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Old 04-14-2009, 08:19 PM
 
Location: Texas
5,070 posts, read 8,992,688 times
Reputation: 1632

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How about moving the rest of the family down to Texas?

I agree with NewToCal, though. I was thinking along the same lines.
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Old 04-16-2009, 06:44 AM
 
Location: TX
87 posts, read 256,069 times
Reputation: 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewToCA View Post
Interesting discussion, after reading your multiple postings in this thread I would conclude that you really need to find a way to get back to your Ohio roots. I don't believe you will ever be content in Texas.

Since it was a promotion, would your company be willing to compromise a bit? I assume you have some value as an employee, and they would like to retain you. If you worked out a compromise, say something like serving in the Texas job for two years, would they be willing to allow you to lessen the travel a little bit, and give you "retreat rights" back to your old job and salary?
My company is small, and we have a small field sales force. Getting back to Ohio with this company would be difficult. They would help me if there was something available, but chances of that are slim. I will let them know my situation when the time is right and see what's available though.
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Old 04-16-2009, 10:15 AM
 
Location: El Paso, TX
3,313 posts, read 3,884,600 times
Reputation: 2572
Quote:
Originally Posted by rusheib View Post
I took a job promotion and moved from Ohio to Houston. I have a loving wife and two kids 6 and 4. I knew relocating would be difficult as friends and family are all back in Ohio. I won't rehash the problems with leaving everything we know - it's been covered in this forum and my situation is the same. I regret taking that part of my children's life away from them. Houston is fine, but it isn't a fit for my family.

I want to quit my job and move back to Ohio. The reason is I have to travel overnight about 2-3 nights a week. It is very difficult on my wife who is a type 1 diabetic. She has very low energy and the night alone are taking a toll on her health. I can see it. I knew the travel was involved when I took the promotion, but now that I am doing it it's a lot harder that I thought. Plus, leaving them alone in a new place makes me feel horrible when I'm out to dinner with clients staying in nice hotels.

My wife wants to stick it out, but I know we made a mistake moving and taking on this new job position. I find it easy to say we made a mistake and let's fix it. She is very kind to me and I know she would rather be back home in Ohio. She tells me we should have thought of these things before we moved and we are here now.

Honestly I didn't realize how much of an impact leaving family, having the kids miss weddings, birthdays, Easter, etc. I knew we would miss these things when we decided to move, but now that it is a reality it is different. Does that make sense? I knew it but maybe I downplayed it to justify the move.

We have a nice big house, nice income, but we're in the fastlane now. I don't like it. I like being home with my family at night and living an easy life in a modest home, and having time to play with the kids in the park. We had the good life and I chose to leave it behind. Why?

I don't know how to take the first step and move back to Ohio and get a new job. I would be OK making less money, but the job market is tough now even for any occupation. I wish I didn't take this promotion.

I left a life with a small house payment, plenty of family time, and a happy wife and kids. We now have a big house but not a home. I have a successful career but don't care. The career does not define me. Family parties in Ohio, holidays, weddings, and just raking the leaves in the backyard defines me. We had everything set up perfectly and left it behind for a job promotion.

How do I reverse this? Is there a way? I'm thinking of searching Monster.com and taking my chances. I hate to give up my four weeks of vacation and years of service with this company and start over, but I would just to get back to a simple life.

Any advice? Thanks!
How is the family doing besides you? I read how your wife supports you but how about the kids? Has their behavior changed for the worse?

Also, what type of commitment you promised the company you are not with?

You may have to balance that with your family. In other words, you may want to move back but you may want to keep your promise to a company that waited for you.

If you think the best for your family is to go back, do so. Don't think much about it. You are having job there again, right? How does your old boss may feel after you left. Some get a feeling of betrayal so be careful in saying you want want and later you get a negative pay back.

It is late but for next time maybe you need to do much better research abou the next job and the area you will be moving into. Those problems you listed are an indicator to me that you did not do a good job in that area.

I have moved so much and my family did too when the Army said it is time to go somewhere else. I always made sure to contact local school and even find future friend for our children, learn about the area, and contacted some Army wives for them to write and/or call my wife. That type of transition helped a lot.
In some cases I moved first and the family stayed behind until the school year ended and that helped me look at the area and find the best place to live and I even told my wife if I was going to spend more or less time at home due to military training and/or deployments. That prepared the family mentally and emotionaly.
You may want to sit down with your wife and ask her to let you know how she does feel there. It is possible she may start to like the area more than you do.
The same with the children. Remember the longer you take to make up your mind, the more time the children have to make friends and you have face the same problem with them again.

You have great day.
El Amigo
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Old 04-17-2009, 06:25 AM
 
Location: TX
87 posts, read 256,069 times
Reputation: 52
I am back in Ohio as I type this. My Father passed away on Easter. He was only 65. We just had the funeral yesterday. This makes things harder as my Mother is now on her own. I am going to worry about her. Wasn't expecting this so soon. We have to go back to Texas on Saturday, and I don't want to leave here.

I know we'll end up moving back, probably Spring of 2010. The kids will miss new friends in Texas, but we are going to keep our Ohio ties strong so when we get back the kids can fit right back in.

Thanks
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Old 04-17-2009, 08:25 AM
 
Location: In God's Hands
81 posts, read 174,048 times
Reputation: 87
I am very sorry about your Father's passing.
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Old 04-17-2009, 05:27 PM
 
Location: Northern Nevada
8,545 posts, read 9,337,483 times
Reputation: 3062
I was reading your posts, I am so sorry about your father...especially since it was so unexpected..many blessings on your family at this time..

I do think you have to give your move a little more time..I have heard it takes 2 full years to become accustomed to a new place, we have experienced it..we have moved 3 times i the last 5 years, and in each place we had new experiences, mostly good, some not so good, but all in all, we learned something new each time. Our sons are grown, so it's just us, but I do know that kids are more resilient than us adults...

I just hate to see you give up 16 years with your company to move back..this move happened for a reason, and you may not realize why for some time..

Maybe Texas is not for you, but you are there for now so try to make the best of it, I have never been there but hear its a wonderful place, lots of things to see and do...it would really help to try to meet new friends for yourselves..the kids will be fine... does your wife have any hobbies like scrapbooking or sewing, or like to cook, or wine tasting...I am saying this because there is a site called meetup.com and I know in our area there are groups for all kinds of interests....just thinking out loud here...

Good luck to you all..
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Old 04-21-2009, 12:59 PM
 
365 posts, read 726,595 times
Reputation: 365
I lost my mother when she was 48 and the one of the many things I learned from her passing is Life Is Short! TOO short to live somewhere you are miserable. Get back to Ohio, it seems to be your salvation. I am currently tolerating Northern New York only because my inlaws are still alive and my son benefits from living near them BUT believe me when I say the time will come when we will head back west. Texas is calling our name.
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Old 04-21-2009, 02:07 PM
 
Location: North Texas
2,487 posts, read 5,744,601 times
Reputation: 1700
Anytime you move from a different state it's hard. All my family moved to California back in the early eighty's. I look at it this way I can always go and visit. Gives me a place to go on vacation.
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Old 04-21-2009, 02:28 PM
 
Location: TX
87 posts, read 256,069 times
Reputation: 52
How is the family doing besides you? I read how your wife supports you but how about the kids? Has their behavior changed for the worse?

My kids are not doing well. When we got back to Ohio for the funeral on of my wife's good friends said my son didn't look good. A lot of stress on him from the move. My daughter is happy at our house, but cries everytime she has to go to school. I can see the stree on everyone. My wife is showing a lot of stress too.

My wife and I discussed moving back in the summer of 2010. She misses our old home and we know we can't get the same life back. jobs are the key. If we go back I will have to leave this company and start looking for something else.

I'm prepared, we have about $40,000 cash saved. I think this might be enough? We also have about $70,000 equity in our home. I may start a thread to see how much is enough to have saved for a move such as this.
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Old 04-21-2009, 03:06 PM
 
Location: North Texas
2,487 posts, read 5,744,601 times
Reputation: 1700
Quote:
Originally Posted by rusheib View Post
How is the family doing besides you? I read how your wife supports you but how about the kids? Has their behavior changed for the worse?

My kids are not doing well. When we got back to Ohio for the funeral on of my wife's good friends said my son didn't look good. A lot of stress on him from the move. My daughter is happy at our house, but cries everytime she has to go to school. I can see the stree on everyone. My wife is showing a lot of stress too.

My wife and I discussed moving back in the summer of 2010. She misses our old home and we know we can't get the same life back. jobs are the key. If we go back I will have to leave this company and start looking for something else.



I'm prepared, we have about $40,000 cash saved. I think this might be enough? We also have about $70,000 equity in our home. I may start a thread to see how much is enough to have saved for a move such as this.


I am very sorry to hear you are unhappy. What part of Texas do you live in again? What brought you here? Were you looking for something you couldn't find in Ohio? Moving is very stressful, and you have to accept change. You also have to move past comparing, if you can't you will never be happy. If you want to try and give Texas a shot you need to let go. Maybe move your mother down here either with you or close to you.
I wish you the best.
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