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Old 01-20-2010, 11:30 AM
 
Location: Powell, WY
992 posts, read 2,026,337 times
Reputation: 1345

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We moved to Laramie from Houston a few months back. In a nutshell, we're miserable. My husband took a step down in career (HUGE mistake), and now we're stuck with no 401k matching, no overtime, crappy medical care, and completely miserable kids. Not to mention no family or friends AT ALL.

I believe it's in my husband's best career interest to ask for his old job back in Houston (it hasn't been filled and he left on great terms-in fact, they counteroffered him when he resigned). Our kids could go back to their old school and we'd be close to both families. I'm ok with swallowing my pride and admitting a mistake...btw, he loathes it here too...he's not challenged by his job, etc.

BUT now he has it in his head he wants to go to TN because he's started talking to long lost family members. Ugh. I can't do this to my kids...they're too afraid to tell my husband they're miserable because every time they try, he's like, "we're not going back to TX!"

Am I being selfish? Or is he?
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Old 01-20-2010, 12:55 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh--Home of the 6 time Super Bowl Champions!
11,309 posts, read 11,176,885 times
Reputation: 4916
Sit down and talk to him and ask him WHY he doesn't want to go back to Texas. Maybe then you can get to the bottom of his reasons for not wanting to go back and from there figure out your next move as a family. Good luck.

BTW...it's not just his decision! You and the children have a voice as well. Sit down as a family and discuss it.
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Old 01-20-2010, 08:49 PM
Status: "could've~would've~should've used 'have', not 'of'" (set 15 days ago)
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
10,452 posts, read 14,303,163 times
Reputation: 23172
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazymomof3 View Post
...he's like, "we're not going back to TX!"

Am I being selfish? Or is he?
Sounds like he feels very strongly about this, so I would definitely try to find out why he's so adamant. Is it just pride, embarrassment, or is it something more?

I absolutely hated where I used to live. I had a lot of resentment towards my SO at being "forced" to live there and it ate away at our relationship for years and years. I left at the first opportunity, alone.

If he absolutely hates Houston give his feelings strong consideration, even if his reasons seem trivial to you. He also needs to consider the feelings of you and the children, and hopefully some kind of a compromise can be reached.
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Old 01-20-2010, 09:24 PM
 
Location: NW. MO.
1,817 posts, read 5,960,762 times
Reputation: 1354
Why did you all decide to move to begin with? Are those reasons gone now?
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Old 01-21-2010, 09:33 AM
 
Location: Powell, WY
992 posts, read 2,026,337 times
Reputation: 1345
It was a very emotional move...the lure of the mountains, the west...all of it. We thought we'd have a slower pace, better life for the kids. It turns out we grew way too accustomed to knowing if we needed something, we could just get it. Our family was a phone call, and short drive away.

Sadly, we never visited here in the wintertime...now, we're all freezing and battling severe cabin fever.

My husband seems to be on the same page now...thank goodness. The kids are crying every day to go back home and it's about all we can bear. Holidays spent alone are trying, especially if you're used to be surrounded by family all the time.

It takes leaving sometimes to gain perspective on what's really important.
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Old 01-21-2010, 09:45 AM
 
1,963 posts, read 4,381,764 times
Reputation: 1441
We`ve moved around and I will say that it does take time to get acclimated( at least a year) but there was one move that was the move from hell. It started the day we got there. We were there for 3 years and finally was able to leave. We were so glad to get out of there. We are human and we are not going to get it right all of the time.
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Old 01-21-2010, 09:58 AM
 
Location: Powell, WY
992 posts, read 2,026,337 times
Reputation: 1345
Yeah, this has kind of been "from Hell". We're from TX and the day we pulled up to the house, we noticed our neighbors' bumper stickers....they said, "God Hates Texas". I thought to myself...nice. Then the kids saw them and got upset.

Our dog was killed here, my husband got his first ticket in like 10 years, my husband's Jeep was vandalized, and I've listened to my kids cry every single day about missing home.

I'm never too proud to admit a mistake...life's too short to be prideful. Life's also too short to not spend time with the ones that matter.

I hope it all works out.
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Old 01-21-2010, 10:57 AM
 
48,516 posts, read 83,890,268 times
Reputation: 18049
Bascailly you need to give more thought and less dreaming in making the next move. Juast a few months is really ahrd to judge or get use to a new area of the coutnry.I would advise that you take a long hard look at why you were not happy there and now unhappy here besides just the change of area.A location seldom is the key to being happy.
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Old 01-21-2010, 11:42 AM
 
Location: Powell, WY
992 posts, read 2,026,337 times
Reputation: 1345
I disagree. I think being away from ALL family and friends while in poor health is a huge deal. There are many factors that have made us unhappy here-the cold, the isolation, not knowing anyone, lack of support.

Besides, finding out the grass isn't always greener is a huge part of life. We had a fine life in our hometown, we just didn't see how fortunate we were. Our life was full, and here it's depressing and isolating.
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Old 01-21-2010, 01:27 PM
 
Location: Surf City, NC
364 posts, read 552,696 times
Reputation: 946
I suspect it may be more your attitude than the place. You're feeling cold and isolated, then get out and get to know your neighbors. I moved to Houston once. It was not for me, but I gave the place a chance. I explored the local attractions and made friends with people. After two years I'd had enough of the place, but I appreciated the good things about living there as well as hating the bad parts.
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