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Old 01-27-2008, 12:37 PM
 
5,244 posts, read 3,100,478 times
Reputation: 1798

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Quote:
Originally Posted by CObound View Post
So I need some opinions. The main question I have is, 'Is it more important to live near family and friends, or is it more important to get out and live somewhere you have always dreamed of living when you have the chance?' The reason I ask is that I am 25 and will be finishing grad school in the spring of 2009. My fiancee and I will be getting married around that time and he will be finishing up a 3 year rotation that he is in for his current job. After the wedding will be the perfect time for us to pick up and move to somewhere new and exciting, but we are torn because we also like being near family and friends. We currently live in the midwest and besides being near people we love, there's not much else we like about it. I am absolutely in love with Colorado and have dreamed of moving there ever since I visited for the first time when I was 18. I have been back to visit multiple times and love it more each time. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that we are torn between moving far away (where we couldn't exactly come home for the weekend) and staying close to our family and friends. What do you think is more important? We keep saying maybe we will go somewhere farther away 'just for a few years' but we know the truth is that if we move out there we probably won't want to come back...at least not anytime soon...not to mention we will probably have pretty good jobs by then that we won't want to leave. We aren't worried about finding jobs and money really isn't an issue (of course if we were trying to move to California it would be a different story)....so what should we do??
I say it sounds like a prime time for you to make that move to Colorado to experience that since it has been a lifelong dream. If you do not you will always have that in the back of your head that "what if" and never having realized it you will come to resent it. Also, it is much easier to do without kids in tow. I don't know what your plan is on children after marriage but I have found that having family around when you have children can be VERY helpful if you have supportive young parents or sisters. I have seen it work both ways where: we have no family around so it can be a little stressful on the other hand we have never had family around. Some friends have family around but they are not much help (older parents or you don't get along), and others use their family on several occasions to babysit and it has been a lifesaver.
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Old 01-27-2008, 01:46 PM
 
5,244 posts, read 3,100,478 times
Reputation: 1798
I have never left the state but we may be going through that adventure in a few months. It all depends on a job...and although I have lived in the same state we grew up in, I have lived away from home since I was 18, went to college 8 hours away and never went back. I think it has been a harder road for us both financially and emotionally, I say us because my dh did the same thing and we actually met after college. We both had to work through college while paying rent; I think having been away from family has allowed us to grow as individuals without their influence. We are very independent and that has really helped now that we have children and have nobody else to depend on to help raise them. We hope our children are just as independent. I have seen where people don't ever leave their hometown or their parents' home for that matter and it is very sad. The parent depends on the kids, and the kids depend on the parents (like overgrown children); it is almost like the cycle of co-dependence. I am glad we have lived away, made our own way, traveled to other places as well, and now look forward to our new adventure in another state; as it is right now we are 10 hours away from family and they still do not visit...might as well enjoy the experience of a new adventure, and maybe get a basement (we've never had one). Good luck!
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Old 01-27-2008, 03:15 PM
 
Location: Concrete jungle where dreams are made of.
8,904 posts, read 6,676,189 times
Reputation: 1819
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tarastomsgirl View Post
I lived in SWFL from the age of 1 to 24..


I thought you grew up in the Bronx as a kid????
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Old 01-27-2008, 08:01 PM
 
Location: NW Orlando
1,722 posts, read 2,560,246 times
Reputation: 1297
Yes...I moved to Orlando in 2004 after living in Virginia for all of my life. It was scary leaving family and friends to go somewhere else but it's better for me now. I miss the family and friends but that's why planes were built.
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Old 03-06-2008, 12:14 PM
 
Location: on a green & blue ball called earth
265 posts, read 410,974 times
Reputation: 147
sure did!

all my family mostly live in chicago and I was born and raised there. I took my son who was ten then and moved to Kansas City Mo.

had no family here and came with three suit cases and $12.00. one suitcase had my sons few things, one had my clothes and the other had my bible and study notes. that's it. I stayed in salvation army shelter and then in foster shelter. I landed an apartment in the worst neighborhood but it was all I could afford.

anyway long story short, I went to school, was on assitance for help, and then got a job. the things I encountered would take pages and pages to tell, but it was one of the best things I've ever done for my son and my self. I have been here now for nearly 13years and have never desired to move back to chicago.

wishing you the best on your choices.......http://www.websitegoodies.com/smilies/gfx/char1/character0148.gif (broken link)


it was frightful to take a leap, but staying-put was far worse. sooo glad I jumped!!!!
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Old 03-06-2008, 12:49 PM
 
Location: Where the sun always shines..
1,939 posts, read 3,953,312 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wilkermoo View Post
I was wondering if anybody else has ever walked away from their life and took a leap of faith to try moving to a different state. Specifically I mean moving away from somewhere where you had a good job, your family was there, you spent your entire life there without ever living anywhere else.


What was your experience? Do you regret it? Did you end up moving back home? Would you do it again and why? Where did you move from and to?
Ahhh yes I did it. The hubby and I picked up and moved from Chicago to Florida. He left a nearly 3 digit paying job, and we both left our families. I was no longer going to be a SAHM, so I left that behind. We went from a 3 br 3000 sq ft house- to a dump, 900 sq ft apartment. And I don't regret it at all. I found a good job that I love, as did he. Our combined income is about 30 grand less than what he made alone, but we are both much happier. The first year was rough but we are doing fine. We made the choice to get out of the Chicago weather as it made me very sick (not to mention hubby worked outside ALL year long). We also wanted our daughter to have a better environment to live in. I can't say things are BETTER (cept the weather) but it was a big change that we are happy with. Since our accomplishment, my parents and sister have moved here also. We've been here 2 years!
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Old 03-08-2008, 10:37 PM
 
Location: USA
4,983 posts, read 5,266,985 times
Reputation: 2506
I noticed most of the posts here were "we moved...". I think the OP meant solo. There is a huge difference. I once moved while married. Cream cheese. Try moving alone. Totally different and extremely hard. I remember running around after work for about 3 months trying to get everything done. I remember trying to get the kids settled in their schools and trying to get ahold of their schools after hours, because we were not allowed personal calls at work.
I remember driving in the winter sleet and looking for a motel our first night here, and we all took hot showers and went to bed.
I remember holding $20 in my hand and realizing it would be 3 weeks before pay day. I remember getting very sick and trying to find a doctor with night hours so I woudn't have to take off work, which would be a point against me if I took off. I found out I had a pneumonia bacterium in my kidneys, I was so sick, fever, everything, and I never missed one day of work. I was told if you took off during your probation, you could lose your job.
I remember that.
I won't forget it either.
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Old 03-08-2008, 10:40 PM
 
Location: USA
4,983 posts, read 5,266,985 times
Reputation: 2506
Quote:
Originally Posted by wilkermoo View Post
I was wondering if anybody else has ever walked away from their life and took a leap of faith to try moving to a different state. Specifically I mean moving away from somewhere where you had a good job, your family was there, you spent your entire life there without ever living anywhere else.


What was your experience? Do you regret it? Did you end up moving back home? Would you do it again and why? Where did you move from and to?

My original plans never worked out. Surprise. But it's very hard to have a Plan B, when Plan A is so hard.
I wouldn't have left a good job. That's priceless in my book, because I have worked for some real Nazis.
I got in trouble once, because I called to make an appointment for my son when he was sick. He wound up having pneumonia. I did it during my lunch break, and I was told to never, ever do that again. No personal calls, not even on your cell phone. I didn't get it.
So to me, if you work for reasonable, decent, honorable people, it's heaven.
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Old 03-09-2008, 09:14 AM
 
Location: TwilightZone
5,299 posts, read 1,998,579 times
Reputation: 1031
Quote:
Originally Posted by nebulous1 View Post
My original plans never worked out. Surprise. But it's very hard to have a Plan B, when Plan A is so hard.
I wouldn't have left a good job. That's priceless in my book, because I have worked for some real Nazis.
I got in trouble once, because I called to make an appointment for my son when he was sick. He wound up having pneumonia. I did it during my lunch break, and I was told to never, ever do that again. No personal calls, not even on your cell phone. I didn't get it.
So to me, if you work for reasonable, decent, honorable people, it's heaven.
I've worked in office environments where people pretty much could do what they wanted. Of course I had the same outcome as you did but for the most part people had freedom at those places. You just got a bad apple on that one.
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Old 03-09-2008, 11:40 AM
 
173 posts, read 427,165 times
Reputation: 94
Quote:
Originally Posted by nebulous1 View Post
I noticed most of the posts here were "we moved...". I think the OP meant solo. There is a huge difference. I once moved while married. Cream cheese. Try moving alone. Totally different and extremely hard. I remember running around after work for about 3 months trying to get everything done. I remember trying to get the kids settled in their schools and trying to get ahold of their schools after hours, because we were not allowed personal calls at work.
I remember driving in the winter sleet and looking for a motel our first night here, and we all took hot showers and went to bed.
I remember holding $20 in my hand and realizing it would be 3 weeks before pay day. I remember getting very sick and trying to find a doctor with night hours so I woudn't have to take off work, which would be a point against me if I took off. I found out I had a pneumonia bacterium in my kidneys, I was so sick, fever, everything, and I never missed one day of work. I was told if you took off during your probation, you could lose your job.
I remember that.
I won't forget it either.

Excellent points- it's no comparison when you're on your own trying to not only start over, make a good life for you & your kids, but also trying to just survive. I know exactly what you're talking about-I've made moves when I was married, no problems...everything's easier when you're married. The contrast in realities is that it's unbelievably hard (seemingly at times to be impossible) when it's just you & your kids. I have similar stories about my former bosses & coworkers,too many... that are just terribly hard to even want to recall. I like to believe that Karma will catch up to those heartless SOB's. Money was terribly tight, w/ nothing to fall back on.
As far as moving & starting over I realize that we should have gotten out of this area a long time ago....we're finally just going to go for it.
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