desperate for advice (jobs, Budget, rental, cheapest)

[abradl04]

I dont know where to begin. I am from michigan and my husband does construction, last october he went to baton rouge la to find some work, since my brother lives there. He was somewhat sucessful, making 17.50 an hour cash, but he will get a 1099 at the end of the year. I came down here in april thinking this was a good place, we got a cheap rental 1300.00 a month(seriously cheapest we could find). I am an LPN and thought it was going to be a breeze to find a job, but I have tried 3 and HATE them all. I am so lonely broke, my bills are not getting paid and I want to go back. my husband says no that he likes it here, and michigan has no work. He is in construction remodeling, handy man work, not a builder. i dont know if i should go back, i am afraid the marriage will die if i go back but i cannot stay here i will loose my mind. i am crying everytime i think about home, my job here and my family. i really do not know what to do please any advice will help me. thank you, also my husbands work is very slow here too, like no work for days, that is why we are so broke, again

[faithfulFrank]

It would be difficult to give credible advice here on a forum, not knowing yoou or your spouse.
You do have a brother down there, and of course your husband.
I've always believed you cannot be happy anywhere unless you are happy with yourself.
Have you tried to get involved in local clubs, activities, volunteer work, church, etc?

It seems you may have more to be concerned with then where you live. Two people with a healthy marriage could live almost anywhere and be content. Perhaps putting more effort into making it work there together is the best choice.

You may want to post in the relationship forum, since this is more geared to specific methods, etc of moving.

Good luck,

Frank

[debtmonger]

Frank has given you some good advice. On your finances, I would get on a strict budget, keep looking for a cheaper place to rent (1300/Mo. seems awful high to me), maybe you and your husband could pick up some additional part time jobs to help. The busier you keep yourself, the better.

[abradl04]

thanks. I am working alot, he works when peolpe call him. The problem is I do not want to raise my girls 16 and 8 in this town. It is so dangerous here, accidentskilling young drivers all the time b/c of the dangerous roads and traffic issues. I understand we can be happy anywhere, but just not in louisiana. thanks for the advice i am thinking about it

[faithfulFrank]

Dear abrad,

I do care about your situation, and there are good people here with good advice.
I'm not quite sure where best to have your post. It may do better in the relationships forum, or perhaps the general U.S. forum.

I'll leave it here for right now, perhaps others here might suggest where better to move it.

8 and 16 are interesting ages to raise. How are they doing there? Do they want to move? Are they doing well in the schools and with friends? Now that we know this is a family of four, perhaps having a nice night where the whole family can sit around the table and share how they feel about their living situation, their long and short term goals, etc.

Just having everyone knowing how each other feels may help. They might help you cope with things down there now if they know how hard it currently is for you. It is more important for all to be pulling together then for anyone to be spending time and energy thinking about breaking away from the rest.

Frank.

[malamute]

Originally Posted by abradl04

I dont know where to begin. I am from michigan and my husband does construction, last october he went to baton rouge la to find some work, since my brother lives there. He was somewhat sucessful, making 17.50 an hour cash, but he will get a 1099 at the end of the year. I came down here in april thinking this was a good place, we got a cheap rental 1300.00 a month(seriously cheapest we could find). I am an LPN and thought it was going to be a breeze to find a job, but I have tried 3 and HATE them all. I am so lonely broke, my bills are not getting paid and I want to go back. my husband says no that he likes it here, and michigan has no work. He is in construction remodeling, handy man work, not a builder. i dont know if i should go back, i am afraid the marriage will die if i go back but i cannot stay here i will loose my mind. i am crying everytime i think about home, my job here and my family. i really do not know what to do please any advice will help me. thank you, also my husbands work is very slow here too, like no work for days, that is why we are so broke, again

I think you should try to make the best of it. Look for the good things your new place has to offer, but see it as a temporary situation. I believe you should be supportive of your husband, try to help him get through hard financial times. There may be other places that would work out better for you where he could still find work, would you consider them?

[debtmonger]

Raising teenagers can be very stressful, no doubt about it. Not having family and friends or a support group can also add to this stress. There are safety concerns for kids all over this country, you need to keep the lines of communication open and it is important that you and your husband get on the same page. Kids can be very savvy about working against each parent. I'm sure that you can replace the support of friends and family that you had in Michigan, you just have to make the effort. Give this some time. It's all about working together.

[rusheib]

I moved to Texas a year ago and am miserable there. It is a nice area and the people are nice, but it is not home to my family. we are moving back to Ohio next summer and will make the most of it there. My wife is on board now and that makes things work. You and your husband need to be on the same page or it will not work no matter where you live. If my wife wanted to stay in Texas I would. My marriage is more important than where I live. Having a good marriage and living where we are comfortable will be nice.

But you have to both be in agreement on where you choose to live!!

[Darrow]

Sounds to me like you and hubby should sit down and write down the pros & cons - come up with a time frame on what goals you would like to achieve and get at it. Give it your best and re-evaluate when the time frame is up.

My husband & I are talking about moving and the moving date is probably 5 years away, but I am gathering info now - subscribing to newspapers to get a feel for the towns that interest us and looking at housing. As you know it's very hard to move and begin again, something that really should be planned and everyone on the same page. I would never risk my marriage by being stubborn - I hope you guys can work it out and you find some things that will encourage you and bring happiness to the circumstance.

[sunshineann]

I feel for you. I agree, you need to sit down with your husband and talk about this. My one concern is you mentioned about moving back to Michigan and your husband said no. I feel you need to make him well aware of how you feel. How do your children feel? Others gave good advice, try making friends, joining groups or clubs, ect. until you get this figured out.
I too moved 7 years ago to a state that i tried as hard as i could to make it work...and i just ended up losing who i was on the inside. We since have moved this past to December to a state that we are in love with. Whatever you choose, remember your chosing for your children as well. Best of luck to you and your family.