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At neither time did I miss my hometown, I was simply lonely and unwilling to put an effort to make my life better. Family accepts you - especially when there's been some distance, and it's only natural to miss people.
Like you, I had a job I loved in L.A. - each time! - and when I came home, no such luck - no great job. I got accustomed to a different way of life and never feel like I fit in here. I thought I could make rationalizations about why I should live here, but now realize I can't. I wish I'd stayed put, honestly. But, I was homesick...went and moved, big mistake.
I understand the homesickness, when you are away from family, but how much worse if you move from a job you love? Right now, you are in an envious position, with so many looking for work.
What are your job options? What if you cannot find a job you like as much as the one you have now? What if your relations with your family become strained again? How will you feel then, having given up what you created there? Maybe, just maybe, you are home.
And you are only 1000 miles away, so regular visits are do-able! Don't give in and give up the life you created for a feeling that I promise you will pass - invest in your life where you are living, and see if things don't change - give it a try!
Twice I moved due to loneliness; I realize now I had friends that I did not really pursue; there were activities and events I rejected...then felt sad when I came home to visit family and they made me feel so welcome.
From my experience, the homesickness is a result of loneliness and when your family back home is all hugs & kisses, you feel even worse when you come home, right? It will pass if you try to get more active in your own life there. I promise!
I think you are very correct and this is a conclusion I have kind of been coming to myself over the past few days. I am lonely and have never been single without at least a "companion" somewhere in the wings. I am also very homesick for the first time... must be a correlation there. I have a lot here that I think I have overlooked and I really need to look again before I leap.
Heck, none of us are happy 100% of the time, but unless you've really given it your all, how will you know? Had I really been honest with myself before my move back home, I'd have known it was wrong. It *felt* wrong, but by then, it was too late...I was packed and leaving.
I say, live with no regrets...treasure the life you have made so far, try to get more involved, etc. and don't give up. There's always - I find - a reason home never felt like home and that's why we up and leave.
If, after much time, say a year or so passes and you still feel the same, then contemplate where else you may be like to explore (job lined up first, of course).
Jobs you really like are heckuva tough to come by, even in a good economy. I'm glad you have that. Just know you'll get through this little lonely patch - they come and go.
I wish you the best of luck making your life where you are the best it can be and I know you'll be happier once you give it a bit of time!
I moved to TX from Ohio and will be moving back to Ohio the summer 0f 2010 if things don't improve here. It just does not feel like home at all, and we as a family are having a hard time adjusting. We're giving it one more year and if we still feel the same we are out of here. Hopefully we don't lose our a** too much on the house, but if we're happy to go back home then I don't care. Just waking up and knowing we are in the place we belong will be worth it.
Life is too short to sit someplace while you want to be another. Every thing can be seen as an adventure. No one should feel stuck or like they have to stay a place they moved to. We gain knowledge from everything we do but that doesn't mean we can't at any time take another route.
I'm sitting again in a state I hate longing to get back out.
It's funny, because as long as I could remember, I used to dream about the day I finished school and could jump in a car and drive far, far away .. anywhere as long as it was away from where I'd been living during the schooling years.
Attended a 30-yr re-union a few yrs ago, and while I wasn't stoked at being 'back' (still would have hated to live there, lol) but was amazed at how pretty the area actually was! Not something I noticed while I was there. Must not have been high on my priority list at the time.
Maybe you would enjoy being back, although I agree with another poster .. I'd pick the city a half hour away. You'd still be close to family, but far enough away to still have your independence. There's probably a whole new world out there you'd enjoy, learning about the city you lived close to.
Another excellent point by another poster, would you have the option of finding the same job that you enjoy, in St. Louis? If so, it might be something to think about. It also wouldn't be like going back to the same place you left, as it would be a brand new environment, close to where you grew up.
I'm not sure about going back again, to places you've lived before .. but in your case, I think it would be different .. as you mentioned, you really didn't experience much of the city.
I am living about an hour from where I grew up. I wish I wasn't here! It is tempting to be closer to home and I echo other sentiments that your family loves you and plans things to do/ see when you are home. They want you to stay! They love you and you love them. And, if you are lonely, it makes it all the easier to move back home where you are welcome. What are your options right now? Groups you can join? Active community support? Work place groups? Think about this carefully before you leap into a decision. You left home for a reason.
As a last note, don't be pulled back into your hometown if you don't plan well ahead and make sure the job market in your area is strong, or better yet, you have a job waiting for you. Don't leave because you are lonely, either. I left because my husband was transferred, but neither of us wanted to move from our home when we came back. We were happily involved in our community and I miss the life I had. It stinks to start over, even if you are starting over at home.
Think about your options and don't be hasty.
I ran away Jan of 2001 went back late 2002
ran away again in 2005 went back 2008
planning on running again as soon as a job opens up!
My only thoughts on the subject due to my experience is are you creating an idealized version of what your life will be like in this town?
"You take yourself everywhere you go...." someone told me this once and sometimes its what helps me sort out the "homesick" feelings vs. what I can change in my life without moving. Maybe one of these days I'll take my own advice! lol!
Good Luck!
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Wish I'd listened to my own advice!
Yep, I miss being in L.A.
