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Old 03-31-2009, 09:32 PM
 
2,385 posts, read 3,818,350 times
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If moving and choosing between a state that "fits" you or moving closer to family, which would you choose?

I'm about to graduate from Graduate school. I really want to move out of the state I'm in, Maryland. I don't feel like it fits me at all. I've lived here all my life, but I can no longer take the traffic congestion, rude people, and impossibly overpriced housing.

Long story short: My mom passed away and I'm not close with my dad. I have friends here in MD, but no one I really am super close with or connect to.

My choices, if I move, as I see them, are this: I can either move up to New Jersey where I'm sort of close with some of my extended family OR I can move to Austin, Texas. I've been doing some research and it seems culture-wise, Austin is a great fit for me. I like "over"friendly people, the cost of living is way cheaper and traffic is not nearly as bad. If I move to NJ, I will still have to live and cope with all of the issues I don't like abut MD (because MD and NJ are the same in those respects), but at least I will have family and feel like I belong somewhere and that I have people to rely on and not just floating out in space all by myself. I figure if I move to Austin, I will meet people because I hear they are so friendly, but if I move to NJ, even if I don't meet people, I will at least probably have my family.

I'm so confused and have about a month or so to make up my mind. I've been thinking about this for a couple of months but am still not close to making a decision. Does anyone have any suggestions or things I'm missing that I should be thinking about that may help me sort out my thoughts and feelings?
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Old 03-31-2009, 10:04 PM
 
2,385 posts, read 3,818,350 times
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ok, I know this isn't the most interesting topic, but I could REALLY use some advice!
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Old 03-31-2009, 10:21 PM
 
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Thanks to whoever left me the advice in my rep. Much appreciated
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Old 04-01-2009, 07:49 AM
 
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Hi there, I lived in MD and moved away last year. I completely get what you're saying. I was thrilled to leave there, and my husband was the native, so we left all his family and all our friends behind and haven't regetted it one single second.

Make the move. Do what your heart tells you. If you want to do Texas, do it. DH lived in Houston for 5 years and just loved it. If you don't like it, or things just don't work out for whatever reason, then move to NJ. You'll never know until you do it, and if you don't take the risk, you may always think, what if?

WE moved with two kids and knew not one single person in PA except for our realtor. If you move, put yourself out there. Talk to people, join clubs, whatever. You'll do great.
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Old 04-01-2009, 07:59 AM
 
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Violett - I think firefightermom made some very good points. You are young and single with no kids, correct? This is a good time to take some calculated risks and experiment with finding what is right for you. But I would recommend that you visit Austin before actually moving out there and definitely have a good job lined up and a safe place to live before making the move. Best of luck to you. Its a scarey but exciting time in your life.
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Old 04-01-2009, 08:35 AM
 
Location: Houston, TX
17,032 posts, read 26,873,644 times
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The only constant when you move is you and your experiences. Why not check out a new area, give it a few years and see if it grows on you. Being close to family is really over rated now that we have things like the internet and email.
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Old 04-01-2009, 11:43 AM
 
Location: Austin, TX
322 posts, read 788,345 times
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You are young and single. Move where your heart tells you. Take risks before you get tied down.
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Old 04-01-2009, 11:46 AM
 
Location: Land of 10000 Lakes +
5,554 posts, read 6,015,934 times
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I agree - spread your wings. You might get homesick but do it anyway. The first six months may be difficult but hang in there. Have courage; it always pays off. You really get to know yourself living different places and having new experiences. It's the only way, and that will help you make good future choices for yourself.

"Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid."
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Old 04-03-2009, 10:02 AM
 
Location: Greater Los Angeles area (unfortunately)
177 posts, read 656,324 times
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My advice would be to go to Austin, the place that makes you happy. If you stick around for your family in a place you hate, you won't even really get to enjoy the time you spend with them; you'll be too busy thinking of everything else wrong in your life. Trust me, I'm in a similar situation right now. We chose to move back to our hometown area instead of going to Denver; we thought being closer to family and friends would make up happy. WRONG! We hate the area and everything about it besides our families, and I'm stuck in a career I hate. Now we're planning another relocation. Don't be like us! Seize this opportunity and just focus on spending quality time with your family when you do see them. The loneliness will be really difficult for awhile, but I've heard it gets much easier with time. I wish you good luck!
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Old 04-03-2009, 11:01 AM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
9,369 posts, read 18,014,560 times
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Try Texas now while you are young. If you discover it's not for you, you can always move to NJ later on.
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