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Old 04-09-2009, 07:54 PM
 
Location: Land of 10000 Lakes +
5,554 posts, read 6,015,436 times
Reputation: 8561

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Quote:
Originally Posted by soonerguy View Post
The first year or so in a new place can be very trying, especially if you are far from home and have lived most of your life in the same place. I think you are right to give it at least another year. You may go back home and end up wishing you had stayed put, something that has happened to me. I think everyone needs at least 2 years to get used to a new place. Meanwhile, take in the Texas lifestyle. There is so much to see and do where you are at. Explore San Antonio and the quaint little towns of the Hill Country. Go to Padre in the summer and visit the valley for fresh citrus fruit. What about the difference in the winters? I would think that would be a big selling point. As far as your kids' memories go, the summer trips back to Ohio might end up being some of their best memories. They may not get to spend as much time with family, but the time they do spend together will be much more meaningful. Also, if you have a big house, you can have them visit you!

My instincts say move back home but sooner is right when he says two years. Two years is the norm for full adjustment. The first six months are the worst. I'm not saying that's a reason to stay in your case, just reiterating to anyone who might have moved and is not happy during the transition.

I have nothing against Texas but you have to admit from all I've heard is that Texas is a state unto itself and that may take some mighty getting used to.
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Old 04-10-2009, 08:24 AM
 
Location: TX
87 posts, read 255,820 times
Reputation: 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by michiganmom48 View Post
Also I understand missing things. I know people say that it doesn't matter but if you were raised around family it does. I can remember all kinds of things I did growing up with family around. It is those memories that to this day make me smile and know I belong to a bigger family. We have a 16,6,6 and 2 year old here and it hurts me that they miss those times. I hate having to think in your mind that if this person dies we won't go home and if this person does we will. It is insane. I pray everyday that people can once aggain live where they want and find a job there. All I ever wanted was to live my life where I was , have what I have and just be there living life. I never thought I would have to do that in another state away from everyone I love. I get what you are saying and I have posted things to and was told to suck it up. You have the right to feel what you feel. The problem is that if you can't change it right now you have to come to terms with it until you can, and pray that that comes sooner than later.
I agree. I think if you were raised around family than that's "life." If some people weren't raised the same way, they have a different perspective. Not one way is better than the other, it's just what we are used to. Giving up what we know as "life" is not worth it for anything. Money, house, etc. The pace of our life now is fast paced. That's not who we are.

Again, nothing wrong with that life, it's just not "us." We need to do what's right for our way of living, and what we want out of life. I made a huge mistake, but it's not permanent. I just need to think of a way out.
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Old 04-10-2009, 10:00 AM
 
Location: Land of 10000 Lakes +
5,554 posts, read 6,015,436 times
Reputation: 8561
You both seem to know yourselves well enough so I think it's more than homesickness. Just not your lifestyle or the kind of place you want to be. Have patience and you will eventually get what you want since you are single-focused. But it's a good thing you tried it out and posted it here to remind people that materialism does not make for happiness. Good luck to you.
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Old 04-13-2009, 08:08 AM
 
Location: Western North Carolina
4,948 posts, read 7,876,691 times
Reputation: 10420
I think you are finding out something that I don't think a lot of the posters on this re-location forum oftern realize. I know I didn't. Just because you "researched" an area and are able to secure a job and housing there, does not necessarily mean it's ever going to be "home". I also sold a house I loved and lost quite a bit of money making a big move, only to return back to where I started from two years later. I was able to get a job back with my old company,and another house, but lost my seniority and my three weeks of vacation. I don't care, I'm happier now. I know now how important it is to be at least within easy traveling distance from extended family, even if you don't get to see them all the time. And it's important to my children, whether they realize it now or not. You only live once, take time to really think about it, and good luck with your decision.
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Old 04-13-2009, 08:28 AM
 
Location: Texas
5,070 posts, read 8,983,457 times
Reputation: 1632
Quote:
Originally Posted by rusheib View Post
I agree. I think if you were raised around family than that's "life." If some people weren't raised the same way, they have a different perspective. Not one way is better than the other, it's just what we are used to. Giving up what we know as "life" is not worth it for anything. Money, house, etc. The pace of our life now is fast paced. That's not who we are.

Again, nothing wrong with that life, it's just not "us." We need to do what's right for our way of living, and what we want out of life. I made a huge mistake, but it's not permanent. I just need to think of a way out.
Maybe you can talk to your company about cutting travel time or possibly consolidating your trips.
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Old 04-13-2009, 10:23 AM
 
48,516 posts, read 83,912,172 times
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I rememebr my parents talking about this but when they did it ;you did jump on a jet to visit home. They said tho after a few years anything beyond two weeks and they missed their family home and the children and grandchildren as they came more.This si common with anyone that has not lived away from family really and childhood friends.I know the service was the first time i really left home and then college which made great changes in how I saw things.Some tho can't break the chains as I have seen.
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Old 04-13-2009, 05:39 PM
 
Location: Texas
5,070 posts, read 8,983,457 times
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When I was at college, I was once at the cafeteria, sitting at a table where international students tended to gravitate. They were talking about how homesick they were, and how they would sometimes cry about it. Several of them would go to the post office several times a day, in spite of the fact that the mail would only be delivered once a day.
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Old 04-13-2009, 08:16 PM
 
1,688 posts, read 6,910,804 times
Reputation: 1988
Quote:
Originally Posted by montanamom View Post
I think you are finding out something that I don't think a lot of the posters on this re-location forum oftern realize. I know I didn't. Just because you "researched" an area and are able to secure a job and housing there, does not necessarily mean it's ever going to be "home".
I have to disagree with you Montanamom - I think a lot of us on here DO realise what the OP is experiencing probably because we've been there too. Where we may all differ is that some of us probably don't see any one move as "it" - the last time we ever have to pack up the house. Generally speaking, life doesn't work like that... it would be nice if it did.

There are ways of making any move better or any move worse. Sure, there are the blessed few where it all clicks from the time they set foot there. Others struggle for some time, but work at it and it all comes together. Others ... no, it's just never going to work and either they "do their time" insofar as a job or career move goes and then move right back to where they left. Others never even get that far and just make a U-turn.

While the OP may not have been able to accurately foresee how it was going to turn out, there are things he could to make it better &/or things he can do to make it worse - both for himself and his family.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brian.Pearson View Post
When I was at college, I was once at the cafeteria, sitting at a table where international students tended to gravitate. They were talking about how homesick they were, and how they would sometimes cry about it. Several of them would go to the post office several times a day, in spite of the fact that the mail would only be delivered once a day.
Homesickness is very real and can be absolutely debilatating to the person experiencing it. LOL - you just showed your age. Wait for the mail - as in a pen taken to paper?! When was the last time any of us did that on a regular basis?! And yes, email's been a Godsend for those of us separated from family and friends.
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Old 04-13-2009, 09:26 PM
 
Location: Texas
5,070 posts, read 8,983,457 times
Reputation: 1632
Yeah, there was one computer at the college and they were using punch cards. I saw students carrying books that said "Fortran" on it and so forth. I figured it would never amount to much.

Little did I know...

You are right, thank goodness for email!
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Old 04-14-2009, 09:40 AM
 
Location: Sacramento
13,784 posts, read 23,805,237 times
Reputation: 6195
Quote:
Originally Posted by rusheib View Post
I agree. I think if you were raised around family than that's "life." If some people weren't raised the same way, they have a different perspective. Not one way is better than the other, it's just what we are used to. Giving up what we know as "life" is not worth it for anything. Money, house, etc. The pace of our life now is fast paced. That's not who we are.

Again, nothing wrong with that life, it's just not "us." We need to do what's right for our way of living, and what we want out of life. I made a huge mistake, but it's not permanent. I just need to think of a way out.
Interesting discussion, after reading your multiple postings in this thread I would conclude that you really need to find a way to get back to your Ohio roots. I don't believe you will ever be content in Texas.

Since it was a promotion, would your company be willing to compromise a bit? I assume you have some value as an employee, and they would like to retain you. If you worked out a compromise, say something like serving in the Texas job for two years, would they be willing to allow you to lessen the travel a little bit, and give you "retreat rights" back to your old job and salary?
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