

We where looking to move somewhere but didn't know where. Just picking up and moving is a big change, but it's alot of fun.

We knew nobody and told ourselves let's just pick up and check something out. You can always go back if you don't like it.
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Old 03-19-2007, 01:20 PM
 
122 posts, read 387,343 times
Reputation: 39
I relocated to San Francisco Bay Area 10 yrs ago from upstate NY by myself. I remember how scared I was and I did go through some pretty rough times at first. But now I look back at it and see how it made me a stronger person and now I know I can do anything. I have heard that it takes at least 2 yrs to get used to a new place. I have learned that you need to put yourself out there to meet people. Join a book group, newcomers club, etc. From reading different postings it sounds like people in the South are very friendly and I'm sure you will have no problem meeting people. Remember most people are new to an area at some time and know how you feel. Look at the move as a fresh start. I'm excited for you and your family! Have fun!
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