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Old 01-18-2010, 08:49 AM
20 posts, read 52,353 times
Reputation: 30


So don't do it. You are not required to help people and as far as your friends go they probably figured it doesn't hurt to ask--maybe they were wrong.
They probably just wanted to feel a little more settled a little sooner than a year--and not everyone can afford movers.
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Old 01-18-2010, 09:08 AM
1,963 posts, read 4,364,829 times
Reputation: 1440
Why can`t you help your friends unpack? I`ve helped friends pack. That`s what friends do.
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Old 01-18-2010, 09:14 AM
Location: Central Texas
20,376 posts, read 37,646,158 times
Reputation: 22492
If they are constantly asking you for help, and never giving or offering any in return, that's one thing. If it's a give and take situation, however, remember, you may be in need some day yourself.

It sounds like you and your "friends" have different ideas of what friendship is. I'm in the "everybody helps everybody else out and makes it a party" category, myself, but not everyone is. Probably best to make sure everybody is on the same page when making future friendships.

What IS your definition of friendship, FWIW?
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Old 01-19-2010, 12:23 AM
Location: Northern Nevada
8,545 posts, read 9,299,636 times
Reputation: 3062
Why did the OP even start this post. If you dont want to help or can't help, just decline..

We have been in our house since June. I have tons of boxes left to unpack. We are slow, we have had other things going on, and we are not as able bodied as we used to be. We are happy to have help and thank goodness our real friends are there if we need something moved around in the house, or just to give us a kick start. and the favor is returned. And we have never hired movers because we can't afford it.

Just decline and no need to make a huge deal out of it. I would rather have no one help me than someone who thinks its worth posting on an anonymous forum..just sayin'
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Old 01-19-2010, 06:41 AM
Location: Dallas TX
14,984 posts, read 21,595,928 times
Reputation: 22065
I don't get it either. If you don't want to, just say no. Maybe there is more to the story and these friends are mooches on a regular basis. I have had many friends who never ask for help and I offer, because there are too many people out there that won't ask for help when needed.
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Old 01-19-2010, 12:53 PM
Location: Lead/Deadwood, SD
948 posts, read 2,344,438 times
Reputation: 855
I think of 2 things when friends call in need - Pizza and Beer! - Oh ya, and usually more friends to hang with..
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Old 01-19-2010, 12:59 PM
Location: Harrisonburg, VA
994 posts, read 1,457,453 times
Reputation: 1198
Keep in mind that if you do indeed *help unpack* and something goes missing...guess who is getting the blame. Personally I would just tell them that you are not comfortable handling their personal belongings. You should never allow yourself to be shamed into performing something you don't want to. A friendship should not only be based on *what you can do* for someone else.
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Old 01-19-2010, 01:20 PM
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,236 posts, read 41,238,072 times
Reputation: 10945
Originally Posted by puglywump View Post
This seems ridiculous to me. These people have a year to unpack. Anyone else deal with "friends" like this?
If it isn't your stuff, I don't see where you have an obligation. I also don't know how they expect you to know where and how they want the stuff put! It's their stuff, they should deal with it.

Honestly, though, I STILL have things stashed in boxes that I haven't looked at in ten years.
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Old 01-20-2010, 07:06 PM
4,805 posts, read 20,149,129 times
Reputation: 4971
Well to answer OP's question, no I don't have 'friends' like that.

I don't have friends who keep score on who has done what favors for whom. And none of my friends ask for help in a way that makes me feel 'obligated'. If I can't or don't want to do something, I decline.

And if someone asked me to unpack I would see it more as a chance to get together and talk and enjoy each other's company more than a work day. And I would probably ask that they handle their most valued possessions before I arrive or let me know what those are so I can set them aside when I come across them. Not that most of my friends who do self-moves have that many valuables. If they did, they wouldn't be doing the unpacking themselves.
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