Move during kids high school years?

[KMC4]

My daughter (the oldest) it totally against the idea of moving back to PA. She's so comfortable here in Cali...she would def take the move the hardest for sure. My son (the second oldest) is ok with moving.

It's a hard decision that I wish we would've made a few years ago while the kids were all younger.

[bchris02]

I went to three different high schools. The result was having no friends. If your kids are happy in San Diego, let them graduate and then make your move. You don't want to ruin what should be the best years of their lives.

[Alaskan Mutt]

I moved many times while growing up. I went to 6 different grade schools and 2 high schools. All but 1 of the moves were during the school year. I had no problems making new friends or adjusting to the new school. While you need to include your kids in the decision to move, the loss of friends should not be the deal breaker in whether or not you move.

[michiganmom48]

Well we moved last year from Michigan to North Carolina. We had 4 kids still at home. The oldest is 16 and just completed the 10 th grade. Education was very different from State to state so expect that. Now my husband just was offered a transfer to Indiana with his company. That puts on closer to Michigan where are family is. I told my husband that the next two years of my son High School would be at the same school. We sat my son down to talk to him because if he really felt happy here and at the school I didn't want to pull him again. He said move in like 2 seconds as he has made some friends but really wouldn't have a issue moving. My husband made sure his company had a contract for two years and they do. My other kids are 7.6,2 and it is easier for them. High School is hard. We went up to the High School a few times before school started this year and that helped. Its a hard time to change because at that age you always feel self conscience about everything.

[bassholic]

I wanted to switch states and H.S's when i was growing up but my dad decided that we would stay while my mom was working and not accept other offers. In my case i wanted to be the new kid who excelled at sports, good looking, and got along with everyone. My dad thwarted my dreams, but who knows what would have happened. I still wish i would have been the new kid 10th or 11th grade yr once people had gotten into their cliques

[nikongirl24]

My hubby moved from Michigan to WV in the middle of high school. He was all for staying, especially since they had just put him in a new school district, but his brother was all about getting out of the "ghetto" as he called it, and to WV. It was a hard move, but overall, it worked out best for them financially. As they get older, they will understand that you did it for their own good, the good of your family and being closer to other family members does make the transition a lot easier to deal with.

Just make sure you are there for them during the periods of adjustment that will come. They will be mad, they will be hurt and angry (most likely), but you are the parent and you would never make a decision like that lightly or without their best interests at heart.

[yhwhshalomjr]

I wouldn't look at it as right or wrong, but what is best all the way around, for the
kids in high school, it's going to be tough to have to adjust and make new friends
teachers etc. is a major stressor for them, I personally would at least try to ride it out
unless of course you are facing financial problems that you can't care for them
wishing you the best

[mississippimagnolia]

Here's my rather harsh opinion....They'll get over it. Kids don't get to have input on adult decisions. They don't have the life skills to understand all that goes into big decisions.

I moved all over the world my entire life. My daddy was a career military officer. I married a military officer. We continued to move all over everywhere. He now works for the Federal Government...and we still move all the time. We've moved five times in the last eight years for example. We have five kids. They were all sad when we left each place. But they adapted and made friends in their new homes every single time we moved.

The result...I have kids who make friends very easily. They have lived all over the world. Because of those experiences, they have had an education that cannot be reproduced in school. My daughter's English teacher commented that my daughter was "leaps and bounds" above her peers because of her experiences.

I can't imagine living in once place all my life and never experiencing the differences both in the US and abroad. You don't get that by visiting. When you live somewhere, you take a little part of it with you when you leave.

Kids are resilient. They adjust and adapt. We have never discussed the option of moving. We are a military (now Government) family. Moving is part of our life. It's always hard to leave friends behind. But moving to a new place is exciting. It's an adventure. If you approach it positively with your kids, they will pick up on that. They will still be sad. But like I said...They'll get over it.

[michiganmom48]

If you lived a military life then it is hard for you to understand why this all can be hard. I agree that kids don't have the final say but I know they there voice should be heard. I don't agree that they just get over it. Children are people to and they have feelings and thoughts as well. I 'm not the kind of parent who jumps every time my kids want to do something or not. But moving is a big change and I believe if possible and I get it is not for everyone it is a family thing to talk about. By letting your kids share there thoughts you know what you might need to do to help them work through the move. Moving for us was the most hardest thing our family has ever done. We did it as a family. We cried when we were sad, we supported each other. My kids had a hard time, they still miss Michigan. So when we talked about another move we again came together to hear what we all were thinking.

[Alanboy395]

Actually i moved from Southern VA to Northern VA in between 10th and 11th grade. I found it very difficult to make friends, let alone quality ones the first year. By senior year, it wasnt really that bad. I'm more of a loner personaility anyway, so I find it hard to make friends period. It took me 3 or 4 years here in Northern VA to make quality friends (yes there is a difference).

At the end of the day, i dont regret leaving Southern VA during HS. I've had opportunities here in Northern VA that made the move during HS worth it. I'd make the move again if i had to.

My advice is dont be afraid to move if its best that you do but be prepared to have issues. Always try to get your kid involved in something (church, sports, clubs, etc.) so she'll have an easier transition.