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Old 12-07-2009, 11:56 AM
Location: Texas
548 posts, read 1,321,863 times
Reputation: 382


Great thread! I have moved many, many times in my life and enjoyed every one of my new hometowns/countries very much... Until now. I never knew I could have such a dislike for a place like I do now. It is difficult to get to know people here. I have tried and tried, to no avail. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad if this place is scenic, but scenic it is not. I never felt culture shock from moving to Germany and Japan, but I am feeling it here in TX. Unfortunately, TX is where my husband's family lives. This is home to him. This is where he wants to settle. He said he doesn't want us to stay here if I'm unhappy, but I feel it would be selfish of me to uproot my family. Sigh. It's getting more difficult to stay positive, but I have to keep trying.

I hope everything works out for the best for us all!

Old 12-07-2009, 04:40 PM
575 posts, read 1,131,028 times
Reputation: 409
Originally Posted by NWPAguy View Post
My wife might be singing a similar song by October. We married last June and I followed her to northwest PA which has always been "home" for her. Her parents are definitely "homebodies", living on the same piece of property where her father was born and raised, and living in the same town where they've both lived for over 99% of their 50+ years of life.

Now, we're going to be moving to Texas. Heaven only knows how that will work for her. I know I won't care... I'm sick of cold weather, and I'm sick of the depression and despair which pervades the entire northwest Pennsylvania area. However, for my wife, this is "home". Since graduating college, she has seen the true and harsh reality of life up here... it's HARD... so although this area is losing its appeal for her, it's still what has been "home" for her 23+ years.

The move to Texas will bring a definite climate change, and most importantly, 1400 miles between her and her parents / aunt & uncle / grandmother / brother / friends who still live up here. She's not looking forward to that at all. That is the one thing which makes her not crazy about moving to Texas... if her family would move with us, she'd be enthusiastically packing boxes right now.

Our truth is the same as yours... there isn't much we can do. We have determined after a year of working hard to make a life up here that it just ain't gonna happen. I can't have a successful music business in an area where nobody has much money, and she can't find a good teaching job in an area where teaching jobs are the best jobs there are... such that teachers hold onto their jobs with a death grip and the only new teachers that get hired at the elementary level are those who have subbed for years beforehand. If we're going to survive and not go bankrupt, we MUST move far away. She has suggested that we move somewhere not THIS far away, but the truth is that if we're more than 2 hours from her parents, it ain't a day trip to go see them and there won't be any real difference between 300 miles of separation and 1400 miles of separation.

I hope we don't wind up in a situation like what you have... but it may happen. When you say that Vermont is depressing, you could be talking about how a slower pace of life doesn't measure up to what you grew up with... the fast-paced city life of one of the largest cities in America. You could also be talking about the weather, I imagine... and the economic prospects, maybe? I say that northwest PA is depressing because the weather is gloomy and crappy more than 75% of the time (it's freaking June and it only JUST started getting warm enough for my tastes)... and also because the economy is barely puttering along. Most people here are blue-collar factory workers, and although there's nothing wrong with that, it's about as far as they'll ever go because there isn't anything better around here. Most young people move far away as soon as they can, and the ones that stay are mostly lower-class and unlikely to make much of themselves. On top of that, the area hasn't supported my business despite how hard I've worked to make it happen. THAT is depressing.

The question is this... are y'all better off in Vermont? If you are, you should be able to find reasons to love it. A social circle can be built. A home is what you make of it. If you're better off in Vermont than you were in Houston, you'll eventually realize that and then you'll come to love Vermont. I've never lived in the South and before this past weekend I'd never even BEEN to the South but for a stopover at the DFW airport... but I know that my wife and I will be much better off down there and so I'm sure I'll come to love it. Being able to wear shorts and a T-shirt in January while my northwest PA counterparts are freezing their little butts off brushing a foot of snow off of their cars will feel really good.
I think you and your wife going to be ok in Texas since your wife is a teacher. I would refer Dallas over Houston or Austin.
Old 09-10-2013, 09:49 AM
1 posts, read 1,287 times
Reputation: 10
My daughter and her husband are moving to hawaii he is in the service and its his first station of duty. For the past four years she has lived only two and half hours from me so if needed i could always go see her. I am feeling very depressed and lost i am happy they are seeing the world but depressed because she is the last of my blood family around my parents are deceased and i have no brothers or sisters. I am married but my inlaws are not close with me so i feel alone like nothing left to live for....
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