Any of you ever move without knowing anyone there? (relocating, packing, moving truck)

[Canerican]

I know the title may be a bit confusing, but I am set on leaving Buffalo once I graduate in May. Not 100% sure where yet, but I am looking at Knoxville, Lexington, Tulsa, OKC, and Cincinnati. At any rate, my parents live in Buffalo, but are relocating as well, the thing is they aren't sure where.

My whole family moved here when I was 17 from Canada, and none of us like Buffalo. My sister is in college in Florida. So basically, I am going to be moving somewhere where I don't know anyone at all. My other relatives all live in Canada, and I won't move back there, it's a nice place I just love the US too much to ever leave.

Does anyone have any advice on this? Is it tough to get connected with folks when you don't know anyone at all? I have great friends, and they are all leaving Buffalo too (it's a bad town for jobs)... so I don't know what to do.

I've always had many friends, but I know after college people settle down. Is it tough to find friends in a town when you know no one. I'm not afraid to get involved in social groups, I am active in my church, and active politically...

I am a male if that helps... Oh, and sorry if this is the wrong forum, it just seemed right. And another thing, "just don't move" isn't an option. Buffalo is a dying town, the average starting salary out of college for my field in Buffalo is $38,000, in other cities outside of NY, it is $49,000... not to mention my county is the 4th highest taxed (in aggregate) in the entire country. I am getting out of Buffalo, and moving to a more Conservative state... So that being said, what do I need to know? Anything to go for or to avoid? Any personal success stories?

Thanks...

[thepinksquid]

My husband and I moved from FL to CA in May without knowing anyone out here. It's fantastic. We're not very social people--but it's especially nice not having to feel obliged to spend time with people, or have to blow off people like we did back in FL. Everyone's different--but I can honestly say that we love being out here alone.

[uptown_urbanist]

I've never moved completely on my own (always moved with my husband), but have many friends who have made long-distance moves alone. It can be tough, but can certainly be done. We've moved a lot, and my friends are, like yours, scattered across the country. I maintain those friendships long-distance, coupled with trips to see them when I can. As far as new communties, you'll probably meet some people through work, then will gradually start to make friends through your other activities. The key is definitely to get invovled and keep making the effort. I'm not religious myself, but I have a friend who has moved multiple times on her own. Each time she's become involved with church (although sometimes took a little time to find the church with the right fit) and has met many friends with similar interests that way, and, a couple years ago, her now-husband. I've met people through volunteering, through work, through living in the same neighborhood, and through community involvment. Another potential way to meet people is through friends of friends, or possibly college alumni networks; I've met some really nice people who were friends of my friends, and given that it sounds like your friends and family are scattered as it is you might well know someone who knows someone who you can invite out to coffee whenever you move to your new city.

Good luck, and don't get too worried. Moving somewhere new is an adventure and an opportunity, and it's great that you're able and willing to get involved in the community.

[IonRedline08]

Ive done it a few times. It is nice to get the fresh start.

Move to Texas.

[Naturen]

Yep - packed up my car and hit the road all by myself. Drove from California to Alaska about 15 years ago. I did not know anyone and had never been to Alaska. I was a single female - my family and friends thought that I was 'crazy' and worried about me. What a Wonderful trip/vacation. I took 20 days (took my time) and did some camping and backpacking in No. CA, Oregon, Washington, and Canada.

[LinaJo76]

When I was shipped off to Korea (back in 1998) and served 1 year there, I didn't know anyone there.

When I was stationed in Ft. Bragg, North Carolina I didn't know anyone there either.

When I moved here to ARizona, I didn't know anyone (except my ex at the time knew a few people. We only moved to Arizona because that's where HE wanted to live at. Not me, really).

[Sandhillian]

I moved by myself to Maine right out of college and I had never been there before. I moved to PR with my family without knowing anyone as well. It helps if you have a job where you can meet some people. The older you get the harder it is to meet others I think - unless you have a really outgoing personality. Good luck!

[monkey cabal]

I moved to Los Angeles right out of college, not knowing a soul there. Lived there for several years and had a BLAST!

[SVTLightning]

ive moved a few times without knowing anyone where I moved to. It's fun, it's exciting, and a little bit scary! I always had a job lined up though, so maybe that made it easier.

[Coldjensens]

I guess you could say that my wife did. I grew up in Michigan, my wife near Boston. We lived in California for 18 years. In 2005 we moved back to Michigan. She flew out early with the kids and some of the pets so that they could start school on time. I had to stay to finish packing, close out the sale of our house and complete a trial. Three dayds before I was supposed to leave with 2 huge dogs a tarantula, three freinds and a trailer with the stuff that could not or did not go into the moving van, I was involved in an incident that eventually resulted in our van being totalled. I ended up renting a van and driving out sans trailer and with only one friend (another friend freaked out when he learned that the trarantula woudl be in the car with us and would not come). I was delayed by over a week. She was there alone witht he kids for around five weeks.

When my wife arrived withthe kids in Michigan, she sayed with my parents for a few days while we closed the deal to rent a house and the lady who owned it moved out. Then my wife and kids went to stay in the house so that the kids could start school. My father dropped her and the kids off. They had nto furniture (still in transit) my parents live 50 miles away. I was still a couple of thousand miles away. She did not know a single person in the place we had chosen to live and although she knows my parents, she had seen them for no more than maybe 50 days in our entire lives. She had no car (she borrowed one from my brother's wife a few days later when they left for a few weeks in Germany). She was there for five weeks before I arrived. The furniture arrived after I did. One of our daughters had her 10th birthday just as school was starting and they had a party for her and invited her classmates to our essentially empty house. The night before the party, the sewer backed up and filled the basement with chunky sewage. She had to get the kids registered in three different schools (elementary, middle and high school, try to find a car, purchase or borrow some minimal furniture until our moving truck arrived, get renters insurance, change her drivers license, register to vote, arrange for utilities, cable tv and trash service, etc, all with no one around that she knew. She managed to borrow a futon, a small ancient television, and a folding table and a half dozen folding charis from my brothers. Otherwise they only had what was in their suitcases and some pillows and sleeping bags (and most of the pets).

When my dad left after first dropping her off and the kids went to bed, she sat down in the middle of the empty living room and just cried all night. It was very tough for her. Even after I arrived, we still did not know anyone except my family and some college/high school friends, all of whom live an hour away.

There is no welcome wagon and it was pretty hard to figure out how some of the things worked, since it was different than in California. We did not know anyone, we did not know where anything was, we did nto have a church, we did nto have anyone to give us any advice at all. It is amazing how much stuff you have to hunt down when you are unfamiliar with an area: a dry cleaner, hair cut place, grocery store, shopping mall, doctor, dentist, mechanic, government offices, resturaunts, movie theater, library, swimming pool, riding stable (three of our kids were riding horses at the time), playground, bus stop, gas stations, pizza places, hardware store, the list goes on and on.

It was very difficult, especially for her for the first month or two. Then as we started to get to know people and figure out how things worked and where things are, it was good and exciting. There was a lot of excitement in discovering the nooks and crannies of our new town. When the furniture arrived, it was like Christmas for them. When I finally arrived, they were pulling me in all different directions trying to show me the cool stores, playgrounds, trails, and other things that they had found. In addition to the extreme stress, there was a lot of excitment while everything was new. It is certianly a time of high drama, not all of it good, but not all of it is bad either.