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Old 03-23-2009, 09:02 PM
 
Location: NW. MO.
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I just wonder if others who have moved around a lot really feel like they are home or even give it much thought? When someone asks you where you are from what do you say? I don't feel like I'm attached to the place I currently live and I never really grew up any one place so I'm not really "from" anywhere in particular. I want to find a place that feels like I found home but It's not here.
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Old 03-23-2009, 09:48 PM
 
804 posts, read 1,736,231 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by misplaced1 View Post
I just wonder if others who have moved around a lot really feel like they are home or even give it much thought? When someone asks you where you are from what do you say? I don't feel like I'm attached to the place I currently live and I never really grew up any one place so I'm not really "from" anywhere in particular. I want to find a place that feels like I found home but It's not here.
Living in many places gives you a broad range of experiences and exposure to many people. The downside is that you may not feel like you "fit" in any one place. But when you find the right environment that fits you, it will feel more like home. That could be a combination of the right job, compatible friends, boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse, etc.
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Old 03-24-2009, 04:26 AM
 
Location: Camping in the motorhome
1,371 posts, read 1,107,868 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by misplaced1 View Post
I just wonder if others who have moved around a lot really feel like they are home or even give it much thought? When someone asks you where you are from what do you say? I don't feel like I'm attached to the place I currently live and I never really grew up any one place so I'm not really "from" anywhere in particular. I want to find a place that feels like I found home but It's not here.
I spent most of my life moving from place to place, because my dad was in the miltary. I enjoyed that so much, and each new place became home. When my DH and I moved here two years ago, I thought that it would be the same way.....nope, not the case. I feel like I'm living in a fish bowl here, and even DH says he can't get used to the way things are in this state. We're trying to ride it out until hubby retires, but not too sure either one of us can last that long.......
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Old 03-24-2009, 04:43 AM
 
Location: Still in Portland, Oregon, for some reason
868 posts, read 3,080,153 times
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Sometimes you don't realize how much of a home it was for you until you've left. I finished up my high school career at a boarding school in Pennsylvania and while I was there, it never felt quite 'right' and I loved going home to Portland. I graduated in 2005 and since then, I've been back to PA once. Strangely, it now feels like going home, more so than it ever did when I went to school there. I'm not sure if it's because I was going back on my own terms for fun but it was certainly an awesome time being there. I was there in August and would seriously like to go back again. Unfortunately I'm a bit tied down right now.

But to reply to your question, I know how you feel.
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Old 03-24-2009, 08:42 AM
 
1,688 posts, read 6,908,297 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by misplaced1 View Post
or even give it much thought?

When someone asks you where you are from what do you say?
I've given it lots of thought. I've sort of come to the conclusion that there are those of use destined to be nomads.... at least until it becomes impractical.

I've never, in my entire life, lived anywhere longer than 5 years. That's a lot of moving (I'm 41). First it was my dad's job, then either a choice or a combination of circumstances without much choice.

I had to chuckle at the "where are you from" question. I've learned to neatly side-step the issue because I'm not from anywhere. I reply with a cheery, "Oh, well, my husband is from _____ and we moved here from _____". I know, a non-answer but it''s usually enough to get them to move along.

Home is usually where I live - I differentiate between house and home. "Home" is what we make of the inside of a house, if you see what I mean. It's a moveable feast.

There is a big part of me that wishes we could find the "right" place maybe somewhere that we could call home for a long time. I keep looking, so far it remains elusive. All I know is that where we are now is not it by any stretch. It's time to chalk it up to experience and move on and try again. Fate moves in mysterious ways and who knows what's around the corner? I have to take the view or I'd go nuts.

I think for those of us who grew up moving from place to place (either within the US or both in and out of it), it's harder. I know of some that grew up this way and then almost as a counter-reaction, they find a place and never move again. But others, myself included, have yet to find the place from which they never want to move.

You're not alone in feeling the way you do, put it like that.
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Old 03-24-2009, 11:19 AM
 
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Excellent post, Five Horses. I especially agree with this part: "I've sort of come to the conclusion that there are those of use destined to be nomads.... at least until it becomes impractical." My grandma used to call this having gypsy blood. She'd say it with a smile, but at this stage of my life, I'm not so sure she was kidding.

Take of piece of the earth with you, misplaced1. I mean that literally. Find something in where you live that is from the earth, that you feel very comfortable around when you see it or feel it. A particular flower? Dry that flower and keep it with you. Or a small rock from the beach, a bottle of sand from the desert, etc. That may connect you to where you are for the time being. Just a thought, here.

Whether people stay in one place their whole lives, or move a lot, it is still a hard trick to be comfortable in our own skin these days. There are those people who are at home no matter where they are or who they are with - or what they own. Maybe they're on to something...I don't think it necessarily has to do with living in one place your whole life.

Remember, "you're not alone in feeling the way you do" ~
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Old 03-24-2009, 01:15 PM
 
1,688 posts, read 6,908,297 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SeeBee View Post
My grandma used to call this having gypsy blood. She'd say it with a smile, but at this stage of my life, I'm not so sure she was kidding.

it is still a hard trick to be comfortable in our own skin these days.
- It must be a grandmother thing. My own, and you have to hear this with a heavy, heavy NY accent - STILL says, "Gypsies, I tell ya! Yous are all a bunch of gypsies." She does mean it!

It's a difficult thing for those of us who move frequently. We can learn to become (indeed I'd argue it's actually a survival technique in a way) social chameleons. We adapt to a new way of life, a new setting, new people, etc. so as to blend in and "fly below the radar". But every now and then one lands in a situation where, pretty much regardless of what one does, one can't blend in, or one finds no niche. I don't see this as inflexibility - for I know I'm certainly not - but perhaps more along the lines that oil and water just don't mix. I'm currently in such a situation. It isn't that there anything wrong with the place &/or the people, it's just that I (the oil perhaps) don't fit in (the water). I don't see it as a failing on either side - what is, is. I just accept that fact and move on.

I've always found it easiest to relocate to some less-than-pleasant corner of the world. Strange but true - perhaps because we all live with the realities of the situation, there's an immediate sense of belonging and understanding of the trials and tribulations of being there. It's ironic how some of the best social conditions have been in the least pleasant or most difficult living conditions.
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Old 03-24-2009, 02:30 PM
 
Location: Cosmic Consciousness
3,871 posts, read 15,508,364 times
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Never quite feel like you are "home" ?

Actually, no, I don't feel that way. Because my choice is happiness, not regret. And wherever I go, there I am, and I am my home.
Many places I've lived have felt unfamiliar initially, and thaT was because they were. So I got used to them, and they became familiar and friendly just as many others had. In the process of living my choices, the world has become where I hang my hat
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Old 03-24-2009, 04:17 PM
 
Location: GA
2,753 posts, read 9,590,851 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by allforcats View Post
Never quite feel like you are "home" ?

Actually, no, I don't feel that way. Because my choice is happiness, not regret. And wherever I go, there I am, and I am my home.
Many places I've lived have felt unfamiliar initially, and thaT was because they were. So I got used to them, and they became familiar and friendly just as many others had. In the process of living my choices, the world has become where I hang my hat
Exactly. It's more a state of mind. I have felt "at home" every place I have lived.
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Old 03-24-2009, 04:23 PM
 
Location: cape girardeau
893 posts, read 1,387,238 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VC dreamer View Post
I spent most of my life moving from place to place, because my dad was in the miltary. I enjoyed that so much, and each new place became home. When my DH and I moved here two years ago, I thought that it would be the same way.....nope, not the case. I feel like I'm living in a fish bowl here, and even DH says he can't get used to the way things are in this state. We're trying to ride it out until hubby retires, but not too sure either one of us can last that long.......
You must be in Central Texas, lol. I am the same way. having lived in Arkanasas,Virginia,Tennessee,Alabama,Germany, Italy, and now Texas. The only place that I felt really at home was Alabama. I loved it there. I thought I'd find the same feeling here in Centex but 4 years later and a mortgage....its still not there.
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