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Hi Cali. I'm sorry to hear you're nervous and your mother seems to add fuel to this (I dont mean that in a bad way). Not everyone experiences this, but some do, and you're very close to your family - a very admirable and amazing thing in this day
My advice would be to look at this whole situation as an adventure. You will be your Mom's eyes, too, how exciting will that be? You are going to go somewhere, set up camp, and then send for Mom to come and explore new territory with you! You and your Mom can remain VERY close while living far away. Most phone plans have an option for free long-distance within the U.S. now. With flights going at rock bottom rates, there hasnt been a better time to be a distance away from someone, either. Those are just some 'bright sides' to this.
There is SO MUCH that the different states have to offer, its unreal. There is no better learning experience than to be submersed in another way of life for a while, either. Even though you're still going to be in the U.S., there will be a new culture to learn about and a history of that area - take advantage of that! I would contact the chamber of commerce in the area you're moving to, or the website that has travel stuff, and get them to send you gobs of info. Lounge and read through it, share it with your Mom, and let yourself get excited and interested in different aspects of your new area that you can later explore.
If you can, allowyourself to get excited about this move, and also allow your Mom to be upset (and you as well, its ok). Its upsetting! But its still exciting as you've said. Maybe whip out a calendar and set a date for your Mom's first visit?
Thank you very much for your advice. I appreciate it very much. Im looking forward to the adventures ahead. I think that this is also a great opportunity for me as well. I get to see and experience different things as you have said. Im planning on talking to my mom this weekend to plan out a date for her to come out. I want to make it before I start work out there, just so I have all my time to spend with her. I think that with time she will slowly adjust.
Just assure her that you will contact her often and that you love her but are really looking foreward in so many ways of things you may be able to do and new places you will be able to see. If she's got a computer the two of you can have lots of great contact.
It's hard as a mom. I'm almost 39 and I have two boys, one is almost 20 and the other is 16. Hubby, I, and our youngest are planning to move out of state early next year but my oldest may choose to stay here to be near his girlfriend. He's a type 1 diabetic and he and I are pretty close. It's hard to think I'll be over half the country away if anything happens but I'm doing my best to let him know I support what he chooses but also letting him know I'm still going to be available and still worrying.
It seems like there are two kinds of people - nomads and stay-putters. Of course, this is a rough theory because I haven't even come up with very good names yet
My wife lived in Lincoln, NE all her life. My parents were air force, and no 2 of us 4 siblings were born in the same state. My wife agreed to let us move to Kansas City when I got a great job offer down here a couple years ago.
I expected her to have trouble adjusting, but surprise surprise - it was our mothers that were the most upset! I was surprised about my mom. She was in the air force, and they raised us 600 miles from the nearest grandparents. But she didn't appreciate the irony
Some mothers will never like it, but they will accept it with time. I can't give good mother-daughter advice like a lot of people have, but I can tell you that you need to make your own life, and everything/everyone will be fine. Disasters almost never happen. Distance families tend to appreciate their time together more. And of course, the internet makes it a lot easier.
I live in Western,NY(Rochester area)about 7 1/2 hours away from my father in long island and many hours away from my mother in Tampa,FL and I can honestly say that the best thing for a situation like this.....EMAIL. The best part is that allows for editing!
Location: God's Gift to Mankind for flying anything
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This has worked for us.
Make a decision to call on a regular basis, and do not sway from that.
In between, always make surprise calls, especially when you did something interesting.
Ours was:
calls to Mother, on Saturday morning.
Never forget birthdays, or anniversaries.
The kids always called Grandma when they got their report cards,
or did something special, like won a ribbon for whatever.
Share a LOT of Pictures, and I mean a LOT !!! (e-mail !!!!)
If you need to make a decision, share your thoughts.
We started this when we got married, and now 40 years later we still do that.
When you visit Home, and then you leave, promise your folks, you will call when get home again, immediately. I never realised before our kids left but now, I am on needles until I know they are home safe.
It seems like there are two kinds of people - nomads and stay-putters. Of course, this is a rough theory because I haven't even come up with very good names yet
My wife lived in Lincoln, NE all her life. My parents were air force, and no 2 of us 4 siblings were born in the same state. My wife agreed to let us move to Kansas City when I got a great job offer down here a couple years ago.
I expected her to have trouble adjusting, but surprise surprise - it was our mothers that were the most upset! I was surprised about my mom. She was in the air force, and they raised us 600 miles from the nearest grandparents. But she didn't appreciate the irony
Some mothers will never like it, but they will accept it with time. I can't give good mother-daughter advice like a lot of people have, but I can tell you that you need to make your own life, and everything/everyone will be fine. Disasters almost never happen. Distance families tend to appreciate their time together more. And of course, the internet makes it a lot easier.
Good luck!
Its kinda funny that you say the bolded above, cause my mom did the same thing. My parents moved about 400 miles away from our closest grandparents, and my moms, mom had the most difficult time with it. I guess it runs in the family lol
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Nomads and Stay-putters
