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Old 03-27-2009, 01:34 AM
 
Location: Some place very cold
5,500 posts, read 20,060,261 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rusheib View Post
I too have been with this company a long time. 16 years. That would be a lot to give up. Thanks for all of the input - this forum is great and is helping a lot.
What you are giving up in seniority and security. Otherwise, staying at a company too long can be a negative on the resume.
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Old 03-27-2009, 06:00 AM
 
5,823 posts, read 10,150,738 times
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You'd rather have a lower paying job in drab Ohio than a higher paying one in sunny Houston....mind-blogging!
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Old 03-27-2009, 06:02 AM
 
Location: Amelia View
4,211 posts, read 12,556,243 times
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FiveHorses has it exactly right!!! rusheib - do not worry about your kids! They will adjust to being away from extended family, but NOT in a negative way, no not at all.

Our daughter was 10 years old when we "snatched" her away from family and friends when we made our first long-distance move. It was a huge adjustment (for all of us), but we did adjust and we're still as close - if not closer! - to our families even though we're physically many many miles apart.

Think of this, too ... who knows where your children's lives will take them when they are looking at colleges or are applying for jobs. They are learning now, at a young age, that moving a distance away from family can be a doable thing to do, and that the world won't come to an end if the perfect college or job is 1000 miles away from home.

So, since you can't pack up your family today and head to Ohio, just take a deep breath and know you have not made a world-ending decision by moving to Texas. Work towards your future, but enjoy your present.

Quote:
Originally Posted by FiveHorses View Post
I'd like to address this - i.e. bringing up children away from extended family.

It need not mean "we are here, you are there and never the twain shall meet". Far, far from it.

For what it's worth: my siblings and I grew up thousands and thousands of miles away from my extended family. My father's job kept us moving all over.

It is, to a huge extent, up to you and your wife. Out of sight, doesn't mean out of mind. Ohio to Texas... well, in this day and age, it is but a hop, skip and jump.

My siblings and I spent every summer back with extended family - and I mean the entire summer holiday from school! (My aunt should have had her head examined bless her! ) I grew up being extremely close to all my grandparents, my aunts and uncles, my cousins. We once added up how long we'd actually lived with my aunt and uncle... and it came out to years. Our summer holidays were just superb (in our book, adults might have had a different view) - something very special that we all remember, and get hysterical laughing about, to this day.

Maybe what I'm trying to say it that quantity isn't necessarily a reflection of quality. I know that's a horrid cliche and it pains me to use it, but I can't think of a better way to phrase it.

I don't remember this, but my mother tells me that as I child I told her that it was ok if she and my father passed on because I knew I'd go live with my aunt and uncle. As mortifying as it is to hear that as an adult, but now myself a parent, I realise that it means something entirely different to a parent to hear that. But my point is that I'd left living in that area (actually we left the country!) at the age of three... but I was close enough to extended family to feel that years later regardless of having lived on a different continent most of the time.

At the end of the day, there is the phone, there is the internet, there are cards to be made and written, there are trips to be made. And it's a two way street... you go there, they come to you. All will learn in the process. It will require more effort - absolutely. And the shape of the relationship may change slightly too.... but it will take on a unique shape all its own.

I hope this helps.
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Old 03-27-2009, 07:07 AM
 
2,312 posts, read 6,677,873 times
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Yes, but the OP says this move is hard on his wife's health. That's def. something to consider. There's no right answer here, unfortunately.

Maybe the OP can have a family member who is willing and available move in with them to lend a helping hand?
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Old 03-27-2009, 08:43 AM
 
Location: TX
87 posts, read 255,801 times
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Again, thanks for all of the thoughtful input! The time and life examples everyone puts into this forum is very uplifting. i check back on this forum several times a day for encouragement and strength.

Woof! had a good point - I think I will keep the networking active. I'll try to enjoy my move and decision, and if something opens up in Ohio then I will have a choice to make. I think times are too tough right now to just pick up and move. If in another year my wife and I are on the same page about moving back then I'll seriously consider dropping everything and moving back.

Until then I will pack away the money and see what happens. My kids miss their friends and old life so much it breaks my heart when I see them cry and talk about their old life. I'll do my best to live in the now and see where the road takes us. Maybe back "home" or maybe here in this "home."

Thanks! I truly appreciate all of your input. I hope to help others on this forum as well.
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Old 03-27-2009, 09:06 AM
 
Location: Nebraska
4,178 posts, read 9,413,918 times
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I lived in Texas for awhile. It didn't 'fit' me either - but I have to say that the experiences I took advantage of while I was there helped to define me ever after. Texas has a LOT to offer, especially kids - history, activities, excitement, or just peaceful and beautiful places to relax and learn. You could go to incredible zoos and beautiful parks in the afternoon, and dine at a charming five star French restaurant that night. You could go to a neighborhood party the following night. The people of Texas whom I met were - in the main - warm and welcoming, honest and with little artifice. The larger cities have a lot of 'transplants' from all over the country; I made friends from all over while I was there.

Life is a journey, not a destination. I'd relax, expand, enjoy and experience whatever I could - especially in today's job market, finding a job, especially one that will pay to move you again, is going to be difficult. I won't ever move back to or live in Texas again, but I value the time I spent there, the people I met who enlightened me, and the fabulous local festivals and pride in the history of the area.

I lived in OH too, btw, and I won't ever go back there again, either!! Of course I don't have family there to draw; but I do have many friends still. Ohio has a different mindset in different areas too - Columbus is as far mentally from Cincinnatti and Cleveland as Washington Court House is from Akron. Learn from what and where you are experiencing right now, and don't be too precipitous. Children especially at the young ages you describe are adaptable - but won't be, if you let them know even subliminally "this is a baaaad place".
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Old 03-27-2009, 09:31 AM
 
414 posts, read 891,234 times
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Well, as someone who is currently living in Ohio, with all her family here AND coming from someone who is probably going to be moving with her husband in less than a year...I think you did what you thought would be best for your family. You didn't fully know the effect this would have on your wife and your kids are young and resiliant so they will come to love Texas.

Perhaps you can discuss with your boss about making a few less overnight trips or taking a position within the company (assuming one is available or may come up) that does not require you to travel from home. Or maybe hire someone to help your wife out. I'm sure you've made some friends down there...maybe someone would be willing to lend a helping hand on the days you're gone.

My husband and I are personally struggling with the idea of moving away from our family and friends. We both grew up in the same hometown and both of our parents live here. So does my sister, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins....but we also have family elsewhere. His brothers live in Colorado and New York, and I have close family elsewhere. But, we have to do what will be best for the two of us. We know where we'd like to go but we will have to see what happens. My husband is an elementry teacher and was lucky enough to land a job...but I graduate in December and will be teaching middle school language arts and social studies and those jobs are hard to come by in Ohio. So, if we move, it is very probable that we will both land jobs. (just to show you the situation we are in a bit, as I'm sure many other Ohioans are since the job market here isn't too good)

I say stick it out, enjoy your time there and maybe things will work out. There is a lot to experience in Texas that Ohio does not offer, so use that to your advantage. Maybe it's not the right place for you...maybe it is. Take each day with a positive attitude and pray for the best. Good luck to you and your family. I hope everything works out!
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Old 03-27-2009, 09:45 AM
 
Location: Central Texas
20,413 posts, read 37,797,914 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by clevedark View Post
Yes, but the OP says this move is hard on his wife's health. That's def. something to consider. There's no right answer here, unfortunately.

Maybe the OP can have a family member who is willing and available move in with them to lend a helping hand?
The OP said that he could "see" that it was hard on his wife's health, but his wife seemed to feel otherwise - or, at least, that they should stay where they are. That's what I was talking about when I said he needed to not discount what his wife says.

OP, is there something objective that indicates that the move is hard on your wife's health? Has she said so? Has her doctor said so?
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Old 03-27-2009, 12:00 PM
 
Location: TX
87 posts, read 255,801 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TexasHorseLady View Post
OP, is there something objective that indicates that the move is hard on your wife's health? Has she said so? Has her doctor said so?
Just what I can see and know abouther condition. As a type 1 diabetic her sugar numbers should stay around 100. If it goes higher she takes a shot of insulin. Her numbers are around 175 to 200 lately.

I have seen her take a lot more shots lately. I asked her how she was doing and she said the stress of the move and when I'm gone at night raises her numbers. Her energy level drops when her numbers get high, and being home alone some nights causes stress which raises her numbers. It's tough on her when I'm gone.

I honestly think she is putting on a brave front and I will watch this closely. There is nothing wrong with this, but if it is hurting her physically it isn't worth it. If her numbers don't improve she may have to go on an insulin pump, which is something neither of us want.

That's another reason having family close is so important. Her condition will not improve. We only hope to keep things stable, but eventually they will get worse over time. Having some help as only extended family can provide may prove very important. But SHE will not let her condition be the reason we move back, I know that.

She is not the type to admit we maybe made a mistake in the move. She is the type many talk about on this site as making the most of the situation. Me on the other hand - I am quick to say oh well, let's do something different if we need to.

I hope that helps.

Thanks!
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Old 03-27-2009, 01:40 PM
 
Location: Nebraska
4,178 posts, read 9,413,918 times
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It's true that those numbers do not sound good, and stress is a BIG factor. But many folks with type 1 diabetes live for many years; even with periods of dynamic changes in their numbers/stress.

Getting someone to help her when you are gone is an excellent idea as is seeing if you can spend more nights home. Another thing to think about is that the diet is VERY different in TX than in OH - a lot more beans, tortillas, spices - all of which can play a glucose/carb system haywire. Red rice, richly spiced shredded meats, sour cream, cheeses, and refried beans are not a diabetic's friend, especially if they are not used to them! The heat minus the humidity also plays a part in a diabetic's world as well... dry heat draws more unnoticed sweat and therefore more hydration out of a diabetic. Hate to be so blunt but there it is - I had to pass out twice before I realized that I had to drink twice as much in TX to remain 'normally' hydrated! The up-and-down of these external effects on a normally-maintained BGL can cause stress in and of themselves... There may be a lot more going on chemically, and it wouldn't hurt to get her back on the regimen of keeping track of what she ingests, as well as her output, and her BGL levels before and afterward. It's a drag, I know, but taking control of the situation inevitably helps, both physically and mentally.
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