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Old 04-25-2007, 11:34 AM
 
Location: VA
786 posts, read 4,311,619 times
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I think moving out to the greater Washington DC area (after living in small town Minnesota), really changed me as a person. Because it is so harsh and unfriendly here, I find that I am more likely to treat people in the same way. I am much more abrupt and cold in my interactions with people because that is how many people out here treat me.

I wonder if I moved to a smaller town in the more relaxed part of the country I would start interacting with people in a different way. Maybe I would expect people to be nicer and would interact with neighbors and coworkers in with a more relaxed and friendly touch.

Did your personality and "outlook on life" change after relocating?

Last edited by Dingler; 04-25-2007 at 11:48 AM..
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Old 04-25-2007, 11:40 AM
 
Location: Monterey Bay, California -- watching the sea lions, whales and otters! :D
1,906 posts, read 6,228,326 times
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Actually, yes. And, I will add that I was very surprised! It took me years, but I do think that I have developed more into a westcoast-type person -- a little bit more slowed down, more likely to say "hello" to a stranger, take some time to smell the roses, and just enjoy the environment. Being from the eastcoast, originally, and then going back to visit, I realize how much I have changed. I think I'm kind of a blend now, however, I also think that being out west has been a good thing, although in the beginning I didn't like it. I raised my daughter here, and she is a typical, friendly westcoaster, and she continues to remind me when my brash eastcoast side comes out!
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Old 04-25-2007, 11:50 AM
 
5,843 posts, read 14,005,830 times
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I first came to the Midwest as a college student, having spent my previous years in Upstate NY and Miami, FL. One night at about midnight I was walking back to my dorm from the library and had stopped at a crosswalk. There was another guy there, who immediately said hello and started up a conversation. My first thought: he's either sizing me up to rob, or he's looking for a sexual partner. I gradually let down my guard as we walked back to our dorms, we later became very good friends. He was a farm boy from Western Iowa, and he talked to everyone like that. Still living in the midwest, I think I am less suspicious of strangers and their motives.
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Old 04-25-2007, 11:54 AM
 
Location: on an island
13,382 posts, read 40,850,925 times
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I don't think my personality changed all that much, but my outlook did a bit.
I've consciously slowed down a little bit. Not so rush-rush.
And while it may not appear so to other posters here, I also think I became a bit more tolerant of people who have differing, perhaps a bit more conservative views from mine. While some experiences and sights have been rather eyebrow-raising, I've really appreciated the kindness shown me in my little town.
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Old 04-25-2007, 12:52 PM
 
Location: NOTfromhere, Indiana
341 posts, read 1,366,187 times
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Yes! I realize how much I miss anything modern & pretty people. Moving again! lol
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Old 04-25-2007, 01:17 PM
 
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I find that being friendly and outgoing is not as welcome here in Portland than many other places I have been and lived in my life. I also notice my personality is much more cautious now, Not that anyplace is free from crime and drugs and thugs wandering about, but here it almost seems like it is allowed, and I have to be much more careful here of being a victim of crime, or latey the feeling of being in the crossfire of gangs or thugs, whatever they may be that fight on public transit. I am finding I will leave this place because I don't like how it makes me feel or the effect on my personality.
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Old 04-25-2007, 01:21 PM
 
Location: Monterey Bay, California -- watching the sea lions, whales and otters! :D
1,906 posts, read 6,228,326 times
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Quote:
I find that being friendly and outgoing is not as welcome here in Portland than many other places I have been and lived in my life. I also notice my personality is much more cautious now, Not that anyplace is free from crime and drugs and thugs wandering about, but here it almost seems like it is allowed, and I have to be much more careful here of being a victim of crime, or latey the feeling of being in the crossfire of gangs or thugs, whatever they may be that fight on public transit. I am finding I will leave this place because I don't like how it makes me feel or the effect on my personality.
That's interesting, since Portland has made the top lists of places to live lately. Although, I do have friends who did move to Portland from elsewhere and have said the same thing about the people not being very friendly -- they said it was an unwelcome attitude to "outsiders." I'm surprised it's still like that since so many people have moved there in recent years.

I also didn't realize the gang problem was so big there. This is an eye-opener -- thanks for sharing. (Oh, I just realized -- I sound soooooo like a Californian!!! ) Hugs, all 'round!

Last edited by Wisteria; 04-25-2007 at 02:11 PM..
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Old 04-25-2007, 01:54 PM
 
2,775 posts, read 2,818,279 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ben Around View Post
I first came to the Midwest as a college student, having spent my previous years in Upstate NY and Miami, FL. One night at about midnight I was walking back to my dorm from the library and had stopped at a crosswalk. There was another guy there, who immediately said hello and started up a conversation. My first thought: he's either sizing me up to rob, or he's looking for a sexual partner. I gradually let down my guard as we walked back to our dorms, we later became very good friends. He was a farm boy from Western Iowa, and he talked to everyone like that. Still living in the midwest, I think I am less suspicious of strangers and their motives.
I have had nearly identical experiences. I find that my guard, even after 6 years is still pretty high because of my NYC experiences. People in NE Indiana where I am now are very friendly.

My outlook on life has also changed considerably. I used to be worried about "getting ahead"/"making lots of money", and about accomplishing as much as possible as quickly as possible. Rush rush rush... I used to walk so fast just about anywhere that I found myself being told by the mid-westerners I hang out with now, slow down please (I wouldn't even breathe hard but I would outwalk anyone here!).. LOL.

I am much more relaxed now, no more daily 1 mile long traffic jams which require an hour to get to just the next exit. Overall, I think moving was the best thing I could have done for my health. Work-wise, the same thing, a definite improvement. Those which I worked directly with in NYC, a bunch of sharks compared to new co-workers and managers. I was friends with each, but without fail anyone of them would take credit for my work or ideas in any situation they could to make themselves look better. It was ridiculous and stressful but I don't fault any of them directly. When you find yourself growing up in an area where there is a huge difference between the haves and have-nots, I can see how one develops these protective-mechanisms to ensure you never lose it all yourself.
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Old 04-26-2007, 01:46 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
34,587 posts, read 33,575,550 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingler View Post
I think moving out to the greater Washington DC area (after living in small town Minnesota), really changed me as a person. Because it is so harsh and unfriendly here, I find that I am more likely to treat people in the same way. I am much more abrupt and cold in my interactions with people because that is how many people out here treat me.

I wonder if I moved to a smaller town in the more relaxed part of the country I would start interacting with people in a different way. Maybe I would expect people to be nicer and would interact with neighbors and coworkers in with a more relaxed and friendly touch.

Did your personality and "outlook on life" change after relocating?
I have a theory about the DC area. Want to hear it?

I think because so many higher graded government employees work here, many tend to be on the back end of their careers. That is, they worked for their agencies awhile in field offices before moving here to get higher graded jobs in their headquarters operations and so they tend to be older. These people are not vested in the area, interested in establishing roots. They know they are just passing through until they retire. Because many are older, many move without young children, another reason to not be vested in the community (no school ties).

Because they tend to have longer amounts of service, they accumulate a lot of leave --- and they use it to go "home" during Christmas, for example, when they have to use their use or lose. This is a time most communities feel a bond with their friends and family but for these people, their friends and family are somewhere else, so they take their days off and go to where those people are. They don't make the DC area their home after they retire. They have little interest in local happenings/events and most of their friends are tied to their jobs because when their job ends, they're all gone, either back to where they came from or off to someplace new. Therefore, it's not that important to make other friends in the community.

Speaking for myself, I have lived here for 12 years (Anne Arundel County, MD) and always felt ready to pack up and go if I had to. I gave little thought to moving here other than convenience (job, shopping) and no negatives (crime, traffic). I liked where I lived before (Long Island) but it was time for a change.

My friends are tied to my job. I don't know a single person (more than a hi and good-bye) outside of work that is not from my job. I live in a very nice/bland/fairly crime-free/upper middle class safe town but it's transient. People say hi and good-bye but you don't know their names. I care so little about what's happening locally that I only watch National News unless there is a weather event. I'm not complaining, it's just an observation.

I just retired. I'm moving in 3 weeks and I already know more about my new town in another state, its activities, its people, its history than I ever knew about this one. I'm excited about "living" there and meeting people. I have plans to do things. It's about the same size. I doubt if I will ever come back here or even think about it after I drive over the town line. I will keep in touch with my friends and hopefully, I'll see them again but the area itself is just someplace where I spent time. I have feelings about Long Island where I lived for most of my life. But the DC area, is just some place I stopped by.
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Old 04-26-2007, 02:22 PM
 
Location: NoVa
94 posts, read 307,933 times
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Hello..I'm from Houston and moved to the D.C. area 7 months ago. I'm still a newbie in the area but have made a few friends outside my work. I agree with LauraC's post. Most are here for a period of time and leave (like myself, I'll prob move back to H-town in a few yrs) but I like this area. I enjoy meeting people from all around- "Wow, you're from where?" I sure miss the Southern friendliness though! I was at a bar a few weeks ago and had to get an extra stool to sit. I was dragging it by these two men (in their 40's) but neither offer to help. I asked one men to move up a bit so I can pass by but he told me to go around. He later apologized after he over heard me b*tch and complain to my friends! I just digest everything I see in this area and learn from it.
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