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Old 04-25-2007, 03:26 PM
 
267 posts, read 1,705,867 times
Reputation: 199

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Here's the story: Me and my husband and our 2 year old son are from Houston. I lived in Houston my whole life and my husband has lived there the past 20 years. He's always hated Houston and I shared some of the same feelings for it. Horrible traffic, crime, the terrible everlasting summers, etc. Good things about houston, Family, friends, lots to do, good food, etc. Well hubby found an out of state job in Vermont and I was so on board for it and loved it when we came to look for a rental house in February. I was ready to begin a new adventure, just the three of us. We've been here about 6 weeks now and I dont like it here at all.

We live in a scenic beautiful but rural area. The people here are wonderful and nice. But I'm not use to the small town way of life. I hate that there are no fast food places or big stores to go shopping. I'm use to the convenience of living in a big city. My husband loves it here and loves the cold. I think its depressing here. I have been out and about and joined a play group with my son. But I still miss home. My husband has to stay at his new job at least 2 years or else he'll have to pay back all the moving costs. I'm a stay at home mom and pregnant with baby #2 due in September.

I've shared with my hubby how much I don't like it here and he has been sympathetic but says there isn't much we can do about it now. He says unless we win some huge jackpot lotto then we can move, lol.

We are close to our families back home and we are all keeping in touch but its hard not being there. It makes me sad to know that our kids wont have their grandparents around.

Sorry this is so long. I just wish we never moved up here so far away. Please share your stories and let me know if you've been through something similar and how you coped.
Thanks!

 
Old 04-25-2007, 05:16 PM
 
Location: God's Country
21,634 posts, read 30,236,585 times
Reputation: 30179
If I could trade places I would, I HATE living in Houston! We want to move to Tenn.
Have you joined a church? You might find friends there. I can't wait to get out of here!
 
Old 04-25-2007, 05:19 PM
 
Location: North Dakota Farm
322 posts, read 1,134,794 times
Reputation: 171
Far from home.....been there, done that, got the T-shirt and still living it! I'm from Western Canada, my husband from South Texas...now we're in ND. We are both a long ways from home and it doesn't help that our homes are in two seperate countries.

Although hubby REALLY hates it here (can't really blame him since it is a huge shock from TX to ND...the cold and food) but we deal with it. It was very different at first going from a large city to a VERY rural area, but to be honest...neither of us would now ever move back to a city.

I think if you give it some time, you will adjust. Geeze, we've been here 4 years but for some reason can't move. It's hard being so far away from family but it makes it extra special during the holidays when we take a trip to see them. The kids keep in contact with letters, phone calls and emails (from my account). It will be a challenge for the first while, but before you know it and just as you're adjusting you will have the opportunity to move if you wish to. The 2 years flies by (at least for us) and before we know it, it's 4 years.

I would say take it a day at a time. It's depressing at first but it's mostly the shock of such a big change. It'll wear off and you may start to see that the environment is much better for the kids (as opposed to high crime). You may have yet to love it there! I know for me, as a mom, it's so nice to be able to see the kids running around outside on the farm and I don't have to be watching for creeps. That in itself makes me happy we made the move up here/down here (depends on who's side you're looking at it from).

I think you're doing very well joining others, making friends and participating in different things. Keep doing it and things will smooth over. As for family, just keep in regular contact, send lots of photos, have your little one (s) talk on the phone, write letters etc...etc... Plan trips back home at least once or twice a year. It DOES get easier...well, for some...I can't speak for everyone. You very well may learn to love it in your new state!
 
Old 04-25-2007, 05:36 PM
 
Location: Deep In The Heat Of Texas
2,639 posts, read 2,457,468 times
Reputation: 700
All I can say is you are one very lucky woman!!
 
Old 04-25-2007, 05:37 PM
 
18,340 posts, read 23,506,172 times
Reputation: 34387
sounds like you are homesick and feel out of place.

if you think vermont is rural..come to maine for a week,

part of me wants to say, quit yer whining!!

you are blessed with one child and another on the way
and you have a husband thats a good provider for his family, doing his best,,
many couples in a similar position,,the mother still has to work full-time just to get by. your hubby is making sacrifices for you and his family,,,,you also have to make sacrifices, whats best for your family,,not just for yourself.
id stop immediately giving your hubby negative vibes (or outright complaining) appreciate what youve got and make the best of it,,you mentioned it was for only two years?? it will fly by!

vermont isnt all that bad, fresh air, decent folks, low crime, no tornados,,and great maple syrup.
spring is here, a nice time, you will like the summer not being 100 degrees everyday.

sometimes we've got to play the cards we are dealt,, rise to the ocassion and play them with dignity, and appreciation. make the best of it, with youself, your kid{s} and especially your husband, he's doing the best he can,,dont drown his spirits with "i don't like's"

this is just my opinion, please dont think im throwing mud your way.
good luck!!!!
 
Old 04-25-2007, 05:38 PM
 
Location: Colorado
10,017 posts, read 17,013,906 times
Reputation: 2109
Quote:
Originally Posted by luv80s View Post
Here's the story: Me and my husband and our 2 year old son are from Houston. I lived in Houston my whole life and my husband has lived there the past 20 years. He's always hated Houston and I shared some of the same feelings for it. Horrible traffic, crime, the terrible everlasting summers, etc. Good things about houston, Family, friends, lots to do, good food, etc. Well hubby found an out of state job in Vermont and I was so on board for it and loved it when we came to look for a rental house in February. I was ready to begin a new adventure, just the three of us. We've been here about 6 weeks now and I dont like it here at all.

We live in a scenic beautiful but rural area. The people here are wonderful and nice. But I'm not use to the small town way of life. I hate that there are no fast food places or big stores to go shopping. I'm use to the convenience of living in a big city. My husband loves it here and loves the cold. I think its depressing here. I have been out and about and joined a play group with my son. But I still miss home. My husband has to stay at his new job at least 2 years or else he'll have to pay back all the moving costs. I'm a stay at home mom and pregnant with baby #2 due in September.

I've shared with my hubby how much I don't like it here and he has been sympathetic but says there isn't much we can do about it now. He says unless we win some huge jackpot lotto then we can move, lol.

We are close to our families back home and we are all keeping in touch but its hard not being there. It makes me sad to know that our kids wont have their grandparents around.

Sorry this is so long. I just wish we never moved up here so far away. Please share your stories and let me know if you've been through something similar and how you coped.
Thanks!


I did the same thing, a few times!!! Oregon to maryland. Huge move. What I had to do was get involved in community things. When we left MD I was sad to go. Now we are on the way to Aspen and I will do the same there. It is a great way to meet people and to get to know your community. Trust me those little cafe's are much better for you than fast food.
 
Old 04-25-2007, 08:20 PM
jco
 
Location: Austin
2,120 posts, read 5,958,032 times
Reputation: 1409
Give it some time. I've moved around a lot, and six weeks definately isn't enough time to really know how you feel about a place. You can make the decision to go further into you depression, which is probably getting your husband down, or make the best of it. I've heard many people with families say that you have to give it a year before you can really say.

I hope the best for you!
 
Old 04-25-2007, 08:36 PM
 
Location: Great Lakes region
417 posts, read 987,287 times
Reputation: 365
Default luv80s ~~

Bless you, and take heart - it will get better. And yes, I know thats easier said than done. 16 years ago we moved 500 miles north of where I was raised, and if you think Vermont or Maine are rural, you wouldn't believe how it is here in Michigan's Upper Peninsula. Unfortunatley, I let my shyness and insecurities prevent me from embracing my new home, and I made things much harder on myself than they could have been. I don't want to see you go through that. Spring is coming - get outside, take walks with your kids, chat with the people you meet on the way. There are friends out there, believe me. Good luck.
 
Old 04-25-2007, 08:55 PM
 
61 posts, read 221,893 times
Reputation: 28
You're going through culture shock which is perfectly normal. But in time, it will wear off. And if after two years have gone by you're still not adjusting, you can always move back to Houston. So it's not permanent. And you know how fast two years can go by. Just think about the day your 2 year old was born. I bet it feels like it was just yesterday. Hasn't his first two years of life just flown by? Well, that's how fast these next two years are going to fly by. In fact, they'll go faster because you will be a busy mommy of two. And when you're that busy, time flies!!!

I would be willing to bet anything that after some time passes and you take a visit back to Houston to see family. You're going to say to yourself, "how did I ever live here. I can't wait to get back home to Vermont".

I have a friend who lived here in CA. She remarried and her new husband couldn't get work here. But Arizona was flooded with work, so they moved. She took her 2 kids and away they went. Her daughter was good friends with my daughter. Well, they hated it at first. But guess what she says now? "We would never want to move back to CA".

Trust me, you will adjust. And in time, Vermont will feel like home and you will never want to leave. Focus on the positive and think of all that you are blessed with and you'll feel better. In fact, when your family comes to visit you, I wouldn't be surprised at all if some of them decide to move to Vermont when they see the beauty you are surrounded by. I have heard that happening in many familes that have moved!
 
Old 04-25-2007, 09:58 PM
 
267 posts, read 1,705,867 times
Reputation: 199
Thank you all so much for your kind words. It really helps. I think part of the problem I had when we moved here was that it was smack dab in the middle of winter. Sure it looks like a beautiful winter wonderland and I took plenty of pictures but the endless gray clouds kind of got to me. I've never experienced a winter like that so it was a shock. Its spring now and things are looking up. Believe me, I'm not always a dark cloud and I will give Vermont a chance. My husband is great and supportive and we look forward to having a good time here with our kids. It is a culture shock but I do like the laid back attitude here. Its a nice change of pace. Everything isn't so hurried and everyone here is sooooo nice! We can't get over how friendly and helpful everyone is. Houston has its share of nice people but its nothing like Vermont.

I guess I've just have bouts of homesickness. I am going home to visit in June and my mom is coming up in July to visit us. Then we are having family come and visit when the baby is born in September. So I'm excited about that. I know it will take time to adjust and I truly don't feel like I hate it here. I guess I'm just scared sometimes because I've never done something this drastic before.

Anyhoo, thanks for letting me vent. I feel alot better. : )

PS: Remember, part of this probably my crazy pregnancy hormones taking control of my emotions, lol.
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